October 4, 2011 · 10:29 am

Christian counseling theory and the bible: A dangerous mix?


Maybe Christian counselors shouldn’t use the bible when they promote their counseling theory. Maybe they should just articulate their theory and leave the bible verses out. Sound radical? An overreaction? Guilty as charged. But…consider with me that some of our most popular Christian models may be built on rather flimsy biblical data.

Some (simplistic) background thoughts

All Christian counselors recognize that the bible plays a unique role in counseling theory. Otherwise, they would just be “counselors.” But not all use the bible in the same way. Some view the bible as the primary (even sole) guide or resource for understanding human nature and recovery from every sort of relational and/or emotional struggle. These counselors would likely cite 2 Tim 3:15-16 as evidence that Scripture is powerful and primary in our fight against sin and suffering. Others view the bible as a helpful foundation designed to remind us who God is, who we are, and a resource for comfort, encouragement, and rebuke. But, these counselors might also look to other resources as well–psychological research, physiology, medicine, sociology, etc. They would not dismiss the value of the bible but would argue that the bible doesn’t intend to be the answer guide for all the questions we might have. Thus, sources of human knowledge are important to the work of good Christian counseling. Now within this second camp, counselors vary widely as to how important either Scripture or human sources of knowledge function in their given practice. Some seem to emphasize (or neglect) one source more than the other.

The problem…

No matter where a counselor falls on the above continuum, it is far too easy to use the bible to baptize a particular viewpoint or theory. From my most recent christian counseling conference, I heard a plenary speaker say something like this (not a quote but pretty near exact):

Men need respect. It is their airhose. Women need love. It is their airhose.

Along with this statement, the speaker bolstered their points with personal stories and biblical passages indicating the women should be loved and men treated as having authority (submitted to). Here the speaker used bible passages to indicate that men are designed to operate optimally when respected and women designed to operate optimally with love.

Is this true? It could be. I certainly think that this SEEMS to be true for most men and women. But, and this is the BIG BUT…does Scripture indeed teach this. Does Paul teach us that these are our basic needs in order to function well?

Close but way off

Notice that love and respect cannot be our “airhose.” Habakkuk 3:16f would suggest that when everything has been taken away, it is possible to have joy in all things. Notice that Ephesians 5 is about what each are commanded to do…not about what each of us needs to receive. Christ is our “airhose” and nothing else. This speaker would have been better served just teaching us about observations made about what actions tend to make for better marriages than to indicate that the Scriptures teach us we have these two needs.

So, the next time you pick up a cool book by a christian counselor. Check out how they use the bible. As a support for a good theory (e.g., this verse teaches us…)? Or, as a source for understanding the problem of evil and the nature of our God who leads, guides, and saves us?

If you are interested in this topic, let me give you a couple of resources.

  • October 2011 print issue of Christianity Today covers the general misuse of the bible. It is not just counselors who do this. They list the example of a book with anti-aging techniques supposedly gleaned from the bible.
  • 2 chapters in Care for the Soul:Exploring the Intersection of Psychology & Theology (IVP, 2001). Chapters 12 and 13 both cover the issue of hermeneutics. Richard Schultz addresses how counselors misuse wisdom literature and chapter 13 (myself and my colleague Bryan Maier) give more general recommendations for good hermeneutic work.

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October 3, 2011 · 12:48 pm

Causes of Pastor Struggles?


I’ve spoken on this topic for the past several years and have shared thoughts on this blog about the unique stresses of being a pastor or being in a pastor’s family. During the AACC conference I was able to attend Michael and Kari MacKenzie’s presentation (Marble Retreat counselors). Here’s what they had to say…very much mirroring what I had just taught on several days ago.

Michael’s dissertation research on the topic resulted in the following list as the “top 6” most significant struggles in ministry

1. Stress, 2. Burnout, 3. Marital Problems, 4. Sexual Problems (infidelity, porn, etc.), 5. Depression, 6. Conflict (family or ministry). Interestingly, if you are on a missionary team, #6 is really #1.

What are the prime causes, according to their research?

