Laughing at stupidity?


Here’s one more line from David Goneau’s sermon (not quoted):

Why do we laugh at Elaine’s dancing on Seinfeld or any one of the idiotic characters on The Office? Isn’t because these characters are so obviously out of step with social acceptability?

What we laugh at reveals what we value most: acceptability.

Hmm. I think he may be right. We want to make sure we do not fall out of step with what is considered acceptable. I sometimes have to turn off The Office because it is so outrageous and I can’t stand the embarrassment–even though I know it is just a show. Not sure what that says about me…

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Two ways to look at suffering


Yesterday, one of our pastors, David Goneau, preached on Acts 13 and made the following point: “Jesus’ Lordship advances through suffering.” His point was that through the book of Acts one cannot miss that the message of Christianity spread through the starter soil of opposition. Consider the cross, Stephen, Peter, Paul, James, etc.

So, there are at least two ways to look at our own suffering and hardships:

1. Not the way it is supposed to be. We rail against trauma, suffering, pain, death, hate, illness and much more because it is not the original design and we know it. Brokenness is something to be fought against; to be resisted at all cost.

2. The starter soil for our maturity. Who hasn’t had the experience of coming through a time of hardship with maturity that we wouldn’t want to give up? Haven’t we heard of those who raise children with disabilities say, “I wouldn’t have asked for this but I wouldn’t go back and change a thing.” Like some seeds that need to be frozen before they can bloom, we need certain forms of stressors to grow in maturity. (Consider the character of one who has nothing but luxury and never has to work!)

Is it hard to hold these two truthes at the same time? Yes! And followers of Jesus look for the day when their maturity will be complete and suffering will be no more–when Christ establishes his kingdom once and forever. Until then, we must try to hold on to both thoughts–to work against suffering everywhere (justice work) and yet allow what suffering we do experience to build character while we look for our relief.

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Filed under Mindfulness

Case consultation by videoconference?


For my counselor readers…how interested would you be in participating in videoconferenced case consultations with an expert in your field for the purpose of discussing client cases with that expert? Bear in mind that this kind of activity would have to meet ethical guidelines (e.g., no identifying information about any clients could be revealed, clear distinction that this is consultation and not supervision, etc.), but would you be interested? Would something like this reduce your sense of isolation?  Consider answering the following questions:

1. Would you be interested in getting consultation for some of your cases via videoconference (private video exchange with an expert, such as skype or other service)?

2. Would you still be interested if the videoconference was a group of no more than 4 (and everyone got to present something)? If it was a group of about 10 and not everyone got to present but all got to participate in the discussion)

3. Would you be willing to pay for such a consultation? 

4. If yes to above questions, how frequently would you think you might use this type of service? Monthly? Quarterly? Other?

5. Finally, what questions or concerns does this idea raise for you?

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Filed under biblical counseling, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling, counseling skills, Psychology

Be Anxious for Nothing???


Posted slides on my “Articles, Slides…” page (#13 on the list) from the talk I gave last night at Macedonia Baptist Church. Talk entitled: Be Anxious for Nothing??? Dealing with Anxiety in a Frightening World.

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Filed under Anxiety, biblical counseling, Biblical Reflection, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling

Apologies revisited and moral outrage


The matter of Michael Vick and his return to the NFL cannot be escaped–especially when you live in Philadelphia Eagle territory. Seems the media cannot get enough of him: Can he be forgiven? Is he truly sorry? Has he paid his debt? Should he get a second chance?

I care little about these matters but would like to make two observations.

1. On apologies (again). I’ve written here numerous times regarding the good and the bad about the art of apology and what one reveals about the person making said apology (use the search engine above to find them). But let me highlight one thing about Vick’s recent comments regarding his awakening to the evils of dogfighting. The following appeared in a recent USA Today,

During his interview with Brown, Vick summed up why many sports figures lie through their teeth when caught red-handed in personal or criminal scandals. They’re — what else? — terrified of losing their multimillion-dollar salaries and endorsements. “I was scared. I knew my career was in jeopardy. I knew I had an endorsement with Nike — and I knew it was going to be a big letdown. I felt the guilt and I knew I was guilty, and I knew what I had done. And, not knowing at the time that, you know, actually telling the truth may have been better than, you know, not being honest. And it backfired on me.”

