www.christianpsych.org, the on-line home for the Society for Christian Psychology has posted a recent post of my own on their site and newsletter. You can find it here. Check out the rest of their site to find great full-length articles and journals. The Society is a division of AACC.
Category Archives: Christianity
Guest Post at Society for Christian Psychology
Filed under AACC, christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity, conflicts
When Your Strength is your Biggest Blindspot
The Penn State independent investigation report is now out. On page 129 the report criticizes Penn State for an
“over-emphasis on ‘the Penn State way’ as an approach to decision-making, a resistance to outside perspectives, and an excessive focus on athletics…”
I’m not a Penn State alum nor do I have an insider’s experience of “the Penn State way.” However, I would assume that this mindset provides alum and current employees some guidelines for how to approach many situations. Consider other entities like the Marines or particular denominations, or sporting associations and how they each have a culture that helps shape decision-making. Tennis players apologize for winning points when the ball hits the netcord. Marines won’t leave someone behind. Presbyterians entrust church polity to representative government processes. The strength of a culture helps individuals choose the “right” response without having to reinvent the wheel every time a conflict or problem arises. But that same culture leads to blindspots–things that no longer receive much attention or criticism.
As a result, an organization or system runs smoothly based on strengths of culture but risks failing to identify where these same strengths damage others. The only way to keep these strengths in check is to be willing to question them as a matter of routine AND to have close proximity to outsiders who will give honest criticism (it certainly helps if this criticism comes from a heart of love).
Individuals suffer from the same problem. What you consider your best asset or strength may be your biggest blindspot. Preachers who are excellent communicators often fail to recognize how much power their words have on others. Organizers sometimes fail to see how much control they exert on others. Critical thinkers sometimes fail to see how they devalue the ideas of others. Visionaries often burden underlings with work that cannot be completed in realistic timeframes.
What is your most valued strength or cultural artifact? Ask a trusted friend to tell you how this wonder part of you (or your organization) can be dangerous.
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Don’t forget, 1 week til our “Abuse in the Church” mini-conference runs. It is not too late to sign up. Let’s all work to make sure that our churches don’t have to suffer the public humiliation that Penn State is going through right now. Come and see what the Church can do to respond with love and righteous!
Filed under Abuse, Christianity, church and culture, deception
2 reasons why finding the root problem may not be a good goal for counselors
How important is it for a counselor to diagnose the client’s root problem? Consider these analogies:
Imagine being diagnosed with cancer in one part of your body but having your doctor tell you that it isn’t important to discover whether the source of that cancer lies elsewhere. You wouldn’t be happy and you would likely seek another opinion. Or, consider this analogy: you keep cutting off the tops of dandelions only to find that they keep coming back. Not a very wise decision. Instead, you find the tap-root and remove it if you really want to stop the weed from growing.
In the last week I have had three conversations about identifying the source or primary cause of someone’s emotional struggle. In each case I was asked questions about the source of the problem.
Is it a chemical imbalance? Is it the result of childhood trauma? Is the primary problem his sin?
I understand these questions. They are reasonable and important to ask. As a counselor, I am trying to assess how a particular psychological problem develops in an individual. But, maybe these questions aren’t as helpful as they first appear. Here are two reasons why we ought not put too much stock into seeking out the root problem and a suggestion for a different approach than the “why” question.
- “Why” questions almost always lead to a simplistic/categorical answer. Most psychological (or spiritual) problems have multi-factored roots. There are biological predispositions, experiences, behavioral choices/habits, perceptions, beliefs, etc. all working together to “allow” the problem to develop. Usually, we do not find this kind of complexity very helpful. We like to narrow things down to single or primary problems. Narrowing down to either/or categories helps us “understand” the problem and exert energy towards a single solution. However, when we demand a primary cause, we will almost always misrepresent the problem and may communicate to others a distorted image of what is taking place. Saying that a psychological problem is the result of sin or neurochemicals or family upbringing ALWAYS flattens the problem and as a result puts too much hope in any intervention.
