A story of healing?


I don’t know about you but I’m usually suspicious of the stories of healing told in the media. Its not that I believe God doesn’t heal–I do. I get suspicious of the reasons why the person is telling it to the media. But, here’s one I heard recently on Terry Gross’s Fresh Air. This one sounds authentic because it doesn’t fit the “happily ever after” story we like to write. Listen here to her interview with Reynolds Price. 

Mr. Price (70 something) is an author of many books including a recent one called, Letters to a Godchild. Terry asked him about a vision he had of Jesus healing him. Mr. Price puts the following story in this context: he reports having only 2 experiences of visions and 1 auditory word from God. In short here is the story of a vision he had in 1984.  He had been diagnosed with an inoperable tumor in his spine and given about 18 months to live. He was losing the use of his legs and the radiation treatments he was to undergo would likely make him a paraplegic (which it did). Just prior to his radiation treatment he had a vision that he was resting beside the Sea of Galilee. He was wearing normal clothes but there were men lounging around him in “Jesus suits.” One came over and he recognized him as Jesus. Jesus beckoned him to come into the water, which he did. Then Jesus cupped water and poured it over the scar or spot where the tumor was. Jesus spoke these words to him: “Your sins are forgiven.” Mr. Price reports that wasn’t exactly what he wanted to hear so he asked Jesus, “Will I be healed too.” Jesus says something like, “that too.” And that ended the vision. He went on with the treatment, did lose the use of his legs and the next year was touch and go. 

Terry asked Mr. Price what he thought about the healing vision since he wasn’t really healed. Mr. Price seems to think otherwise.

This sounds so much like a true vision. God heals in his own way but it may not be what we would expect. And true to form in the New Testament, God is more concerned with healing our sinful nature first. His vision is so much more believable than the “everything worked out just as I wanted it to” version that is popularly told.

One other story. In the darkest hour of his cancer, Mr. Price remembers wondering out loud how much more he had to endure. He heard an audible, “More.” And indeed, he suffered much more before getting healthy again.

Again, sounds authentic.  We have fantasies about God removing our suffering. Instead, he often sustains us and is with us through that dark hour. For some, he does remove them from the disease. Others, he does not. But, he is with them.

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Drinking in color


It’s mid-November and the leaves here in Philadelphia are about the best I’ve ever seen. Late for sure, but quite good. This past weekend I got to walk on a quiet country road just south of Peace Valley Park. Its about the closest I can get to Vermont scene I grew up with. Despite the rain, the leaves were just about perfect–Maples with red-tipped leaves and hints of orange and green. The dark sky and tree trunks enhanced the brightness of the leaves.

A feast for my eyes.

Despite the 35 degrees, the color warmed me. While I do like the vistas to see many trees at one time, looking at a single colorful tree in a dark wood is even more appealing. And then my thoughts turned to God’s creative genius to create hardwoods that turn these colors for the purpose of giving me joy (Not too egocentric, huh?).

Did you ever think of that? What things has God placed around you that are there for the only purpose of giving you pleasure? A dog or cat? A tree? A fast moving brook?

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Stymied


If you have ever met with a couple in conflict (either together or separate), you immediately realize how difficult it is to know the truth about what happened and who did what first. Come to think of it, that is true with sibling fights as well. Each party has their own opinion of what they did and did not do. They also have a very strong opinion as to how the conflict began and why their spouse is the bigger problem. It can drive you crazy if you try to sort out who did what.

This problem exists with conflicting people groups as well. Case in point: Rwanda. We’re all familiar that a genocide tgook place there in 1994. The minority Tutsis and the majority Hutus. We’d like to say one side was the victim and the other the offender. But it is not that clear, especially since both parties have a history of aggressing against the other.

Yesterday, I read a commentary by Paul Rusesabagina (the man portrayed in Hotel Rwanda) who charges the Tutsi led government, led by President Paul Kagame, with systematic destruction of the Hutu people by imprisoning them as genocide suspects–without care for the truth. On the other side, the government charges Rusesabagina with stirring up ethnic hatred.

Who do you believe?

When you are stymied (because you aren’t there to see for yourself) what happens to you? For me, the temptation is to turn my back and throw my hands up in the air–to give up and ignore the problem, laying blame at both feet.

How do we overcome being stymied? As a therapist I attempt to get both parties to look only at themselves. But that goes against our nature, whether we are 5 or 55 years old. 

