Category Archives: christian counseling

August 21, 2009 · 8:46 am

Case consultation by videoconference?


For my counselor readers…how interested would you be in participating in videoconferenced case consultations with an expert in your field for the purpose of discussing client cases with that expert? Bear in mind that this kind of activity would have to meet ethical guidelines (e.g., no identifying information about any clients could be revealed, clear distinction that this is consultation and not supervision, etc.), but would you be interested? Would something like this reduce your sense of isolation?  Consider answering the following questions:

1. Would you be interested in getting consultation for some of your cases via videoconference (private video exchange with an expert, such as skype or other service)?

2. Would you still be interested if the videoconference was a group of no more than 4 (and everyone got to present something)? If it was a group of about 10 and not everyone got to present but all got to participate in the discussion)

3. Would you be willing to pay for such a consultation? 

4. If yes to above questions, how frequently would you think you might use this type of service? Monthly? Quarterly? Other?

5. Finally, what questions or concerns does this idea raise for you?

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August 20, 2009 · 5:23 am

Be Anxious for Nothing???


Posted slides on my “Articles, Slides…” page (#13 on the list) from the talk I gave last night at Macedonia Baptist Church. Talk entitled: Be Anxious for Nothing??? Dealing with Anxiety in a Frightening World.

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August 18, 2009 · 7:35 am

Cultural sensitivity or watered down


Having been in meetings yesterday and today about our next steps regarding counseling training in Rwanda, I’m wrestling with the best way to address cultural differences in whatever training we do. And specifically I’m wrestling with a particular dilemma forming in my mind:

Teach what we know about counseling NOW but be unaware of subtle but important cultural differences vs. listen, learn, and teach LATER what we know (but in culturally relevent terms)

It is not the first time that I have been asked to do something sooner rather than later with these words. “Don’t worry about the cultural relevance. We’ll tell you when something doesn’t work or our students will do the application to their own situations. If you try to be culturally sensitive, it will end up being watered down. We want our students to get the best education, something that the US would recognize.”

Why do I struggle with this request? Well, in my head it sounds like, “hey, come bring your colonialistic methods of evangelism and we’ll handle it.” I struggle with it because I know American counseling culture has significant problems with it. And, I struggle with it because I know that some students (this is a universal truth!) are really good at critical thinking while others blindly ape what we say without much thought at all. AND YET, I know that waiting until I’m culturally aware enough to teach means I wouldn’t do so for a very long time.  

So, part of my struggle is not wanting to look like a culture boob by just assuming that what I teach US students is what Rwandans would need. I suspect the answer is (a) being courageous enough to risk looking like a fool, but (b) flexible enough to change on a dime when I am aware of a disconnect.

Hmmm. I may have a problem with both.

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August 10, 2009 · 9:54 am

Happenings


I’m passing on a couple of items from my schedule…

1. Speaking. I’ll be speaking at Macedonia Baptist Church (Norristown, PA) on the next two Wednesdays (8/12 and 8/19) for their Summer Bible Conference (theme: Mental Health Awareness). This week will be on Sexual Addiction and the 19th will be on the topic of Anxiety.

2. School. We start late this year on 9/14. For those interested in our course offerings, check out Biblical’s site for course listings. Note that we have entry level, advanced, and post-MA courses on Monday nights. I’m teaching an on-line course (Social & Cultural Foundations of Counseling) and two face to face classes (Counseling & Physiology, Psychological Assessment). Should be fun!

3. Conference 1. The AACCis hosting it’s World Conference in Nashville Sept. 16-19. My colleague, Bryan Maier, and myself will be speaking there. On the 16th, Diane Langberg and myself will be presenting a 3 hour preconference workshop about addressing the problem of pastoral sexual abuse. Later in the week, I’ll be lecturing on the use of the Bible with trauma clients.  If you like zooy places, then come as that is the best description I have for the Opryland Hotel.

4. Conference 2. November 13-15 is the annual CCEF conference, entitled, Sex Matters. I’ll be presenting on the 14th, “When Sex in Marriage Doesn’t Work.”

