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When some help isn’t better than none


When is some help worse than none? When it creates more problems than might have been there without it. While that is easy to say, determining the line between helpful and harmful is less clear.

If your help saves a life, that seems good. If your help saves lives but creates or supports a system that destroys others, when do you decide to stop helping or to change the help you offer?

This is what Linda Polman raises and a key issue in her The Crisis Caravan: What’s Wrong with Humanitarian Aid? (2010, Metropolitan Books; first published in 2008 in Dutch by the title, De Crisiskaravaan).

Linda tells of a huge problem in the humanitarian aid industry (yes, it is one even if its primary purpose is to provide care for traumatized and displaced peoples). She puts the challenge this way in regard to providing humanitarian aid for those in warzones,

You do what you can for the victims, but soldiers exploit your efforts. They demand money for ever well yo dig and levy sky-high taxes, imposed on the spot, on all the sacks of rice and tents and medicines you arrange to have flown in. They consume a slice of your aid supplies and sell another slice. Among the items they buy with the proceeds are weapons, which they use to drive yet more people into your refugee camps or even to their deaths.

What do you do? Do you conclude that it is no longer possible to cling to the principles of the Red Cross, pack your bags, and leave to help war victims elsewhere? Or do you remain true to your convictions, believing that even if you save only one human life, some relief is better than none? (p. 1-2)

The first 2 chapters detail the problems of the international aid provided to Goma, DRC between July/August 1994 and 1996 when the Rwandan government used their soldiers to force the mass of Hutu refugees and former genocidaires back into Rwanda rather than allow the camps be locations for regrouping of the militias that would try to return to fight the new Rwandan government.

A couple of her observations

1. Not all refugees are the same. Some are truly in need. But a large number of the refugees in Goma brought a treasure trove of materials looted from their own country. Thus, they were less likely pushed there and more likely going there to reconstitute a machine against the RPF in a safe place.

2. The international community came in droves, almost seeming to try to make up for the failures in Rwanda for the past several months. But they didn’t understand that many of these folks were either perpetrators or related to them.

3. Not all of the deaths reported as due to cholera were in fact illness related. There were many that were killed for failing to be loyal enough to the Hutu extremist groups

4. NGOs have to market themselves and thus spend lots of money to get contracts to help more

5. NGOs hide the fact that many of their stuffs were taken by Hutu leaders so the NGOs would raise the number of people they were helping in order cover up that they lost a large percentage of materials/food to theft and corruption

6. Journalists are more likely to get their way paid to cover a crisis by an NGO, thus raising questions about the images they send back. Likely not going to be as objective.

Now, none of this suggests we shouldn’t provide humanitarian aid to refugees in warzones. But it does remind us that our help can also hurt others. Being wise as serpents and harmless as doves is a lot harder than we might expect.

Given our trip to the region next month, I have to remember that our good intentions are not always enough. I’m not sure how our help can hurt but if we don’t ask the questions, we won’t know either. Here are some open questions

1. Does short-term trauma recovery efforts start a healing process but fail to keep it going thus encouraging more hope than discouragement?

2. Does bringing people together to talk about trauma unintentionally trigger trauma or feelings of rage (we won’t know if some people are considered the “wrong kind of people”)?

3. How does taking pictures or filming any part influence the “data” we think we are collecting?

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Filed under conflicts, Congo, counseling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Rwanda, Uncategorized

Magazine Note: CCT on Global Issues and Challenges for Counselors


Volume 18:3 of Christian Counseling Today (published by AACC) is now out. If you don’t normally see this publication, you might want to lay your hands on a copy. Here is some of the content

  • Report on the Cape town Declaration (Lausanne Congress) and its vision for seeing counseling as mission (by Brad Smith and Fred Gingrich). You can read the whole Cape Town Declaration here.
  • Some thoughts on the cross as it relates to kingdom culture by Samuel Rodriguez
  • Diane Langberg’s important essay, “Trauma as a Mission Field.”
  • One of my former students on the state of religious persecution in China and the state of church based counseling. A must read if you are thinking about ministering in China.
  • An excellent article by Naji Abi-Hashem about 21st century challenges to the work of counseling
  • I and Josh Straub have a brief introduction to basic competencies for those who want to work internationally (had to get that in there!)