Notice his answer reflects the same root problem that got him into the problem behavior–SELF. His reason for truth telling is because it would have been better for him. “What is best for me” thinking is one of humanity’s main problems.

2. Moral Outrage. Is anyone else surprised at the level of public outrage about Vick? He is not an elected official charged with leading us? He is not anything but a professional football player. Why is there so much outrage about the evils of dogfighting and so little outrage for other evils (abortion, porn use, child abuse, poverty, obesity, etc.)? Here I think NT Wright is instructive. In his book, Evil and the Justice of God(IVP, 2006), Wright suggests that most of the western world (a) ignores evil unless it hits us personally, (b) is surprised when it does, and (c) responds in “immature and dangerous ways as a result.” (p. 24). To point c he says,

Having decreed that almost all sexual activity is good and right and commendable, we are all the more shrill about the one remaining taboo, pedophilia. It’s as though all the moral indignation which ought to be spread more evenly and thoughtfully across many spheres of activity has all been funneled on to this one crime.” (p. 27)

Well, maybe we should add animal cruelty to the list of greatest evils.

He goes on to remind us,

Lashing out at something you simply know by intuition is wrong may be better than tolerating it. But it is hardly the way to build a stable moral society.” (p. 27)

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Filed under Abuse, News and politics

Cultural sensitivity or watered down


Having been in meetings yesterday and today about our next steps regarding counseling training in Rwanda, I’m wrestling with the best way to address cultural differences in whatever training we do. And specifically I’m wrestling with a particular dilemma forming in my mind:

Teach what we know about counseling NOW but be unaware of subtle but important cultural differences vs. listen, learn, and teach LATER what we know (but in culturally relevent terms)

It is not the first time that I have been asked to do something sooner rather than later with these words. “Don’t worry about the cultural relevance. We’ll tell you when something doesn’t work or our students will do the application to their own situations. If you try to be culturally sensitive, it will end up being watered down. We want our students to get the best education, something that the US would recognize.”

Why do I struggle with this request? Well, in my head it sounds like, “hey, come bring your colonialistic methods of evangelism and we’ll handle it.” I struggle with it because I know American counseling culture has significant problems with it. And, I struggle with it because I know that some students (this is a universal truth!) are really good at critical thinking while others blindly ape what we say without much thought at all. AND YET, I know that waiting until I’m culturally aware enough to teach means I wouldn’t do so for a very long time.  

So, part of my struggle is not wanting to look like a culture boob by just assuming that what I teach US students is what Rwandans would need. I suspect the answer is (a) being courageous enough to risk looking like a fool, but (b) flexible enough to change on a dime when I am aware of a disconnect.

Hmmm. I may have a problem with both.

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Filed under christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling skills, Cultural Anthropology, Psychology

The APA on identity therapy and conversion therapy


[Let me wade into something that tends to fire up lots of feelings and lead to controversy. And let me ask all to be civil. Civility seems to be the first thing that disappears when we discuss matters near and dear to our hearts. But let us be different and listen to each other rather than talk at or past each other. As James tells us, let us be quick to listen and slow to speak.]

In recent days media outlets have picked up the story of the American Psychological Association’s release of a report and declaration of their official stance on reparative or conversion therapies for individuals seeking to change their sexual orientation. You can read their press release and find their 100 page research review here. Being a member of the organization, knowing a few of the players in the research side of things, and knowing how easy it is to get caught up in debate and miss some of the finer points, I thought I might make a few comments that may not make it to the public eye.

1. Researchers are beginning to distinguish between sexual identity and orientation. This is a good thing. I dare say that the public lags far behind on this matter. Separating these two different aspects of sexuality allows for individuals to consider and interpret their sexual feelings in accord with their beliefs and NOT as how either the minority or majority of the world tells them to define themselves. This is akin to biracial people determining how they want to self-identify rather than be forced to say they are black or white.  Consider the following quote by one of the players (whom  I don’t know),

The distinction between orientation and identity (or attraction and identity as we often describe it here) is key, in my view, in order for us to understand the experience of those who say they have changed while at the same time experiencing same-sex attraction….I hope we can agree that sexual attraction patterns may be one thing while meaning making aspects may lead two people with the same attraction pattern to identity in disparate ways. (emphasis mine; from http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/EWThrockmorton/11607271/)