5. Newly published. The latest issue of the Journal of Psychology & Christianity(v. 28:2) is just out on the topic of Theophostic Prayer Ministry and related issues. I and my George Schwab have an article in that edition: “God as healer: A Closer Look at Biblical Images of Inner Healing.” Plus, a number of the other articles site previous work that Bryan Maier and I did a few years ago where we critiqued TPM’s theological bases. 

6. In the works. I’ve just completed work on a booklet, “Sexual Addiction: When is Residential Treatment an Option?” It is intended to be an ebooklet published by a local ministry. We are researching the best way to publish such a booklet for those caught in the trap of an addiction. If any of you have any great ideas for the best way to get that out on the Internet (including issues around document delivery, sales, and pricing), I’d love to hear about it.

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Filed under "phil monroe", Anxiety, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling, counseling skills, sexual addiction, teaching counseling

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August 6, 2009 · 5:15 am

Most common sexual dysfunction?


I’m doing some prep for a November talk at CCEF‘s annual conference which I am entitling, “When sex in marriage doesn’t work.” I’ll be giving a brief overview of how counselors can be a help to couples facing sexual dysfunction (whether biological, psychological, or relational). But in my prep today I ran across this little telephone survey result from 2002 where callers asked married men and women between the ages of 40 and 80 about their most frequently experienced sexual problem.

Any guesses yet?

For men, 26.2% reported problems with “early” ejaculation. [No definition given for “early.” Usually early or premature means earlier than he wanted.] Another 22% said the problem was ED. It is interesting that we are bombarded with ED commercials but I can’t say that I’ve ever seen PE treatments advertised in mainstream media. This is probably due to the number of baby boomers with cash seeking to turn back the hands of time.

For women? No surprises. 33% report problems with interest/desire and nearly 22% report problems with lubrication.

Did the respondents seek help? 75% had not.  Another study of men after prostate surgery reveals that those who do seek help quit soon after. Seems that while there are a number of medical and psychological interventions that can help to a degree, nothing turns back the clock to one’s twenties.

A caveat. The researchers only got a 9% response rate for their random calls. Why didn’t more participate? Did those who participated have more or less problems than those who refused?

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August 5, 2009 · 9:26 am

Options for Burned-out pastors


I am working on a talk for pastors and church leaders regarding the problem of conflict with parishioners. One of the surprises for pastors is that Kingdom work means facing attacks from those who are supposed to be on the same side. We know from work with military, NGOs, and missionaries that the most difficult aspect of personal sacrifice is not threats from outside but lack of support from supposed friends and teammates.

So, when a pastor finds him or herself in a conflicted situation and feels burned out, where might that pastor turn? There are a couple of local options for help:

1. C4ML Coaching. As a mission of Biblical Seminary, Mick Noel provides coaching regarding matters of leadership and church culture. His coaching isn’t a substitute for counseling or needed retreat but Rev. Noel is keenly aware of burn-out and church conflicts and can guide the pastor in making a plan to address leadership matters in the church. C4ML also provides opportunities for small cohorts of pastors to meet to discuss how to handle culture change in the church and wider community.

2. ServingLeaders. David Wiedis is an attorney and counselor who provides coaching, consultation, and counseling for ministry leaders. The link will connect you to his thoughts on burn-out.

3. You might consider preventing such burnout by doing some education/personal work with a new ministry called, The Identity School for Christian Ministry. Rev. Bob Miller is offering material he believes is absent from most MDiv programs but necessary for survival in the pastorate. The courses are described on the website and run for 2 days at a time.

4. Retreats. There are a number of locations that provide retreats. Use your search engine to discover these. Some are low cost, some are free if they accept your application. Some leave you alone while others provide counseling and/or coaching. While retreats are good in that they provide a break, unless there is a change in how the situation is being approached, the pastor should not expect miracles.

5. Counseling. Lastly, a good spiritual director or counselor ought to be able to guide the pastor in personal assessment, re-orienting priorities, and choosing a new response set to the difficult situation.

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Filed under Biblical Seminary, christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, church and culture, conflicts, pastoral renewal, pastors and pastoring

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July 26, 2009 · 8:52 pm

What should Christian counseling look like?