- “Why” rarely leads to the most important question, “so, now what?” Let’s say that we can figure out why you struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Your mother contracted a virus during the 7th month of her pregnancy and that virus altered your prenatal brain and caused your OCD. Okay…so now what? Notice how the why question provides interesting information and possibly helpful in eliminating the problem in future expecting mothers…but as enticing as it is, the diagnosis doesn’t help much with the, “so now what do I do about it.” In fact the desire to figure out the “why” never is as clear and easy as I have just made it in the virus example and so the search for “why” doesn’t lead to the “so now what” question at all. Now, I don’t want you to think that I care little for historical data gathering. The multifactorial etiology of our problems are worth exploring. We ought to take a look at how early childhood experiences shape our current behavior. We ought to explore the possibility of a biological predisposition to our anxiety. We ought to examine how our beliefs about self, other, and God influence our current problems. However, we explore these historical facets not because they answer the “why” question but because they help us understand “how” we function and whether we want to alter some of these shaping influences.
An Alternative Approach?
I’ve just tipped my hand in the last point. How is a better question. Finding out how a particular feature (belief, habit, experience, perception, biological process, etc.) influences current life and how a person might respond to or engage differently over a problematic emotional expression is more likely to bear good fruit. Consider these examples:
- How does your history with pornography and secret shame influence your seeking accountability from your other men in the church?
- How do you react to trauma triggers and what different responses to triggers might you want to practice?
- How do you want to think about or assess your unwanted sexual desires and feelings?
So, asking why we do what we do or why we are the way we are is interesting but not always the most helpful question from a counselor. Instead, explore your perceptions, reactions, thoughts about what is happening and explore how you might come to feel, think, or engage the problem from a different perspective or with a different goal in mind.
Disagreeing in public? Are there some best practices?
I’ve written a post over at our Biblical Seminary faculty blog about the art of disagreeing with others in public. By public I mean the kinds of conversations that take place in face-to-face with an opponent, discussions of a thinker’s position in a classroom, or the kind that take place on Internet sites (e.g., blogs like this, news sites, etc.).
Check out my 5 tips to more loving disagreements. Try it out with your next conflict with a friend or family member.
Filed under Christianity, conflicts, counseling skills, Doctrine/Theology
Global Trauma Recovery Institute Launched! Dr. Langberg Joins Biblical Faculty
It is my pleasure to announce that I and Biblical Seminary are the recipient of a sizeable grant to launch our new Global Trauma Recovery Institute–training for lay and professional recovery experts in the US and around the world. The grant (from an anonymous donor and the American Bible Society) funds the Seminary’s collaborative program with ABS to provide deeper training for those active in both trauma recovery efforts in the US or in training local facilitators in east/central Africa.
Why collaborate with a bible society?
ABS is involved in a trauma healing/scripture engagement project, focused in Africa but with other works going on around the world. This project has been under the work of ABS’ She’s My Sister initiative in the Congo. The bible societies were founded on bringing scripture to bear on the current issues of the time–specifically slavery. So, it make sense that ABS is interested in helping traumatized individuals recover from wounds by showing how God cares and is active in their recovery. Through connections with a few of my students, I and Diane Langberg have become co-chairs of the advisory council to the above-named initiative.
What does this mean for Biblical?
The generous grant will enable Biblical to do the following
- Commission a research study of the psycho-social impact of trauma in the African context
- in collaboration with Wheaton College’s Humanitarian Disaster Institute
- WHY? We need better understanding of the scope of the problem and what locally led interventions will be the most effective (both in terms of success and sustainability)
- Develop introductory and advanced global trauma recovery courses that enable MA and postgraduate students to develop specialization in training local trauma recovery facilitators here and around the world
- These courses will be delivered in a hybrid format starting late 2012; delivered in hybrid system (on-line and in-person)
- Mental health continuing education credit will be possible
- A hands-on practical experience under the direction myself and Dr. Langberg will be the capstone experience for students who complete the entire training
- Likely 2013 in an African context
- A website providing free and homestudy CE materials for those unable to come to the Philadelphia area
- Consultation groups formed for those seeking help with cases and projects in domestic and international trauma recovery
How is Dr. Langberg involved?