In addition, there are several other good essays dealing with the tragedy in Japan and Haiti, trauma in relief workers, and more. None of these are very long articles but they do serve to prime the pump. They should get you excited to think globally and act locally as a counselor.

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Trauma Recovery Work in the DRC and Rwanda


Location map of Rwanda

Image via Wikipedia

It is official. Diane Langberg and I have our tickets for our upcoming trip to the Congo (DRC) and Rwanda where we will be interacting with trauma victims, pastors (who are also trauma victims), Bible Society and World Vision workers, and probably medical and education officials as well.

We leave on October 10 and arrive in Uganda on the 11th. We will be traveling into the DRC in the northeast quadrant (picture tiny plane!) near Bunia and also to Goma, on the shores of Lake Kivu and under the shadow of a large and active volcano. There we will be observing the work of the American Bible Society and She’s My Sister as well as meeting with rape and trauma survivors.

On the 17th, Lord willing, we’ll drive from Goma into Rwanda to Kigali. There we will be joined by colleague Carol King (Langberg & Associates therapist) and Josh Straub of the AACC and our Rwandan compatriots Josephine (WV) and Baraka (IJM) and will lead a  three-day training seminar re: trauma recovery resources and best practices. The plan is to return home via Kenyatta airport and Brussels on the 22nd.

Prepping for the trip includes everything from shots to planning who does what training segments. Those of you inclined to do so, pray for the logistics there as World Vision Rwanda puts the final touches on the location of training and invitees. A lot of work must happen for this to go smoothly. Also, there is an effort to raise funds for this (Project Tuza) at the AACC World Conference in Nashville the last week of September. Pray that attendees will catch a vision and support us as they can.

Anyone wishing to donate can here.

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Filed under Congo, counseling, counseling science, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Rwanda, trauma, Uncategorized

What did you read this summer?


Here in Philadelphia we are preparing for whatever part of Hurricane Irene comes our way. Looks like there will be time spent in the Monroe basement fighting the onslaught of water. Wet vacs at the ready.

In the lull before the storm, this would be a good time to review the good reads of the summer. I’ll tell you what I read if you tell me what you read or listened to via CD/recorded books. Is there a theme? I read things that caught my interest which was all over the place.

  1. Dancing in the Glory of Monsters: The Collapse of the Congo and the Great War of Africa, by Jason Stearns. Stearns has done a masterful job in collecting first person interviews from those involved. From Congolese, rebel fighters, RPF soldiers, Ethnic Tutsis who have long called the Kivus area home. If you are interested in trying to understand the complex nature of the political and humanitarian crises in this area after the Rwandan genocide, this is a good book to read. A bit depressing but helpful in prep for our October trip to the Congo and Rwanda. I also started a book about Robert Mugabe and Zimbabwe but didn’t finish it.
  2. The Anglo Saxon World, by Michael D.C. Drout. I listened to this 7 CD set. Dr. Drout (from the other Wheaton College) was eminently capable in his lectures covering the rise and fall of the Anglo Saxon world in England from 500 t0 1000 AD. I never lost interest! Helped me understand its Germanic roots, influence on English Christianity, the value of Epic poetry like Beowulf (which I have decided to read now), and some of the foundations for Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings (Drout considers Tolkien one of the foremost Anglo-Saxon experts).
  3. Ghost Train to the Eastern Star, by Paul Theroux. Listened to this book as well. Paul writes a travel log of his retracing a prior travel some 33 years earlier where he takes trains across Europe to China and up Russia. Some 25,000 miles of travelling. Quite interesting if you like knowing what life is like in the countries he explores. Seems to be quite focused on the sex trade and some very heartbreaking descriptions of trafficked women in southeast Asia. But the BEST part of his book is this: read his introduction to the book here on p. 1-3. See what he says about travel writers pathology. Funny!
  4. Baseball books. I read two this summer. Knuckler: My Life with Baseball’s Most Confounding Pitch by Tim Wakefield. I’m a big Sox fan and I have a great deal of respect for Wakefield. He’s no superstar but he is absolutely willing to do whatever his team needs, whether go out and start, do long relief, or sit the bench during the playoffs because they need someone else to be on the roster. As I write this, Wake is trying for his 200th win…and getting hit around. Seems he’s stuck on 199 for a bit. The book was a nice look at his life from his own vantage point. The second book was even more interesting to read. Nobody’s Perfect tells the story and the back story on what should have been a perfect game thrown by Armando Galarraga–except for a blown call on the last out (what SHOULD have been the last out). What makes this interesting is that each chapter is written in the first person telling the inner story of the pitcher and the umpire, James Joyce. Both show their quality character. If you like baseball and understand that a perfect game is so unlikely and that umpires never admit their mistakes, you will like this book.
  5. On recommendation by someone who gets how systems work, I read, The Primes: How any Group can Solve any Problem, by Chris McGoff. Excellent business planning book that didn’t feel like business at all but how to figure out how to do the “one thing” that you just have to do. I’m reading it as I try to figure out how to devise a continuing education and consultation side of my work. If you ever dream about starting a business or solving a work problem, I’d encourage you to read this.
  6. You might be wondering if I read anything in my own domain of counseling. I did. Two books. Healing Invisible Wounds: Paths to Hope and Recovery in a Violent World, by Richard Mollica. He describes how the act of telling one’s trauma story can lead to healing. If you are working with international trauma, a must read. I also read Working with Narrative in Emotion-Focused Therapy, by Angus and Greenberg. I started blogging on the chapters but went on vacation and finished it when I didn’t have access to the Internet. I hope to get back to blogging the chapters.

