December 4, 2007 · 12:02 pm

Parent-teacher conferences and being graded as a parent


Our annual parent-teacher conferences took place this morning. We met with with our children’s teacher to get their first quarter grades and discussed pertinent matters. Every time we do this I find myself holding my breath, wondering what I’ll hear. There’s a part of me that believes I’m getting graded as well or I’ve just been sent to the Principal’s office.

What external things do you use to assess your “grade; your identity?” Your kids behavior in public? Your job title or pay? Your gpa? If we’re honest, we use things like this to determine our success or failure in life. Many of  these things we have little control over and yet we allow them to “determine” what we think and feel about ourselves.

By the way, I feel good about myself because both kids made honor-roll.

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December 3, 2007 · 3:27 pm

Ebola outbreak in Uganda


Our church and World Harvest Mission (started by our founding pastor many years ago) have connections to mission work in Bundibugyo, Uganda. The medical team there is in the middle of an Ebola outbreak and some of their staff are sick with the disease. The team has sent the non-medical staff and children away for safekeeping but the missionary docs may have been exposed to the illness or are at least at risk of it.

Consider praying for the team each day for the next 3 weeks as they labor to control the disease and treat those suffering. It is very deadly. Here’s a link to a blog by one of the doctors. You can read and pray specifically for their needs. http://www.paradoxuganda.blogspot.com/

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November 29, 2007 · 5:57 am

Greed and illicit sex: Would you treat them as equals?


Our visiting professor, Richard Smith, (and my good friend) had us faculty meditate on Paul’s teaching regarding greed. He had us read Col 3:5-7 and Eph 5:3-5. In both passages Paul puts both greed and sex on the same footing: they are both forms of idolatry.

He asked us to consider how greed might infiltrate our lives (yes, even impoverished seminary profs). Do we, like our culture, consider greed a petty vice or perverse? Would we be inclined to use church discipline when greed appears (1 Cor. 5:9-11 suggests so)?

What is the line between justice and demand; between security and self protectionism?  I raised a concept that I heard from a development officer of a local nonprofit. He talked about nonprofit greed. We fantasize and imagine security where we no longer have to ask for money or worry about next year’s budget. Ever had that fantasy? I do. 

By the way, I suspect this devotional work we have been doing of late is rather rare for faculty. We faculty are already arrived and we make decisions on the proper way to teach and the proper way to govern. But how many faculty meetings give ample time to applying biblical truth to their own lives. Its not normal and we tend to slide back into intellectual discussions…

Okay, now that I’ve felt pride for our faculty, I better go and repent of this vice 🙂

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November 28, 2007 · 4:57 pm

Watching student videos


Am grading student videos of their first counseling experience in their very first class. Here are two reflections

1. I’m amazed at the depth of problems their counselees choose to bring up right away. These are people who know they are being videotaped for a class project and though only the grader and the student watch it, it is still taped. And yet, they tell about very personal matters. I’m blessed to be able to hear their life struggle and the student is blessed to hear it as well. I can’t say that I would talk about such deep matters if I were asked to be a counselee for a beginning student.

2. First year counselors do pretty well when it comes to gently attending to their clients and exuding kindness, empathy, and compassion. What is harder is for them to identify and discuss subtle and/or painful emotions expressed by the client. Instead they go for more data from the client. Get more history, more details and maybe it will be better. I think we do this when we listen to our friends. We provide pithy advice, we want to know more details, or worse–we talk about ourselves. My students know not to talk about themselves but yet they struggle to identify and repeat painful emotions.

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November 27, 2007 · 11:27 am

Haggai writes for today


Have you spent much time in this short book? You can find it just before the end of the Old Testament, right after Zephaniah and just before Zechariah. Blink, and you miss this 38 verse book altogether.

My friend Doug preached on chapter 2 this past Sunday. Here are some of the key points of this chapter:

1. Nostalgia for the “good ole glory days” is nothing new but still misses the One who is glorious. Instead of bemoaning the shrinking American church, let’s remember  that God’s glory and power will make his church more glorious than we could ever imagine. God says don’t be sad over the poorness of human efforts but remember that God owns everything and there will come a day when His glory bring peace and power.

2. How quickly we forget what God calls us to and begin to work for our own goals. We should not be surprised when our efforts are fruitless. In Haggai the people are building their own paneled houses (chapter 1) have heard from God but have also quickly lost focus. Isn’t this true of us today. We hear from the Lord, catch his vision, start his work, but then become sidetracked by all sorts of distractions. Such is our life today too.