Dr. Diane Langberg is the leading Christian psychologist with expertise in trauma recovery. Her teaching has taken her to South America, the Caribbean, Africa, Asia, and Europe. Her books on sexual abuse remain popular with both clinicians and victims. She joins Biblical Seminary as a Clinical Faculty member (clinical faculty are practitioners who also lecture and train) and will have a leadership role in the shaping and delivery of the curriculum and trainings. It is safe to say that the counseling department has been most influenced by Dr. Langberg’s training and supervision.
How can I find out about these courses and consultation groups?
Until we launch the institute website, the best way to keep yourself informed is to do one of the following: subscribe to this blog where I will be posting updates; keep checking with www.biblical.edu for more information, or email me at pmonroeATbiblicalDOTedu and I will put your name on a growing list of those who want to be on our mailing list.
Sexual abuse in the church–post on the Biblical Seminary blog
I have a new post on the faculty blog over at www.biblical.edu. You can read it here. When any church faces the sad and grievous reality of abuse within their own community, leaders must respond. If not prepared, leaders may make decisions based on knee-jerk reactions rather than a set of previously discussed core values.
Check out the tale of two church committees (my original but discarded title of the blog).
Related articles
- Is your church prepared to handle an abuse allegation? (wisecounsel.wordpress.com)
- Ministry to Sex Offenders? post on www.biblical.edu blog site (wisecounsel.wordpress.com)
Filed under Abuse, Christianity, counseling skills
Taunting your Abuser?
Is it ever right to taunt your abuser? Is it Godly?
[WARNING: This is a thought experiment…not a recommendation!]
My wife is working on some presentations she’ll be making on the book of Habakkuk and so we have been looking at the book and talking about some of the difficulties in the text (She’s far more insightful on these things than I am!). The 2nd chapter contains a taunt against the oppressor/abuser Babylon. God is having a conversation with Habakkuk and the short version goes like this:
Habakkuk: Why are you allowing all this sin among your people? Do something!
God: I will. I’m sending Babylon and they will carry Judah off.
Habakkuk: Um…God…Babylon? Really? You do know they are like the most heathen people? You’re going to use the worst group of people in the world to judge us? You know we’re not THAT bad?
God: Yup. I’m going to do something that blows you away. I’m up to something you can’t even imagine. I know that Babylon is proud. And here are the taunts you and everyone else is going to throw at them when I judge them.
At this point God appears to give them words to use when the time comes. Consider 2:15-16
Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors, pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies. You will be filled with shame instead of glory. Now it is your turn! Drink and be exposed. The cup from the Lord’s right hand is coming around to you, and disgrace will cover your glory.
It would appear that God has no problem taunting humans in their rebellion and depravity. When God taunts, he is speaking truth. When we speak truth, along with God, about unrighteousness then maybe such a taunt is a possibility:
You’ve abused me but just you wait. God is in heaven above. He sees and he will judge. You will face the consequences of what you have done, either in this life or at the last day. There will be justice!
Just an Old Testament thing?
Are taunts only in the OT? Does Jesus do away with them when he tells us to love our enemies? Apparently loving one’s enemies does not mean not speaking a taunt. Notice that Luke records Jesus making ten different “woe to you” taunts against religious leaders and other unbelieving/arrogant people. Can Jesus be failing the second greatest commandment?
Clearly the taunts in the OT or Jesus’ curses of unbelieving religious leaders are not normative. We are not called to do this. But…maybe their existence does a couple of things for us.