I think that is it. I know I skimmed and glanced at a whole bunch more. I tend to do the 5 minute read on lots of books that might be interesting but that I know I don’t have time to read. The 5 minute read gives me the main points and conclusions without having to take so much time.

By the way, the summer isn’t over. I have an edition of Beowulf on my nightstand. Not sure I’ll get through it. Linda Polman’s The Crisis Caravan: What’s Wrong with Humanitarian Aid is waiting right beside it. I’m about to start listening to John Milton’s Paradise Lost on my drives to work and I’m listening to Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter at the gym. My new great love is listening to stuff when it would normally be wasted time. My way of not thinking about problems.

So, did you read or re-read something fun this summer? What was it?

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Filed under book reviews, Good Books, Uncategorized

How do you make decisions?


A line in a recent sermon by David White has stuck with me for a bit. He asked us to consider the mindset behind our decision-making. He reminded us that we might say, “If the Lord wills I will do thus and so.” Sounds holy right? But maybe we really mean, “If God lets me do what I want, then I’m going to do what I want.” Notice the differences between being concerned about what God wants and what we want to do if he’ll just let us.

The line that got me was this:

If it is not unholy, should I pursue my particular ambition?

To be honest, I’m not sure he said it or if that is what I wrote down in my notes. What I took away from it is that we commonly quick check the box on whether what we want to do is right or not and if we think it is right, then we stop asking God whether we ought to do it or not. While it is good to consider rights/wrongs in decision-making, I can still ignore important matters in determining whether I should choose to do A or B. This probably sounds abstract so let me put this into a specific and real context:

Should I accept a speaking engagement invitation some months from now? The group and topic are worthy of the time. But should I do it? If it is not wrong, can I just say yes? Is right/wrong really the same as asking God whether or not this is good and right for me to do. As I considered the factors in the decision, here’s some of what passed through my mind.

  • Well, it is a conference I was already considering I might attend. So, I would have been gone from my family anyway.
  • This particular invitation was pretty special and might not repeat any time soon. I should do it.
  • You know Phil, a number of your mentors and colleagues would be there and it would be cool to be on the docket as “invited.” Then I admitted to myself: Glory is not really a reason and the work would be greater than just attending. You often underestimate how much effort it takes to do these things.
  • I really want to do this. My motivations are mixed but it still would be fun.
  • I hate saying no to requests. 

So, what did I do? I asked God for some help in making the decisions. I did not choose to talk to anyone about it (other than my wife and the one doing the inviting) for fear I would get folks to tell me what I wanted to hear.