If I understand the relationship between identity and orientation, it would seem that one forms identity from a variety of “data” which leads to an orientation. This is true outside of sexual identity. A number of factors come together for a person to see themself in a particular way (this may include biology, family, life experiences, key “flashbulb” moments, etc) and in cementing that particular identity they develop an orientation towards the world. SO, this may explain why trying to change orientation has little positive effect. Until the person reviews, explores, and reconsiders their identity (something that happens in nearly every counselee I’ve ever worked with) and begins to practice another way of seeing self, not much is going to change in attraction and orientation. Further, what may change is one’s sense of importance (and therefore meaning) of various parts of themself. When my clients explore their identity, it is rare they come to understand that they were completely mis-perceiving their feelings or experiences. Rather, they begin to see those experiences and feelings from a different vantage point.  

2. Change. What constitutes change is still up in the air. Ask a depressed person if they have changed even if they are only 50% less depressed and they will say likely say yes. Ask someone else and they may say “no,  I’m still depressed.” In the realm of sexual orientation, however, many see orientation as all/nothing. All same sex or all opposite sex orientation. Many will tell you this is just not their particular experience. So, IF someone wanted to change their direction of sexual attraction, what standard would they use to determine if change had taken place? Would 50% change be good? Who would decide this?

There is another analogous scenario in psychology. Should psychologists provide weight loss treatment? Given that an extremely large portion of those who lose weight gain it back and more, many have felt it unethical for a psychologist to offer weight loss therapies when they know that success is extremely low. So, how long do you need to keep the weight off to make a treatment worthwhile? How much do you need to lose? Who decides?

My gut feel is that the APA is not accurate in saying that there isn’t evidence that individuals can change. There is some evidence. Not complete change, but let us not deny what is there. Neither are they accurate about their reporting of harm. Harm reports are difficult to objectify. The best research will show you that some are harmed and some are not. Instead of assuming harm, let us evaluate more closely how some are harmed and how some are helped. Just as one might do with the weight loss scenario.  

3.  APA makes an attempt to make room for the work of helping one to find congruence between faith commitments and sexual feelings. This is also a good thing. Now, just how a psychologist does this matters greatly. Does he or she evangelize here? By that I mean (a) encourage a client to choose a different faith or change it to fit one’s sexual feelings, or (b) encourage a client to deny feelings and deny the suffering one might have by choosing not to act on a desire? My personal opininon is that option c (stay neutral) does not exist and is not possible. So, where does that leave us? Informing clients of our personal positions and yet not attempting to force individuals into our view of the situation. In other words, truthful but humble without being demanding.   

This is a divisive topic. Do individuals seeking to change their sexual orientation have the right to try to do so with the help of psychologists? Is change possible? Desirable? Damaging? And of course in trying to answer these questions you have a number of players on each side–each reading the “evidence” the way they would like to see it. You have those who have personal experiences in one direction or another. You have those with political or philosophical agendas. And, on top of that, you have media players interested in creating controversy where they can. I observed this last one myself where a local talk show host did his level best to create differences between two parties that weren’t disagreeing with each other as much he wanted them to.

So, what do you make of the difference between identity and orientation? Is it meaningful? How do we speak of change? Can we admit that it happens for some and not for others no matter our personal opinion whether change is good or not? And finally, can we avoid the “what if…” tendency in our conversations so that we deal with what is happening and not what we fear might happen?

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Filed under APA, Christianity, counseling science, ethics, homosexuality, Psychology, sexual identity, sexuality, Uncategorized

Are you a genetic fatalist?


Definition of a genetic fatalist: If I have genetic markers for _____, then I will have _____ problem.

Maybe this doesn’t happen to you but I find that when I have conversations about a wide variety of counseling related issues, they end up hitting upon the genetic question? Whether we are discussing anxiety, depression, alcoholism, sexual identity or similar concerns, I can count on being asked,

“Do you think it is genetic?”

The questioner seems to think that if the answer is “Yes,” then the individual in question has no responsibility for the situation–or no control over what is taking place. “If my alcoholism is genetic then it wasn’t my fault.” “If my son’s sexual identity confusion is genetic then he can’t do anything about it.”

Here’s what I want to say to most of these questions:

1. Probably but we don’t really know. There are lots of researchers trying to discover genetic markers and how our genes express themselves. Some we understand really well (like eye and hair color) and others we understand less well.