- Give Godly words for the private and possibly public comments made by victims of abuse (note: these words do not approve of revenge, bitterness, or other ungodly motivations. But desire for justice is a good and Godly desire and should be expressed!)
- Allow others to validate victims’ experience of injustice without pressing for a quick Romans 8:28 response
A word of caution
Habakkuk 2 ends with a postscript to the 5 taunt songs against Babylon.
But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him
Judah was guilty of injustice (1:3). They did not have clean hands. They were not innocent. God did give them words of taunt to use against Babylon. Yet, before God they needed to be silent and humble. The cup of wrath that Babylon would drink is passed over God’s people–not because of their innocence but because of God’s providential love. Christ drinks to the dregs that cup of wrath in our stead. He gives us a better cup to drink. It is far too easy to consider ourselves innocent and our enemies guilty. We ought to stand in silence and awe because we have not been treated as we rightly deserve.
Is your church prepared to handle an abuse allegation?
I’ve posted a blog for our Seminary’s faculty blog this morning. You can read it here. In it I give a few initial directions for churches seeking to prepare for the nightmare of an abuse allegation against a church member or leader. While these directions are very slim, they at least get congregations moving in the right direction. When we wait to decide how to act in a crisis situation, we are less likely to make good decisions. We may make decisions based on expediency, based on utility, or even based on quieting the problem (much like how the Catholic church handled their abuse cases).
For those wanting much more advice for church communities, consider taking our summer course on the subject: Preventing and Responding to Abuse in the Church.
Filed under Abuse, christian counseling, Christianity, counseling
Summer counseling courses announced!
Biblical is offering 2 fantastic summer counseling courses for your consideration. In both classes, you will walk away with practical tools! Both classes are hybrid (meaning you have both online and in person portions) and can be taken for 1 or 2 credits or for continuing education. Click the attached PDF for more details: BIB-0112-BFINAL. The classes are:
One Session Coaching: Action Focused Change
Taught by Pam Smith, VP for Student Advancement and Coach
When? July 6-7 at Biblical Seminary: Who should take the course? Counselors and church leaders.
Abuse in the Church: Biblical, Legal, & Counseling Perspectives
Taught by my self and Boz Tchividjian (Liberty Law School, founder of GRACE, and a former child abuse prosecutor)
When? July 20-21 (at BranchCreek Church, Harleysville, PA) Who should take this course? Anyone who wants to see the church a safer place. Breakout sessions will focus on counselors and also church leaders.
Both courses are expected to fill up fast given their practical focus. Sign up ASAP by contacting either,
- Patsy Byrd (for new students): pbyrd@biblical.edu or 800.235.4021, x106
- Karen Mehlbaum (for returning students or CE participants): kmehlbaum@biblical.edu or 800.235.4021, x111
Define peace? Define Joy?
There are certain words that are used within christian circles meant to communicate a particular mindset or way of living. Peace, joy, trust, love, faith are just a few of these kinds of words. We all know what we mean by these words, right? Or do we?
Consider “peace” for a minute. When you think of peace do you think of quietness? relaxation? calmness? Do you imagine lying in a hammock? Do you imagine total serenity?
Isaiah 26:3 says,
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Perfect peace. Is that peace on steroids? Is it possible to have this peace in the midst of a battle? When you just found out your job has been eliminated? Would such a peace look different from peace on a vacation?
Here’s a question: Does Jesus lack such “perfect peace” when he cries out from the cross, “My God, my God, Why have you forsaken me?” If you believe, as I do, that Jesus was sinless and did not cave to human frailties, you might need to re-imagine “perfect peace” and define it in such a way that you can have it and be in utter emotional agony at the same time.
So, if perfect peace is more complex, it stands to reason that joy within sorrow, trust within questions and love without feelings are all quite possible.
How would you define peace in light of the realities of suffering and abuse?
Filed under christian counseling, Christianity, counseling, love, Psychology

