Sebarenzi on reconciliation


Am just finishing up Joseph Sebarenzi’s God Sleeps in Rwanda: A Journey of Transformation (Atria Books, 2009). Joseph, A Tutsi, tells his story from childhood experiences of Hutu-Tutsi violence and state-sponsored discrimination to the 1994 massacre (he was out of the country then) and meteoric rise to power where he became the speaker of the parliament and then was pushed out by the Rwandan dictator.

I’m not sure if his story is accurate (about how Kagame tried to have him killed, but I found his views on reconciliation (and the lack thereof thus far) very helpful:

Ever since the genocide, I have asked myself how the nation could heal. How could we live together again in peace? …

Reconciliation brings enemies together to confront the painful and ugly past, and to collectively devise a bright future. It brings together communities in conflict to tell the truth about all past human rights violations and to create a society where they can live in peace with one another….

Reconciliation is in many ways the hardest option, because it requires effort, humility, and patience–whereas revenge is quick and easy. Reconciliation is complicated. it cannot be reduced to retributive justice…nor to forgiveness…. Reconciliation…includes several components: acknowledgment, apology, restorative justice, empathy, reparation, and forgiveness–and several accompanying measures, namely democracy coupled with consensus, peace education, and international assistance.   pp 214-215

The author goes on to describe what he means by each of these components (and some of the weaknesses in Rwanda). He subscribes to a rather Christian view of this process. It is not merely Hutu groveling to Tutsi but both listening to each other.

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Filed under Christianity, conflicts, Forgiveness, News and politics, Repentance, Rwanda

Marriage is like…?


a box of chocolates? a roller coaster?

What analogies might you use to help illustrate the beauty and difficulty found in the marriage relationship? Yes, the Bible gives us several good ones but here I’m interested in ones that come from personal experience. I’m being asked to speak on the topic of “marriage as roller coaster”. I guess this depends on how much you like coasters…and whether the one you are riding is more like a kiddie ride or more like one designed to break your neck.

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NPR takes up the issue of Pastors who abuse


Check out the following story (including audio) about abuse by pastors. They report 1:33 women have experienced a sexual advance by pastor:

Key elements found in the researcher’s survey?

  1. Dual relationships or conflicting roles (where pastor is counselor and highest authority)
  2. Holding leaders in too much awe and that leader’s lack of accountability
  3. Isolation of communication (pastor alone in church without much oversight)
  4. Unrepresentative language that treats clergy sexual abuse as affairs rather than abuses of power

I would have liked to have heard more detail on the survey results. If anyone finds more data out there, let me know.

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Filed under Abuse, christian counseling, Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, counseling, pastors and pastoring

Your choices/experiences shape your grandchildren?


Anybody see the Nova episode on PBS last night? I caught only 15 minutes of it. Apparently it aired in 2007. Here’s a transcript of it.

The part I watched was about the impact of diet and chemical exposure on the lifespan and health two generations later.Very interesting!

Check out this little snippet:

NARRATOR: The diagram showed a significant link between generations, between the diet in one and the life expectancy of another.

OLOV BYGREN: When you think that you have found something important for the understanding of the seasons itself, you can imagine that this is something really special.

MARCUS PEMBREY: This is going to become a famous diagram, I’m convinced about that. I get so excited every time I see it. It’s just amazing. Every time I look at it, I find it really exciting. It’s fantastic.

NARRATOR: Much about these findings puzzles researchers. Why, for instance, does this effect only appear in the paternal line of inheritance? And why should famine be both harmful and beneficial, depending on the sex and age of the grandparent who experiences it?

Nonetheless, it raises a tantalizing prospect: that the impact of famine can be captured by the genes, in the egg and sperm, and that the memory of this event could be carried forward to affect grandchildren two generations later.

MARCUS PEMBREY: We are changing the view of what inheritance is. You can’t, in life, in ordinary development and living, separate out the gene from the environmental effect. They’re so intertwined.

NARRATOR: Pembrey and Bygren’s work suggests that our grandparents’ experiences effect our health. But is the effect epigenetic? With no DNA yet analyzed, Pembrey can only speculate. But in Washington state, Michael Skinner seems to have found compelling additional evidence by triggering a similar effect with commonly used pesticides. Skinner wanted to see how these chemicals would affect pregnant rats and their offspring.

Application to counseling and psychology? Do you think about the impact of your behaviors and experiences on the next generation? Do you think about your grandparents choices and experiences on your daily life? Your mood? We could easily become either fatalists (I’m controlled by others) or deniers (I’m in charge of me). But consider how trauma or suffering is passed on in family lines.

Which do you tend to be? A denier or a fatalist?

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Filed under counseling, Cultural Anthropology, Psychology

Teaching style and outcomes


My seminary, Biblical Seminary, focuses on teaching excellence when choosing new professors. We want teachers who are experts in their field but who can also teach. Hence, we had a daylong seminar yesterday about teaching adult learners. We discussed and explored a number of things (e.g., what do adult learners want, how do they best learn, the uses and limits of PowerPoint, etc.). But this one line stuck with me that I have re-written to apply to my own field:

Does how you teach counseling courses model the kind of counseling you wish your students to emulate?

For example. If humility and dialogical/interpersonal factors are big in counseling, do we teach that way or do we just do straight lecture and/or get defensive when others disagree with us?

I think we do a pretty good job with the attitudinal side of things. We try hard to model listening and humility. However, I think I still struggle with the interactive side of teaching. And here’s my defense for that struggle 🙂

1. Classes I teach tend to be higher order with complex and very specialized content (e.g., psychological testing, psychopathology, reliability, validity, research, ethics, etc. ). Some information has to be delivered by me via lecture.

