April 16, 2007 · 9:55 am

Science Monday returns


Snow on April 16???? Now I love snow, but this is a bit much, especially following the rain that is finding all the cracks that lead to my basement. Because of this, the science end of science Monday is a bit thin today.

Today starts our new semester and my class on Emotionally Focused Therapy begins tonight. EFT’s primary goal is to enhance the marital bond. A strong bond weathers all sorts of conflicts and basic human self-centeredness. What two things help us maintain healthy bonds? Continue reading →

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Filed under counseling science, marriage

April 13, 2007 · 9:26 am

Racism vs. Offensiveness vs. Sin: Take your pick


Let me commend to you a post and numerous comments about racism on Scot McKnight’s blog: http://www.jesuscreed.org/?p=2239.  The dialogue there centers on the issue of stereotypes, racism, and using another’s characteristics for humor. One interesting point of dialogue caught my eye: Could using another’s ethnic identity be offensive without being racist?

If being an offense is a sin (and I would argue that it is–the Gospel is an offense to many be we should never be), then what impetus would we have to argue that something is sin but not racist. Seems the only reason to argue for one is that we see offensiveness as bad but not nearly as bad as racism. That is like being called a pedophile. Does our interest in defending against the claim of racism evidence a level of defensiveness (and therefore blindness) to the realities that racism is nothing more than systematic offensiveness–using another’s characteristics to put and keep them in a subservient position?

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Filed under Cultural Anthropology, Race, sin

April 12, 2007 · 5:52 am

Racial vs. racist: Is there a difference? Does it matter?


The ongoing saga of Imus’ comments about the Rutgers women’s basketball team brings this difference to the surface again. Is there a difference between someone who says something racializing (and negative) and someone who says the same thing but would be identified as racist? The book, Divided by Faith addresses this if memory serves. What do you think? Is there a difference? Does it matter?

My thoughts: Continue reading →

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Filed under Black and White, Race

April 11, 2007 · 8:50 am

Knowing your ROOTS


How important is your ethnic heritage to you? What if you knew nothing of your family tree? Would it matter to you? What if all you knew is that your ancestors were slaves? Would you ever wonder what life might have been like if slavery hadn’t happened? The power of heritage and knowing something about it is pretty important to a lot of people. It gives them a sense of identity. Case in point is when an adult learns for the first time that they were adopted and the parents they thought were biological were only adoptive. It causes significant confusion and disorientation for most.

But this morning I was listening this to Henry Louis Gates, Jr. on Tom Joyner’s morning show (yes, I listen to at times to TJMS, Imus, NPR, and sports-talk (when I want to hear the NY world go nuts over the Red Sox). That probably says a little too much about me…). He was talking about another episode of taking celebrity African Americans to learn what their genealogy and DNA tell them about their heritage. With certain tests, they can fairly accurately tell what percent white, Asian, African, and Native American blood a person has as well as what region of Africa they came from.

Anyway, Gates quoted some interesting statistics: Continue reading →

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Filed under Black and White, Cultural Anthropology, Race

April 10, 2007 · 9:47 am

Jim Jones’ (People’s Temple) deception revisited


I watched the PBS special on Jim Jones and the Jonestown massacre that aired last night. I was struck by several things that at the same time disturbed and sobered me: Continue reading →

4 Comments

Filed under Abuse, Cultural Anthropology, Historical events, self-deception

April 9, 2007 · 5:05 am

Good jokes versus racial slurs


Okay, I admit I sometimes listen to Don Imus’ radio show in the morning on my way to work. He has a good list of politicians and authors on that have interesting points of view. He also has a comedian on who regularly impersonates various people like Dr. Phil, President Clinton, and other celebs. Sometimes he’s funny. Many times he’s cranky, overbearing with the green cleaning stuff, and offensive. Last week, he made some serious racial slurs against the Rutgers women’s basketball team. I didn’t hear them but because I have listened to him off and on, I’m not surprised. In fact, I’m surprised he hasn’t been kicked off the air before. He calls Arabs, “towel heads”, I’ve heard racial stereotypes about the Chinese, gay people, and his sidekicks are worse than he is.

But, what’s the difference between good fun at another’s expense and a slur? Continue reading →

7 Comments

Filed under Cultural Anthropology, News and politics

April 5, 2007 · 11:02 am

Changing the relational dance


In my last post I talked about the emotional/relational dance that all couples do. Someone usually is the pursuer (who may tend to be critical as well), the other withdraws and disengages. This dance isn’t always pathological but might lead either to chronic attack or cold war.

But assume for a minute that the couple wants to develop a healthier dance. What could they do? What might be one thing that would really advance the relationship into a more positive way?  Continue reading →

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Filed under conflicts, marriage

April 3, 2007 · 10:10 am

Do you pursue or withdraw in conflict?


I’m prepping for my part of the Advanced Marital Class which starts soon. We’ll be looking closely at Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and its dealings with the problems of disconnection in marriages. One of the key issues this therapy tries to address is the need for a secure bond between husband and wife. One particular problem noted by Susan Johnson, one of the originators of the therapy, is the problem of the blamer-withdrawer dance that many couples go through. During conflict, one party pursues/demands/blames while the other party disconnects/withdraws/withholds. While almost every couples has hints of this pattern, distressed couples have lots of the pattern and it may lead even to abusive patterns. Some research on the pattern suggests that women are more likely to demand and men are more likely to withdraw. If this research is true, it begs the question: Why? A recent article in Counseling Psychology (2007, v. 54:2, 165-177) has tried to answer the question (Vogel et al, Sex Differences in the Use of Demand and Withdraw Behavior in Marriage…). Continue reading →

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Filed under conflicts, marriage, Uncategorized

April 2, 2007 · 9:28 am

Science Monday: What is most helpful in counseling?


What really helps counselees get better? A colleague handed me a newspaper editorial from the Bangor, Maine Daily News, written by Thomas Gaffney and published July 12, 2006. The editorial reviewed the situation in psychotherapy: Some 400 treatment approaches, 100 that are considered “evidenced based”, and yet many research studies show that most treatment approaches work equally well, about 80% of the time compared to non-treatment.

The editorial goes on to state that there are 4 factors for successful treatment: Continue reading →

2 Comments

Filed under counseling science, counseling skills

March 30, 2007 · 9:31 am

The art of disagreeing in public


Continuing from the previous post, I think we ought to consider how we deal in public with differences in theological viewpoints, biblical text meanings, views on Christianity, etc. Its not hard to listen to another person’s opinions and beliefs. But then what do we say to our friends? What do we say in public when describing this other person’s viewpoint? Here’s a few ideas: Continue reading →

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Filed under Christian Apologetics, church and culture, conflicts, Doctrine/Theology