1. Isolation, 2. Unrealistic Expectations, 3. Poor Boundaries.

I would comment here that these are not really causes but deeper layers may need to be discovered. Just why does the ministry leader have unrealistic expectations, poor boundaries, etc.? What is driving these issues? Some of those reasons can be found in the culture as well as in the desires of the pastor/leader. For example, a refusal to be vulnerable may be causal…as well as a congregation’s expectation that pastors never need help.

What helps protect pastors from massive stress? According to Mark McMinn: 1. a Personal Devotion to Christ (outside of sermon prep), 2. Hobbies, 3. Exercise, 4. Regular Time Away, 5. a Good Marriage.

The 64,000 question:

Why don’t pastors (why don’t we all) do the most basic things we know are good for them? Why don’t we exercise and eat well? Why don’t we take time away? Why don’t we get enough sleep? Why don’t we maintain a healthy devotional life? Rarely is it a matter of not knowing how to do these things. If you find yourself not doing basic self-care, ask yourself this: what other motives take priority in my life? Some other goal/motivation is getting in the way. What is it? When you can answer that question then you have a greater chance to decide what you are going to do about it.

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October 1, 2011 · 5:53 am

Baking Cakes in Kigali: Book Note


I have just finished Baking Cakes in Kigali, by Gaile Parkin (Bantam Books, 2010). This is BY FAR, the best book I have read this year. I would urge anyone interested in understanding life in Rwanda as well as life of women in much of the world. It is a novel but it conveys in beautiful artistic phrases and tones the experience of a woman who must overcome much adversity, who must understand her world, who must come to terms with her own difficult history and help those in your community overcome their own difficulties.

Read it if you want to see beautiful images of lay counseling, of family and relational challenges, of hope and realistic images of healing. Gaile Parkin is a counselor and it shows. She gets interpersonal relationships, trauma, and how to weave a story together.

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September 30, 2011 · 5:32 am

Healing Trauma in International Settings: AACC Seminar


Today, Carol King and myself will be presenting this PowerPoint show for our 1 hour breakout at this year’s AACC World Conference. Feel free to check out what we talk about by following the link.

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September 27, 2011 · 7:23 am

Supervisors: FREE Ethics CE at Biblical, 11/5/11


If you supervise counselors, would be willing to consider supervising a Biblical Seminary MA Counseling student for a practicum or internship, then we have an offer for you. On Saturday, November 5th, 2011, we will be holding our annual fieldwork expo. It is a time when supervisors come and meet first and second year MA students over lunch. Students get to find out about potential sites and supervisors get a quick feel for the students and may even be able to identify ones that would make good interns.

During the 3 hours, we offer a one hour CE (NBCC approved) for all supervisors, an ethics update. The CE and certificate are free of charge! Check out Expo Flyer for all the details.

Coming does not mean you have to take a student as an intern (though you should be open to it) nor that you will automatically receive an intern. But, by coming you do get a CE for your efforts and students get a chance to see those doing the work they one day hope to do.

If you are coming be sure to follow the directions on the flyer and register. Last minute walk-ins may not get to eat!

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September 26, 2011 · 10:49 am

Off to Nashville!


This marks the 6th trip to the Opryland Hotel for AACC’s World Conference. It is quite the spectacle. I love meeting up with old and new friends. I love the opportunities to teach and learn. I don’t love the Opryland. It is behemoth (though good for exercise) and feels fake after a day or two in the climate controlled indoor bubble. Nice greenery and all but still a bit stifling for my taste.

This year I will be present at the following

  1. 9/27
    1. Speaking to Salvation Army Officers on ministry challenges and spiritual renewal (slides on slides page)
    2. Speaking to golfers at the Project Tuza Golf fund-raiser and dinner about Rwanda and the work we will do there in a few weeks.
  2. 9/28
    1. Presenting with Diane Langberg on Complex Trauma (3 hour pre-conference seminar)
    2. Meeting with the American Bible Society, AACC, and others about supporting global trauma recovery
    3. Meeting with those going to Rwanda to make final plans on our 3 day training of World Vision workers
  3. 9/29 Conference opens!
    1. Attending as many plenary and breakouts as possible
    2. Representing Christian Psychology to counseling students at “Awakenings” event
    3. Pizza with Langberg & Associates staff who will be there!
  4. 9/30
    1. Presenting a 1 hour breakout with Carol King on international trauma recovery (slides on slides page)
  5. 10/1
    1. Making a pitch from the main stage to all attendees during the “ask” for support for Project Tuza.