How did it turn out? Believe it or not just as I was crafting the email to tell the conference planner that I would be coming, I remembered I had tentatively given my assent to an event here in the Philadelphia area. Now, you need to know that this event was more of a dream than a reality, more of, “I’m willing to be present if you guys decide to hold that meeting.” After a fleeting thought that I could squeeze both event in (something I’ve tried before), I realized I was getting my answer and some grace to say no to something that was absolutely enticing but not what I need to do this year.

Does God have a specific will?

I continue to believe in Jim Petty’s 3 circles of discerning the will of God. Somethings are very clearly wrong and should be avoided. This is the inner circle and you could label it “the law”. The middle circle are things that are not necessarily wrong but need to be evaluated through the lens of “the law of love.” These are things that could be wrong because they reveal that we love ourselves more than others. For example, if I decide to give up my job to take up a risky start-up business, I might be unloving to my family and placing them at more risk than they are comfortable with. Finally, the outermost circle contains everything else and is “christian liberty.” So, I decided to go to college or I’ve decided to get married and this seems good to those who know me well. There may be many choices of good schools and potential spouses. Christian liberty says that there isn’t one choice and if I screw it up I’m out of God’s will.

And while I still think in these terms, I am also realizing I don’t spend much time thinking beyond my own interests. It is time to take up the challenge of this question, “Okay, so it is not wrong…but is it right for me and my family? Is this how I should spend my time?” And then…time to pray a bit more and wait expectantly for an answer.

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Filed under Christianity, Guidance and Counseling, Insight, Uncategorized

Narrative Therapy and Emotion: Meaning Making


Continuing with our summary of Working with Narrative in Emotion-Focused Therapy (by Angus and Greenberg) we come to chapter 2. Here the authors attempt to lay out how we make meaning. But before we try to describe their model, consider how you make events and feelings mean something to you.

What data do you use to make something mean something? You use your body, your culture, your emotion, your reason, your previous meaning making (and the messages you receive from others). Consider this example. You pull up to a light and you glance over and see a person in the car waiting in the next lane. They wave a finger towards you. What does it mean? Well, it depends on your culture and your previous experience with that finger way. Is it a curse or a point to something else? The answer depends on where you live and what your lived experience of that finger wave.

The authors slow this process of meaning making (and meaning changing) down by considering facets:

1.   Bodily sensations. These do not exist by themselves but are connected to a sequencing of events. So, you have a feeling and then you immediately put it into a sequence. “I feel this way because…” The goal of therapy is to work to accept, tolerate, and “explain” or narrative emotions in a healthier way.

2. Words. Putting feelings into words tends to “[diminish] the response of the amygdala and other limbic regions to negative emotional images.” (p. 21). Thus, as they say, “…the person is having the emotion rather than the emotions having the person.” (ibid). “…naming an emotion integrates action, emotion, and meaning and provides access to the story in which it is embedded.” (ibid).

3. Naming is construction. “Conscious experience is not simply ‘in’ us and fully formed but instead emerges from a dialectical dance” (p. 22). Thus clients can learn how their own construal of emotions (the words, the meanings) shapes ongoing feelings

…understanding how a condemning self-critical voice leads to feelings of shame and helplessness helps clients to recognize the role they themselves play in maintaining their feelings of depression. (p. 22)

Thus, the goal is to encourage reflection of one’s common interpretative themes to see how they tend to organize and categorize their lived experiences.

4. Change the story. How does a person go about changing narrative themes (e.g., challenge and re-write feelings of shame)? How does one re-interpret shame feelings as sadness? Note the that goal is not to deny the feeling or reject it in any way. Rather, the goal is to interpret the feeling in a more constructive way. Consider this example:

I offer my son some advice. He does not take it but goes on to do the opposite. I might feel rejected? Further, I might go on to remind myself that no one ever respects me and listens to my ideas. I might feel insignificant and unloved. With the help of a counselor, I might re-name the feelings as sadness rather than rejection (e.g., I feel sad that he didn’t take my advice and recognize he might face certain consequences that he might have avoided if he had listened to me). Part of the transformation requires that I live with limitations. I am not capable of making my son choose what I want. I suspect that part of what leads us away from sadness and towards anger and feelings of rejection is our unwillingness to live with feelings such as sadness and grief. These things shouldn’t be this way if  others would just treat us right!

