March 29, 2007 · 11:57 am

The art of Christian dialogue about theology


I’ve been thinking about how we Christians talk to, at, and about each other’s theological positions. There are two poles that we tend to be attracted to. On one side we may lean toward criticalness. The plus of this pole is that details matter. We look at the details in great depth and we run with others’ positions to their possible conclusions. The downside to this polarity is that we are inclined to read associations and ideas in their worst possible light, worst possible conclusion. We describe others in ways that they would not recognize. Further, we make divisions where there may not be any. Finally, this polarity usually elevates debate and hinders real listening and dialogue.

The other polarity is apathy. This polarity attracts folks who think theological discussion isn’t all that important. On the plus side, folks over here tend to be pragmatic, relationship oriented, application oriented, etc. However, sloppy thinking and unwillingness to own the logical conclusions of a position are a downside. On this pole, some may elevate questions over answers and decisions. This leaves some really hanging and their faith threatened.

Notice that both poles encourage pride. 

Whenever you describe two poles, many will comment that they are either on both sides at the same time or they choose a completely different pole. Fair enough. Also, when a writer presents two bad poles, the obvious answer is always in the middle, right? No, not always.

But what should Christian dialogue about theology look like? That is the big question in seminaries, churches and other christian organizations. So, maybe we should first talk about some parameters.

1. Do I have the right to be picking the speck out of my brother or sister’s eye if I have significant problem with my own fruit of the spirit? (especially peace and patience) 
2. Do I give the best possible reading to the other’s position? Do I list multiple possible logical conclusions as there may be more than one (or do I just list the worst?)?
3. Do I love this person, even if they are wrong? Do I seek them out privately to dialogue (true dialogue!)?
4. Do I ask them to answer questions that I won’t answer myself? Do I demand black/white answers when I allow my own to have nuances?
5. Am I looking for proof of what I already believe rather than looking for true dialogue and growth on both sides?
6. Am I wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove?
7. Do I engage in guilt by association?
8. When someone is off-base, do I show gentleness in my teaching? Humility? Desire to restore? Recognition that, “there but for grace go I”?

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Filed under Christian Apologetics, conflicts, Doctrine/Theology, Evangelicals

March 28, 2007 · 8:57 am

Why racial reconciliation?


I’ve posted here a couple of times on the necessity of racial reconciliation. One of the most biblical arguments I’ve heard is by Rev. Brenda Salter McNeil. You can read a summary I made of her John 4 sermon here or go to her website and watch a clip of the DVD. However, Ed Gilbreath has taken her question, “Why is it nice to have racial diversity in the church?”  and posted on his blog. I encourage you to check it out, especially the comments to his post. That is where several people make an attempt to answer the question as to why it is so important to have racial diversity in the church.

My short answer? Because I do not possess the fullness of the Gospel message in my own reading of Scripture and how it addresses life. When I am in racially diverse communities (and that means not just in the congregants but in the leadership, music, focus, etc.) then I am able to see just how rich the story of reconciliation, redemption, glory-weights, grace, and the Gospel are in the life of God’s people. Things I didn’t see are clearer; questions I never asked are present. And I am more amazed at the power and genius of our Creator.  

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Filed under Black and White, Racial Reconciliation

March 27, 2007 · 11:24 am

By what story do you construct your life?


By what story do you construct your life? What story dominates your life? Continue reading →

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Filed under biblical counseling, christian counseling, Cultural Anthropology, Identity, Meditations

March 26, 2007 · 3:43 pm

Science Monday: What you think you say and what is heard are two different things


Been musing on the divide between what we think we communicate and what others actually hear us say. This, of course, is a key issue for counselors. We think we are communicating empathy, but maybe the client hears judgment. We think we are just asking penetrating questions, the client hears we don’t know what we think.

Why am I thinking about this right now? Mark Yarhouse and some others at the recent CAPS conference presented their findings of a survey of some Christian College and University students about their school’s climate regarding those who struggle with same sex attraction. I’m not going to summarize their findings but one little factoid was presented: Students who struggle with same sex attraction do not think the faculty address these issues in class (positively or negatively). Faculty, on the other hand, seem to think they talk about it all the time.

Why do we think we address some issue and others think we never talk about it? I think several reasons may be possible/probable:

1. Speaker overconfidence bias. We overestimate our frequency of addressing issues. When we allude to something, we think others will think the same way we will and therefore have more confidence in what others pick up from us. We think we are more cutting edge than others perceive us.