But even if tomorrow we discover that your husband’s OCD is genetically based, what does that mean? Is he forever trapped in acting on his OCD?

2. Thinking about genes this way doesn’t really help us right now. We all have genetic markers for various cancers and diseases but not all of us contract the problems. Women may have markers for breast cancer but never have the disease. How can that be? It can be that way because disease states or mental health matters are multifactorial in their origination. There may be genetic markers as well as environmental insults as well as psychological stressors that all work together to either protect from the disease or cause it to get started.

So, are you a genetic fatalist? Do you give your deciding vote to genetic markers when considering responsibility and control regarding behavioral issues, mental health problems, personality?

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Filed under christian psychology, counseling, News and politics, personality, Psychology

credentialing rant


Having spent most of yesterday trying to complete an on-line application to become an authorized, in-network provider for an insurance company, I’m fighting to remember why I started down this path.

Yes, I absolutely know it benefits clients in that they do not have to pay my entire fee out of pocket and only hope to get some money back later (if they have an out-of-network benefit). They merely have to pay a co-pay and so counseling is an affordable option.

But, being a selfish individual I’m thinking mostly about my own interests at this moment. Let me count the ways this process irritates me:

1. Collecting all my old information (addresses for pre and post docs and all education back to undergrad). Don’t they know that happened eons ago?

2. Repetitive entries. I think I entered my fax number at least 20 times.

3. Tax ids, SS ids, NPIs, etc. Numbers to find and enter correctly. I’m ready for the iris scan and probe now. My underwear size is…

4. And the real irritation is…(the previous ones really aren’t the issue as the on-line application wasn’t so bad–just time consuming)…I know that if I’m approved I get the following welcome gifts

  •  
    • Reduced income per hour
    • Delayed income (improperly rejected claims, delayed claims, claims sent to the wrong address, etc.)
    • More paperwork to fill out to beg for sessions

Whine, whine, whine. It’s all about me. So much for caring for my clients’ best interests…

Okay. I’m better now. This is a good thing and one bonus is the company collecting the information will bank it so that I can use it in the future for other insurance companies should I so choose.

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Filed under christian psychology, Psychology

Happenings


I’m passing on a couple of items from my schedule…

1. Speaking. I’ll be speaking at Macedonia Baptist Church (Norristown, PA) on the next two Wednesdays (8/12 and 8/19) for their Summer Bible Conference (theme: Mental Health Awareness). This week will be on Sexual Addiction and the 19th will be on the topic of Anxiety.

2. School. We start late this year on 9/14. For those interested in our course offerings, check out Biblical’s site for course listings. Note that we have entry level, advanced, and post-MA courses on Monday nights. I’m teaching an on-line course (Social & Cultural Foundations of Counseling) and two face to face classes (Counseling & Physiology, Psychological Assessment). Should be fun!

3. Conference 1. The AACCis hosting it’s World Conference in Nashville Sept. 16-19. My colleague, Bryan Maier, and myself will be speaking there. On the 16th, Diane Langberg and myself will be presenting a 3 hour preconference workshop about addressing the problem of pastoral sexual abuse. Later in the week, I’ll be lecturing on the use of the Bible with trauma clients.  If you like zooy places, then come as that is the best description I have for the Opryland Hotel.

4. Conference 2. November 13-15 is the annual CCEF conference, entitled, Sex Matters. I’ll be presenting on the 14th, “When Sex in Marriage Doesn’t Work.”

5. Newly published. The latest issue of the Journal of Psychology & Christianity(v. 28:2) is just out on the topic of Theophostic Prayer Ministry and related issues. I and my George Schwab have an article in that edition: “God as healer: A Closer Look at Biblical Images of Inner Healing.” Plus, a number of the other articles site previous work that Bryan Maier and I did a few years ago where we critiqued TPM’s theological bases. 

6. In the works. I’ve just completed work on a booklet, “Sexual Addiction: When is Residential Treatment an Option?” It is intended to be an ebooklet published by a local ministry. We are researching the best way to publish such a booklet for those caught in the trap of an addiction. If any of you have any great ideas for the best way to get that out on the Internet (including issues around document delivery, sales, and pricing), I’d love to hear about it.

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Filed under "phil monroe", Anxiety, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling, counseling skills, sexual addiction, teaching counseling