I think I will be plenty busy. This doesn’t count all the interactions with friends and colleagues I often have. So, I look forward to it and look forward to it being over and returning home to family. Feel free to pray for their stamina as well!

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September 23, 2011 · 3:30 pm

Diane Langberg on 9/11 “heap” experience


I know, 9/11 remembrances have come and gone. However, this reflection from Diane Langberg speaks to the struggle of the workers on the “heap” and her experience with them while they were uncovering their colleagues who had died trying to save others. As usual, Diane has a way of seeing God in the midst of death.

Here’s the link.

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September 21, 2011 · 3:37 pm

Good Read! New book out for lay counseling training


I am frequently asked about the best materials out there for churches interested in building a lay counseling ministry. There are materials out there that help to teach people to be good listeners. There are materials out there that give lay counselors an education on the nature of problems and how God is in the business of changing hearts and minds. These same materials help readers realize that lay counseling can be a credible and highly important ministry in the church. While professionals are needed for difficult cases, many counseling needs can be handled “in-house” if the church supports and supervises wise lay counselors.

Well, a new book is out and though I have not read it all, I have gotten a flavor of it, enough to recommend it to you all if you are looking for such a book. It is written by Robert Kellemen, author of a number of counseling texts and frequent blogger. Don’t miss his answer to a question of mine at the bottom.

Why is this an important book?

Here’s why:

  • Most prior books on this topic present lay counseling either as an anemic listening only task or speak only in theological terms and fail to actually train lay counselors to listen well. This book considers both the biblical basis for lay counseling AND is concerned about listening skills as well.
  • Most prior books forget to bring the WHOLE church along in the vision of biblical counseling. Bob has the readers consider the church culture and health. If the church (leaders) aren’t buying in to this, there won’t be a counseling ministry.
  • Bob focuses on the character of the counselor. This is HUGE. What’s worse than a poorly trained counselor? One who is well-trained but arrogant and un-reflective.
  • Bob covers practical matters of a counseling ministry including the ethics of lay counseling. This is extremely important if a church doesn’t want to make mistakes that could lead to lawsuits.

Click here for more on the book including a table of contents, video trailer, and sample chapter.

So, I asked Bob this question:

Most churches seem divided between those who support lay biblical counseling and those who think counselors should be specialists outside the church. How does your book speak to both?

Bob’s answer is extended but helpful:

That’s an excellent question. Anyone who knows the focus of my ministry knows that I tend not to be an either/or person, but rather a both/and person. I believe God calls both biblical counselors in the church and those who counsel outside the church.

Equipping Counselors for Your Church, by the very nature of the title, is much more focused on local church-based equipping. However, in chapter one I address More Than Counseling: A Vision for the Entire Church. Here I outline seven different “styles” of meeting counseling needs in the Christian community–including the “specialist model.”

A main reason I choose to focus on equipping counselors for the church is that very few others are doing so. While we have scores and scores of books about training professional Christian counselors, the last book written on equipping counselors for the church was Tan’s 1991 book–based upon his 1980s dissertation which in turn was based upon research from the 1970s. We’ve gone an entire generation without a book on equipping counselors for the church! Frankly, that’s inexcusable given the Bible’s clear mandate that we equip God’s people to speak the truth in love so that we all grow up in Christ (Ephesians 4:11-16).

Further, we have 100s of counselor education programs in Christian colleges, graduate schools, and seminaries, but in my research, few of those programs have required courses in equipping counselors. In the one course I took on the topic in my seminary MA, we were told that it was not possible to equip counselors for the local church! I couldn’t disagree more. I always tell pastors, counselors, and students that if you are going to obtain a Master’s Degree that means you have so mastered the topic that you not only are able to do the work of counseling, you should be able to equip others also.