2. Student issues. Besides only remember a small percentage of what another says, listeners tend to pick up more on feelings, especially those that tap into their already formed/forming belief system. Hence, if a speaker avoids a topic that the listener really wants to hear (but already believes people like the speaker tend to avoid the topic), the listener is more likely to “record” the event as “typical” than when the speaker actually gives a few comments to the topic. This is a type of confirmation bias.

Its a wonder we ever communicate with each other at all!

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Filed under counseling science

March 23, 2007 · 8:41 am

What’s hot in Christian psychology?


Based on the number of presentations (plenary and breakout), forgiveness (research and practice) is the hot topic. Seems everyon wants to talk about forgiveness. Probably a good idea because so much of counseling has to do with needing to forgive and be forgiven.

Two interesting points from last night’s plenary on couple therapy by Jen Ripley (Regent U.)

1. Couples who show adequate influence/acceptance have healthier marriages. When husbands indicate a willingness to be influenced by their wives feelings and opinions, couples do better. When husbands or wives are unwilling to accept the flaws of their spouse (e.g., their lateness habits), they remain perpetually unhappy leading to negative future prospects for the marriage.

2. Some of the domestic violence research suggests therapists need to differentiate between common couple violence and terrorism/control violence. The first is more treatable in counseling while the latter is not. The first has been observed in 20% of the couples in the prior year. This kind has no injury but there is mutual pushing and shoving. Both are bad, but the first kind may be addressed in couples counseling without increasing the danger.

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Filed under christian counseling, christian psychology

March 21, 2007 · 3:10 pm

CAPS conference break the rest of the week


I’m attending the national conference of the Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS) the rest of this week. So, I’ll not be posting much until Monday. However, these kinds of things tend to stimulate my thinking and so one never knows…

I’ll be presenting with a colleague from Eastern Univ. on the fun topic (really, it is!) of teaching the history of Christian psychology. For those interested in see the slides on the page above, articles slides, etc.

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Filed under christian psychology, counseling science

March 20, 2007 · 12:08 pm

Levels of Depravity and the American consciousness of evil


I listened to and interview with NY Times columnist Thomas Friedman (author of best-selling, The World is Flat) on the way to work this morning. He was discussing the dire problems in Iraq. During the interview he was grieving the losses that 9/11 brought to the sense of safety we Americans used to have. He talked about no longer being able to travel the world as an American without any worries as to safety. He mentioned how in DC one has to produce an ID to go into public buildings now. To underline these day/night changes in the last few years, he compared his experiences covering 5 years of the Lebanese civil war to what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan. From his perspective, even in the atrocities of the Lebanese civil war, there were still lines of civility not crossed by the combatants. But now, there is no sense of “sanctuary”. Everyone is a target. A hospital to treat Muslims was blown up on the day it was being opened, a mosque was blown up during a funeral, school girls blown up during a test.

His comments made me pause. Is the world reaching some deeper level of depravity not seen before? Continue reading →

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Filed under News and politics, sin, suffering, Uncategorized

March 19, 2007 · 12:58 pm

Science Monday: Working with ADHD children


Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (commonly known as ADD or ADHD) in children presents many challenges for all involved. Often there are frazzled parents, irritated teachers, dismissing/judgmental friends, impulsive/distracted kids with loads of shame and pressure, and distant medical professionals. Continue reading →

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Filed under counseling skills

March 18, 2007 · 3:13 pm

Dealing with disappointment II OR Greenhouse is down…and out


I’m all for snow, even the late snows of the season. I remember shoveling the snow off our Springfield, VT highschool track in April so we could have a meet. But, this snow threatened a planned trip to my son’s state gymnastics meet. We planned ahead and got there mostly before the storm. Only 20 miles of slippery driving. He was saved from the disappointment I wrote of last Friday (and even won a bronze in the vault!).

All’s well that ends well, right? Well, we returned to find our driveway impassable with 3 inches of ice and my greenhouse irrepairably crushed. So, the disappointment that I have no more hideaway to read the paper and tend my little green things.

As I chop the ice, I remind myself that it will be quickly gone and that my hope isn’t in earthly things.

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March 16, 2007 · 5:06 am

Dealing with Disappointment


Supposed to be going with the family today to my son’s state gymnastics meet several hours drive away. But it is snowing and messy despite a few days ago going above 70 degrees. As he contemplates not going, I’m reminded how difficult it is to deal with life’s disappointments. What habits do we practice when things, big or small, don’t go the way we planned? Whining, pity parties, rage, despair, Stoicism? I’m inclined to be stoic on the outside but having a rage inside. The call of Psalm 73 and others is to bring our disappointments to God, admit them, and plea for help to see them as he does.  

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Filed under Biblical Reflection, Desires