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Upcoming social networking and conversation spot for Christians


Yesterday, our faculty listened to a presentation by Lance Ford, founder and director of www.shapevine.com. This organization provides opportunities to study and dialog with a number of missional authors (e.g., Reggie McNeal, Ed Stetzer, Leonard Sweet, Alan Hirsch, Sally Morganthaler, etc.) in small groups. Using flash technology and webcams, they have created a site where one can read and/or watch authors discuss their material and then engage in threaded discussion and live video conferencing. They haven’t quite gone public but have been in beta-testing for the last 6 months and are ready to go in just a few weeks.

Lance started us off with a Dallas Willard quote: The failure to make disciples is the elephant in the church. (or something like that) He noted that church leaders sometimes want to build the church, and then make disciples. He thinks this is backwards. If you make disciples, they will evolve into a church. But if you do it in reverse, you create consumers who do not look much different than non-Christians. Transformation may not take place.

Further, preaching doesn’t make disciples. Rather, we need 1:1, or close to it if we are going to build disciples ready to make more disciples.

I can see the value of this sort of site for those isolated and unable to find local connections. Imagine using this technology to connect overworked church planters, missionaries, and lay folk around the world.  

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Do we really know what makes us happy?


My wife raised this question after listening to a local radio talk show. In the show, there was a discussion about a family with a severely developmentally disabled child. The parents would never choose to have a disabled child but talked about how their disabled child had greatly enriched the entire family, including the other siblings. They wouldn’t have it any other way at this point.

Some friends of mine told me recently that their grown child complimented them on not giving them all the toys (cell phones, cars, clothes, etc.) their peers had. In their son’s eyes, he knew something about life and about being happy that his peers knew nothing of.

What do you imagine would make you happy? Did you ever get it and did it last? Consider the lottery winners who end up destroying relationships and even end up broke. Better to be poor and content…

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Good summaries of CCEF’s conference on anxiety


For those unable to attend this conference but still wanting to know what was said there, check out Jason’s blog here for excellent summaries of the main sessions and electives (with more promised). Jason directs a counseling center in NC and he and his wife are transracial adoptive parents. Together they represented Legacy Child at the conference.

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Running Scared: the book


As a final comment on this past weekend’s CCEF conference, I want to briefly mention Ed Welch’s new book, Running Scared: Fear, worry, and the God of Rest (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2007). All conference attendees got a free copy. Here are a couple of my observations about the book:

1. It is 30 chapters. You don’t have to read them in a linear fashion although they do build on each other. They have a meditative/reflective nature to them.
2. The book is really about worry. If you struggle with panic attacks, you won’t find helpful solutions. In fact, he does a brief put down of the cognitive-behavioral techniques. On the one hand, he is right that these don’t ultimately give us peace, on the other hand–sometimes they help us get through a moment.
3. He does a nice job surveying the kinds of worries that overtake us and the common responses (control, perfectionism, anger, stress, depression, overprotection, etc.)
4. What does your fear say? Ed considers a few of the common messages (e.g., I am in danger, I am vulnerable, I need and might not get…). He also points to the overemphasis of the future in all worry. Worriers, he says, live in the future (and see it in minute gory detail). Seldom does our worry come true as we thought and so much of our worry is that of false prophets–proclaiming something as nearly already happened that only is a possibility.
5. The book is pastoral. I hear Ed’s voice in this as soft and knowing. I think this book reads like his voice more than any other of his works. He reminds us that Jesus speaks tenderly when he calls us to not fear. He talks to us like a shepherd would talk to a little lamb.
6. Yes, God tests our faith and yet he is also very generous. In order for us to be rescued from danger, there has to be danger. He is near. He hears. He tests us. He gives us grace for today. He delivers (ch. 9).
7. The rest of the book details how we deal with fears about money, what people think of us, about death, pain, and punishment, and ends with a focus on “peace be with you.”

All in all, a good read for those wanting to meditate on something other than their own fears. This is especially a good read on those feeling guilty and judged because of their fear and lack of faith. You get a picture of a very generous God who knows your fear and is near. If you are looking for very practical steps (what do I do this afternoon about…) you probably won’t get ready answers, though I think you could do the work to apply some of the principles to your daily life.

Good book Ed.

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When you just can’t wait for something


How long has it been since you found yourself unable to wait for tomorrow to come? As kids, we counted the days to Christmas, to the end of the school year (now those of us who are parents count the days until they go back). I got to thinking about this as I watched my son last night. We got home late and it was time for bed. But he had gotten a CD from a friend and he really wanted to listen to it. It was hard for him to accept that since some people were already sleeping, he couldn’t listen to the CD until morning. Fast forward to 6 am this morning when I’m telling him to wait a bit longer before playing it. It was all he could do to wait. He could think of nothing else until he played it.