3. But God in his mercy continues to bless us beyond measure because of his own faithfulness to his own children. Despite our nothingness, he makes us a signet ring: evidence to us and others of the pledge God has made to us and will bring about. Why? Was it because we were special? No. Because he loved us. Do we sit idly by until he carries out his promise? No. We recommit ourselves over and over to build on the foundation he has already built.

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November 26, 2007 · 4:33 pm

New banner wanted


I’m tired a my current banner pic and am seeking a new one. I thought of making a collage of my worlds (wife, kids, school, outdoors, books, etc.) but that is beyond my talents. So, I’m seeking something (not copyrighted or something I can have permission to use) that would be a bit more fitting than my current banner picture.

Any ideas.  

FYI, that picture is a shot from the house we lived in Southern Nova Scotia.

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November 26, 2007 · 11:02 am

Sinner fantasies about righteousness


Ever entertain fantasies of moral uprightness in the face of evil?

I suspect we do so because we are trying to quell our own feelings of guilt…

On our trip to CT this week we listened to The Hundred Dresses, by Eleanor Estes. In the story many children make fun of a Polish immigrant child with a funny last name and only one faded blue dress. In a rare interchange with her peers she tells them that she has 100 dresses at home. Many of the girls made fun of her by asking her all about these dresses. One girl didn’t join in with the teasing but did idolize one who did. Later in the story, something happens to make this girl realize her silent participation was tantamount to teasing. But, the Polish girl disappears before she can apologize.

How does this chagrined girl respond? She fantasizes about her standing up to her teasing peers with a display of righteous indignation. She would be the hero to protect this poor defenseless child. She imagines herself lecturing the class and calling them to stop their mean-spirited behavior.

Funny how we work to appease our own guilt. We replay past incidents to get them to come out right–to turn our misdeeds into acts of righteousness.

I wonder if this behavior helps us do the right thing the next time. I doubt it…

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November 21, 2007 · 1:35 pm

Body image, eating disorders, and Thanksgiving


Just before most Americans binge tomorrow I want to post a couple of thoughts about the crazy, insane American way of dealing with food. We all should be thin with perfectly proportioned bodies and yet we want to indulge in our supersize me world. What do we end up with? Overweight adults and children who hate themselves for not being like the people they see on TV.

Consider a few statistics presented in a recent staff meeting. 9% of 9 year olds have used oral laxatives to lose weight. 40% of 9-10 year olds describe themselves as fat. 50% of middle school girls are on a diet (or have been recently) and also report feeling better about themselves because of it.

Want to do something about this crazy culture?

1. Eat healthy and enjoy food without making comments that others here (comments about weight, fat, who is eating too much or too little). Remember, God made food for your enjoyment.
2. Choose appropriate portions. Don’t skimp to send a message or to be prideful. Don’t overindulge just because you can and sit in judgment because you don’t like your shape.
3. Separate your value from your shape and looks.
4. If you have kids, show them (and discuss) some of the movies on this website by Dove which shows how much the beauty industry modifies photos to glamourize looks that are impossible even for the models: http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/inside_campaign.asp
5. Remember to be thankful for God’s good gifts to you this year.

See you in a few days.

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November 20, 2007 · 1:38 pm

Ask your pastor this question: Who disciples you?


Recently I’ve taken to asking my pastor clients this question: Who disciples you?

Typical responses? “Hmmm. I’ll have to think about that…don’t know…nobody, I guess…does —– count (nationally-known preacher they listen to or read on a regular basis)” I used to ask, “Where do you feed spiritually?” However, the discipleship question moves beyond that of being fed to being discipled and mentored.

Our shepherds are also sheep like us. They need discipleship and mentoring. One wonders if ministeriums could be resuscitated to provide true discipleship.

I’m writing a piece about pastors and their need for care. One study found that while a goodly number of pastors would be open to getting counseling, most do not think their stresses and needs reach a level where counseling is needed (It could be useful but I don’t think my problems are that big). Another study found that most pastors do not have close relationships with others outside their spouse.

If this is true, then most of our pastors are without any discipleship. Is it any wonder then that problems like pornography and other misconduct are frequent among pastors?

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November 19, 2007 · 1:13 pm

The revolving door of anxiety


This weekend my wife gave me an illustration for anxiety and worry. She had been worrying about one of our children. She said that this worry is like being stuck in a revolving door. She kept going around and around and couldn’t stop the thought pattern.

Later, she said that I had said something that was like sticking my foot in the door so it would stop spinning and let her out. That’s nice because she’s probably used to me just spinning the door a little faster.

Do you ever get stuck in the revolving door of anxiety or depression? Who gets you out?   

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