5. Reconstruct identity. Its one thing to re-write a narrative of a single event. It is yet another to write a new narrative about our self or about others. The authors say this, “Constructing a sense of self involves an ongoing process both of identifying with and symbolizing emotions and actions as one’s own and constructing an embodied narrative that offers temporal stability and coherence.” (p. 25)

What might a counselor do to facilitate reconstruction? The authors go on to give a brief overview of 4 phases of “narrative-informed EFT.” I will cover them in the next post.

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Filed under counseling, counseling science, Uncategorized

When someone you love suffers from PTSD?


Has anyone read this book? The full title is: When Someone You Love Suffers from Posttraumatic Stress: What to Expect and What you Can Do  (By Claudia Zayfert and Jason DeViva (Guilford Press).

If so, any thoughts on it? I do not yet have it in my possession. One of the areas I found wanting re: PTSD is a good book for spouses of survivors of sexual abuse. There was a book that I would use but is no longer in print. Some do read “Stop Walking on Eggshells”, a book about living with Borderline Personality Disorder. While there are relational behaviors commonly seen in people with either complex PTSD or BPD, the two problems are different and sadly, those with complex trauma reactions get stigmatized with the BPD label.

So, if anyone has seen this and wants to lend their comments, I would welcome them here.

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Filed under Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychology, ptsd, Uncategorized

Narrative therapy and emotion 1


This month, Richard Smith and I are teaching an on-line class entitled, Christian Counseling in Postmodern Culture. Dr. Smith is managing the culture side of things in this class and has students thinking about the impact of consumerism, the “empty” self of the modern era, and “infantilist ethos” (from Barber’s 2008 Consumed)

This week Dr. Smith gave the class this quote:

At heart postmodernity [is] the same anthropology: both see humans as primarily units of consumption for whom choice is the defining characteristic… The difference between modernity and postmodernity is not that great looked at in this way: The cult of the autonomous ego, an endlessly acquisitive conqueror and pioneer devolved into a commodious individualism characterized by an unencumbered enjoyment of consumption goods and commodities.  (Brian Walsh and Sylvia Keesmaat).

A mouthful? Boil it down to this…postmodernist philosophy is very much concerned about the self. Not all that new. Now, postmodernism is much more than that and NOT all bad. But my point here is this: a counselor working in this culture must be able to connect with the client and help them construct/reconstruct their story rather than just give them lists of universal truisms to apprehend. Not that there isn’t universal truth but that the approach to them must  done in a dialogical and storying manner.

Enter narrative therapy.

Thus, I intend to blog a bit on this topic during the rest of August by summarizing and commenting on Working with Narrative in Emotion-Focused Therapy: Changing Stories, Healing Lives, by Lynne E Angus and Leslie S. Greenberg (APA, 2011).

Chapter one begins with this statement:

Being human involves creating meaning and using language to shape personal experiences into stories, or narratives. (p 3)

Do you agree? I would argue there is much truth in this. We shape our sense of self from our retelling of our experiences (both in words and in unspoken thoughts/emotions). But, we do not re-tell all of our experiences. Rather, we collect some and ignore others. Part of counseling is to dialog with the clients about how they shape their own narrative.

The authors then make this statement about the work of counseling,

As therapists, it is when we listen carefully to our clients’ most important stories that we gain access to how people are attempting to make sense of themselves in the context of their social worlds. In this way, psychotherapy is a specialized discursive activity designed to help clients shape a desired future and reconstruct a more compassionate and sustaining narrative account of the past. (p. 3-4)

Here they are telling us that our stories we tell are shaped by our emotions and at the same time make sense of our emotions.