2. Several of these courses last just 6 weeks. There is no time to meander and muse in these classes.

3. The emphasis on PowerPoint leads to spending inordinate time building quality slides and away from contemplating more interactive learnings.
Despite these complications I’m going to try to pay more attention to hands on learning. I want us to emulate our kind of psychological practice.

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Filed under Biblical Seminary, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling skills, Psychology

Just don’t blow it


Having spoken last week on the topics of trauma and pastoral sexual abuse (and the resulting conversations with attendees at both sessions), I keep thinking this thought: Just don’t blow it.

Let me explain. Both sessions are filled with examples of Christian leaders abusing vulnerable people. It is common that attendees want to come up and chat with me about something similar that has happened to them or a loved one. During my trauma session, an individual commented to the whole group about a recent serious (and very public) allegation about a camp counselor and a decade of abuse to young boys. What would I tell these boys who were (allegedly) abused by someone they should have trusted?

Even when the problem is not abuse but moral failings, I note the massive, rippling fallout (fear, anger, anxiety, crushing heartbreak) in those in the know.

After the second session I got to go have a wonderful dinner with my wife. During it I was having double consciousness. I was with her and enjoying her company but having intruding thoughts about my own capacity to fail her, my kids, my parents, my colleagues, my students, etc. These vignettes I heard of “blowing it” can’t be all stupid of course. They too must have known how much destruction their choices would bring. I cannot rest on the fact that since I’m in the know, it won’t happen to me. Why? Because we are all prone to forget.

So, I spoke to myself, Just don’t blow it Phil. Remember that glowing face of your wife in the dinner light.

I’ll need a bit more than that I suppose…regular reminders and lots of prayer! It is easy to be ensnared and deceived by desires for comfort, glory, etc.

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Filed under Abuse, adultery, christian counseling, Christianity, self-deception

AACC revisited


Not much time today for any significant posting on psychological assessment and/or the AACC world conference I’ve just returned from. 5 Days away from home leaves way too much other stuff to do!

However, here’s one small reaction question I pondered on the plane ride home: Which is better: a conference where I agree with most speakers, OR, one where there is wide diversity and quality of work (and some work that is downright bogus)?

I attend two different counseling conferences. One really scrutinizes speakers and makes sure they are in agreement with the organizing agency. The other seems to let any counselor teach if they can write a decent proposal and outcomes statement. The first one protects from outrageous presentations but most likely limits new voices and/or progressive ideas. The second one gives many ideas an opportunity but the listener bears the responsibility to figure out whether the speaker has any basis for their opinion.

Now, I don’t know this for sure, but I’m guessing the first one suffers from highly critical followers who make sure that no speaker ventures too far from home. And I also guessing that the second group has a large following that does not discern truth from simplistic pop psychology.

So, which is better? The first one rarely ruffles my feathers. The second one has speakers that make me want to scream but also  exposes me to new ideas and research.

As I said, I’m not sure which I prefer. Both tempt me to have arrogant thoughts…which reveals more about me I suppose.

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Filed under biblical counseling, christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity, counseling science, counseling skills

Engaging Biblical Texts in Trauma Therapy


Today I present my 1 hour CE training at the AACC conference. In this presentation I briefly review (a) complex PTSD and its typical symptom presentation, (b) material from my recently published work on best practices for using Scripture in counseling. Then I consider the particular application to therapy with trauma survivors. The goal is not get individuals to believe the truth but to experience it via the interpersonal relationship of therapy.

If you are interested in more, see the pptx slides I have up on my page “Articles, Slides, Etc.” (# 15 on the list).

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Filed under biblical counseling, christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity, counseling science, counseling skills, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychology

Day 2 AACC Conference


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Seen and Heard at AACC


The 2009 conference is underway. Loads of people here. Way too many for my taste. But, then I did run into three former students (Jane, Barb, and Bayo) and I saw some colleagues I haven’t seen for some time. Even better, I ran into Bishop Alex and Leah (my host and compatriot in Rwanda).

After my own presentation I went to an ethics seminar to fulfill one of my CE requirements due in November. Found out that AACC is coming out with a new code in 2010. Among a number of changes they are including will be a new section on ecounseling and another on disclosures about HIV/AIDS status. Apparently, more states are considering those with HIV who also are known to be having unprotected sex to be putting life at risk and so that triggers counselors’ duty to warn and protect (to notify 3rd parties of imminent life risk) just as we would if our clients threatened to kill another. There is a catch. If I breach confidentiality to warn a 3rd party about a murder threat, I cannot be held liable by the client if I breached in good faith. However, I have no protection from liability in revealing HIV status that is being used as a weapon. Seems the duty is still discretionary.

Tonight I did two things I don’t normally do. First, I walked very slowly around the exhibit hall and really looked at what people were selling/promoting. I must say, I’m not much of a fan of Christian pop. Not all was that, but some definitely. Everybody has a book or an angle that solves life’s problems. It is hard for me not to be cynical in that room. Hence why I don’t go there. But, I know my assessment is not completely fair. I am sure that many have very good materials. I’m only admitting that I hate the sales aspect. (I used to buy all of the candy bars I was required to sell for my high school track team just so I wouldn’t have to sell any).

Second, I sat through the whole plenary. Normally, I show up just in time for the featured speaker (Piper tonight). I have to say I did enjoy the worship more this time around and Newsong and Amy Grant. Seeing her brought back memories of being a young teen and thinking she a very attractive 20 something. Well, she still has that good voice and looks. It was just her and her guitar. I found that much more to my liking that if she had come out with a whole band…

The day is over and so we’ll see what tomorrow brings…

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