When was the last time you felt the same way about meeting with God, reading his Word, getting to heaven? If kingdom members are to be like children, then do we remind ourselves that Christmas (heaven) is just around the corner. Do we meditate on this fact and keep it fresh in our minds? While my longing for heaven has increased with age, I must admit I don’t often jump for joy on Sunday mornings or just before bible readings. I spend far too much time meditating about the next deadline, the next project, the next problem to solve.

Lord, help me meditate on better things.

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When things don’t go as you plan


I’m not at the conference today. Just returned from taking my youngest to the doctor to see about a scratched cornea (probably not). So, missing today’s sessions. Not part of the plan. I was interested in hearing what answers Ed Welch would have for us anxious and fretting people. Also wanted to catch Winston Smith’s talk entitle, “Go away, I need you.” The good news is that these talks will be available for purchase later.

So, how long does it take you to get over a disappointment. As disappointments go, this isn’t all that significant. Yeah, I’m missing some good chats with old friends and new acquaintances. But, really, its not a big deal. But when it is a bigger deal, do you pout? This morning, my son had to come very close to missing out on a suburban train trip to take his grandmother back to Amtrak. For about 15 minutes he made groaning noises. I don’t think I do that much anymore, but I can relate to the feeling none-the-less.

How about you? Do you take long to get over a disappointment? Or are you a “lecture yourself” and move on type? Yesterday, Paul Tripp talked about how we shape our identities to our dreams. When dreams die, we sometimes lose our sense of self. Maybe this is why we hang on to them and resist other dreams that may be more attainable…

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Women, victimization, & fear


Sarah Lipp (HarvestUSA, Chattanooga, TN office) gave a presentation with the above title. Her focus: What is the experience of women victimized by men; How do such women relate to God as a male being? She started us out with a review of the kinds of victimization experienced (abuse of all kinds (including nagging for sex and/or punishment for not being willing to give more), dehumanization, oppression rooted in the inherent power in masculinity, distortion of the image of God that of females (being treated as only sexual or only trouble). She gave just a couple of stats from the CDC. 18% of women are raped in their lifetime. 51% have been abused. Of those raped, 83% are raped prior to age 25 and 54% before age 18.

So, how do we help?

1. Affirmation. Permission to feel upset and victimized. What happened was wrong. She needs permission to define what happened and own it (name it for what it is). Educate about the patterns and symptoms of past abuse as they impact her life now. Educate on how abuse effects the brain (especially the amygdala’s work in generalizing emotions from the past to present situations).  Yes, the brain is plastic and can be changed but it may be that triggers remain. Teach on PTSD symptoms (re-experiencing, avoidance tendencies, increased arousal). Teach that she is not alone but 40 million others also fit these criteria.
2. Explore how this impacts her experience of her earthly father and males in general (and as a result God). What reactions does she have when she thinks of words such as man/men, daddy, father, husband, etc. What did she learn about herself and men from her family, from her community, from her church, her culture? What has she come to believe? Sarah says that the danger for counselors is to try to fix it. Tell them to think differently. Have compassion
3. Healing gender images. One of the images God gives of himself is female. Sarah isn’t arguing for a feminine God. However, she lists Mt 23:37, Is 51:12, Psalm 131; Acts 9:31; 1 Cor. 1; Isaiah 66:13 as images of the feminine side of God. God images himself in male AND female. Therefore, Sarah argues for starting with (not stopping with) some of the female images of God to see that he cares for her desires and needs as well. God does give maternal pictures of himself and these may be good places to start. To do this, you may have to explore what images she has of women, mothers, feminine. Healthy relationships with same sex members will help here. Once here, you will also need to heal the masculine images of the world and of God. Male is redeemable. This may take a lifetime of relationships with men, 1 at a time.
4. Grief & Redemption. Now that she is not living in denial, she will begin to grieve dashed or unfulfilled desires.  Sitting with the realization of the loss of love and men and women are fallen. This moves us to the possibility of redemption and the transforming power of Christ in men.
5. Dealing with the here and now. How does she discern her past from present. Begin re-writing her story and rewriting facts and feelings from her present perspective. This re-writing actually does change the brain and reduce traumatic fear. Counselor and counselee co-construct a new narrative and speak back into flashbacks. Her re-written story speaks into those flashbacks and in doing so mentally pictures something different. She is free to walk away from that flashback.
6.  Coping with past in constructive ways. Address the destructive means. Yes, repentance necessary but be aware of the body’s impact (look up info on the Endorphin Compensation Hypothesis (ECH) as why many become addicts). Work to avoid seeing destructive patterns as only sin or only body.

Healing must also include faithfully embracing Christ and her vulnerability as a woman.

Suggested reading: Brenda Hunter’s, In the Company of Women; Louis Cozolino’s, The Neuroscience of human relationships.  

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