So, we could debate the issue forever (biblical counselors in the church or specialists outside the church), but the fact is, there’s a dearth of biblical, best-practice material available for those who are committed to equipping one-another ministers for the church. Equipping Counselors for Your Church brings together two-dozen best-practice churches who are doing it successfully now, plus my experience launching and leading biblical counseling ministries in three very different churches. It provides a biblical, logical, theological, relational, field-tested, practical step-by-step “4E” process: envisioning, enlisting, equipping, and empowering.

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September 20, 2011 · 11:18 am

Sneak preview: Healing Trauma in International Settings (AACC seminar)


Cascade Atrium, Gaylord Opryland Resort & Conv...

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Just completed preparing my breakout seminar for this year’s AACC World Conference at the beautiful but outlandishly expansive Opryland Hotel in Nashville (Sept 28-Oct 2). This time around I presenting with my colleague Carol King on “Healing Trauma in International Settings: Best Practices.” Carol has had some experience in Rwanda and Goma, DRC and will be with our group in October when we do trauma recovery training in Kigali. Come back to the blog on the 30th and you can see and download the slideshow we will do.

What will we be talking about? 3 main points:

  • Listen…don’t assume you already know trauma or treatment practices
  • Train…don’t do the interventions yourself (train local leaders)
  • Utilize…don’t reinvent the wheel (use existing models)

Now obviously we will be fleshing those points out. Our goal is to help prepare interested counselors to develop short and long-range intervention strategies that utilize the cultural and human resources of the people they will serve. The only way to do this well is to have a listening and collaborative/support role approach. To that end I will talk about hoe to build an effective area case map.  We end by reviewing a few models for trauma recovery (both Christian and secular).

Check back on the 30th for the full set of slides.

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September 15, 2011 · 5:10 am

Psychological rubbernecking?


One of the necessary first steps of doing international trauma work is to listen to the stories of trauma. There are two main reasons. First, it can be healing for the teller to tell their story to someone safe and caring (if those leading the story telling project follow some basic rules). Second, stories often reveal useful information that may determine future trauma recovery intervention strategies.

But let us also admit there can be a downside to getting others to tell their story, especially those who are impoverished and in great need:

  • When “helpers” or journalists helicopter in to hear the stories, the victims may not feel free to not tell their stories because of the help they hope to receive
  • Outside helpers may repeat the stories in such a way as to sensationalize or to gain more money for future trips. While some reasons to tell may be noble and good, does the retelling of the trauma put the victim at risk for retaliation?
  • Getting victims to tell their story may first raise hopes for change and then dash them if there isn’t a plan for follow-up
  • Sometimes outsiders listen only to help themselves feel better (see, we cared enough to listen) but not do anything to help

In less than one month I will be on my way to do just this kind of listening in both the DRC and Rwanda. The challenge for us is to listen and invite story-telling in ways that leaves victims with immediate help and hope and a viable plan for the future (as it pertains to what to do about their trauma).

But we face some hurdles in trying to hear the right (real) or most important stories.
1. Hearing the real stories. Sometimes stories get cleaned up in an effort to tell us what others think we want to hear. Other stories are told with a slant in order to avoid stirring up other trouble.

2. Avoiding our own biases. Some victims may be perpetrators even as they are also victims. It is easy to categorize individuals in such a way that we stop listening to the pain or the recovery. We can fail to see how victims handle temptations for revenge or how perpetrators act humanely.

3. Lost in translation. Most of the stories we will hear are going to be told to us in a language other than English. That means the story we hear may be the words of the translator rather than the victim.

There is a fine line between listening for learning or helping and listening for curiosity. It is not always clear where that line is but pray for us as we seek to listen in ways that bring health and a plan for healing. We do not want to merely rubberneck like those driving past a bad accident, looking but not providing any help.

One sign that we are listening well is that the victim not only recalls the terrible things from their past but that they also recall how they survived and have some sense of being empowered in their present and future.

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