What is EFT? It is a therapy that sees emotions as “centrally important in the experience of the self.” (p. 6). It was developed (principally by Les Greenberg) out of humanistic and Rogerian ideas of self-actualization and of counselor activities of being with, following the client and guiding. Throw in some F. Perl’s empty chair techniques as well. EFT focuses on emotions. Adaptive emotions are “the most fundamental, direct, initial, and rapid reactions to a situation…” (p. 7). Maladaptive emotions “…usually involve overlearned responses based on previous, often traumatic, experiences.” By this they mean emotions such as shame and abandonment sadness. They define secondary emotions as those reactions that are intended to protect the primary or most vulnerable emotions. Finally, they define instrumental emotions as those expressed for a motivation to achieve an aim.

Why the focus on emotion? Because they seek the goal of being emotionally congruent and adaptive. In this book, they focus on empathic attunement and changing client narratives.

How? Clients identify, experience, explore, story, make sense of, and flexibly manage their emotions (their words). Therapists notice “meaning markers” that reveal client confusion or conflict with the self.

This book will explore the narrative approach to EFT. “Critical life events must be described, reexperiences emotionally, and restoried before the trauma or damaged relationship can heal. New meanings must emerge that coherently account for the circumstances of what happened and how the narrator experienced it…” (p. 11)

Finally, they say,

…no form of psychotherapy is likely to have a big impact on basic temperament traits, but a client’s specific strategies, adaptations, and their internalized life narratives (i.e., macronarratives) have as much impact on behavior as do dispositional traits. (p. 13)

That is an interesting quote and puts the act of storying as more important than disposition.

So, what we will look at in the remaining 7 chapters is how the authors help facilitate new meanings and change their own narrative. The question for us is whether or not the narrative or re-storying approach to therapy is (a) effective in remediating problems, and (b) fits with Christian faith.

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Filed under christian counseling, counseling, counseling science, counseling skills, Psychology, Uncategorized

Things you like to do on vacation?


Drift Boat Fly Fishing on the Androscoggin Riv...

Image via Wikipedia

What do you do on vacation that really feels like it is what vacation is all about? Notice I’m not asking you about your fantasy but about what things you do as tradition on vacation that signal to you that you are not just doing life as usual?

For me, it includes several things…most of which are in Maine

1. A walk in the woods in Maine

2. A walk in the woods where I find some edible berries to pick

3. Doing something on water (ocean or lake or river)

This week we did all of the above. Walked and found berries (blueberries, raspberries). Canoed for 10 miles on the Androscoggin River without seeing another soul. And today we rode the Bailey Island cruise from Portland to Bailey Island.

A good vacation. Too bad my city kids don’t love it as much as I do. They worried that whales might tip the boat, that bears or moose might attack, that rapids might overturn us (nothing that would even rise to a class 1 rapid). Maybe it didn’t help when I said there were man-eating fish in the river.

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Filed under Family, Uncategorized

The next generation will have less than us?


The western front of the United States Capitol...

Image via Wikipedia

I began the following post on March 1 of this year. I set it aside because I wasn’t so sure how to end it. But the recent squabbling about how to ensure the US will be able to pay its bills has me feeling pretty sure that the next generation is going to have a tough go at it.

I’m no economist. I stink at math. But, I’m pretty sure that my children’s generation is going to be worse off than my own. What makes me think this? Consider some facts

  • Our consumption oriented world cannot keep the economy afloat…debt is ballooning out of control
  • Educational costs are skyrocketing and do not necessarily bring greater income potential
  • We make few things in this country so jobs in industries are shrinking. At some point, don’t we need to do something other than service jobs?
  • Aging baby boomers (and those of us just a bit too young to be considered boomers) are going to need  a lot of help given that many live hand to mouth and with a ton of debt.
  • military cuts will mean fewer 18 year olds will be able to make a living in the service.

So, if my prediction is correct…what does it mean? I suspect it means families are going to continue to live together. I should probably expect my children to live with me a lot longer than I did with my parents (I went to college and never really moved back in except for 2 summer jobs). Families will need to pool their monies more. In some ways, this may not be all bad. Family members will grow in their sense of needing each other to accomplish daily life. This is how most of the rest of the world operates. Financial security, as much as I really do like it, may give us a false sense of independence that is neither healthy to our social or spiritual lives.

Okay, back to July 2011. Our lawmakers are playing chicken with the debt ceiling and hoping the other side will budge. No matter how this turns out, someone is going to get hurt. Probably our children’s generation.

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