 I posted this little item for my last guest blog at www.christianpsych.orgfor the month of July. In it I mention “Christian Counseling: An Introduction” by Malony and Augsburger (2007).

And no, I don’t say what it should look like–merely a comment that we still need to figure out how we handle the faith/science dichotomy that we’ve been handed all these years.

Those who have been around wisecounsel for a while will remember I blogged through each chapter. If you are interested in seeing those posts, just use the search engine on this page to find posts mentioning Malony.

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July 23, 2009 · 4:54 pm

Healing experience of Peter?


Yesterday’s commment about Paul and possible suffering he might have experienced from intrusive memories of past murderous actions got some fun dialogue going here and on Fb. So, in light of the summer doldrums, let’s try another provocative thought. While neither this one nor the yesterday’s musing is based on the actual text (rather they are musings about the personal experience of two apostles), I think they are still fun to consider.

*in chapter 18 of John, the story of Peter’s thrice denial of Jesus is told to us. We are told he is warming himself around a communal fire during this episode. Fast forward to chapter 21. Jesus is now resurrected, has met with the disciples in Jerusalem and now meets the disciples in Galilee after a night of fishing on the Lake. Verse 9 tells us that when the disciples landed and saw Jesus, he was standing beside a charcoal fire cooking fish. What transpires next is Jesus thrice asking Peter if he loved him followed by the command to feed and care for “my sheep.”

Is it purposeful that the only two times in the book of John that charcoal fires are mentioned are these two? What memories does it evoke in Peter as he sees Jesus by it and smells the fire. Does it trigger a way of shame? Had they yet to talk about his denials? Was Peter hanging back? Was Jesus three questions intended to undo the damage done by Peter’s 3 denials?

Clearly, we can say that Jesus’ questions hurt Peter (the text tells us this) but we don’t know the nature of that hurt. What we do know is that humans often carry with them visceral reactions to triggers that bring them back to shameful past events. We don’t know that is what happened to Peter but it might well have.

We can also say that sometimes it is appropriate to have symbolic healing experiences that help commemorate and change our experience of something. I would caution those too enthused with ushering in healing with half-baked re-experiencing moments. And yet, I suspect we all have had some postive, even painful experience that resolved a negative experience from the past.

*This idea did not originate from me. I heard a pastor begin a sermon on this passage by remembering his own traumatic experience (bike accident) and how he physically remembered that accident when his young children were biking. He then mused about Peter’s reactions with Jesus in this passage. He did not suggest the text tells us much here but it was worthwhile considering how we respond when facing memories of past negative and shameful events.

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July 22, 2009 · 11:17 am

Did Paul struggle with past memories?


On Sunday Steve Light preached from Acts regarding the conversion of the Apostle Paul. Prior to his conversion he was known to be one seeking the death of Jewish followers of Jesus. He witnessed and may have provided support for the stoning of Stephen. Upon his conversion those Christians in his circles were wary of whether he was a changed man or merely using it as a ploy to disrupt new churches. These folks had visceral reactions to such a person because they had likely experienced great suffering and distress by Paul’s hand.

Today, Christians generally think positive thoughts about Paul. He is the human author of most of the NT. His words give instruction, comfort, rebuke. We know he was a former violent man but we don’t experience him that way.

SO, here’s my question. Do you think Paul suffered from unwanted or painful memories of past actions? How did it impact him? We know very little about this from Scripture. Yes, Paul admits his past. He thanks God for unmerited grace and favor. But, he doesn’t address the existence of memories.

My thought? I think it is very human to remember shameful acts we have done. In fact, let me be bold enough to say we must remember them if we are to be human. The bigger question is rather HOW we remember them? Volf’s The End of Memory (which I have blogged through here some time ago) is instructive in answering this question. 

How do you remember shameful images or memories of your past? Do they hold you back from relationships? Do they keep you paralyzed? Are you constantly trying to better yourself to make up for the past?

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July 20, 2009 · 5:59 pm

Evaluating Models of Counseling


I’m a little late to post this here but I am the Society of Christian Psychology’sguest blogger of the month. Here’s the post that I put up for today on how to parse the next hot new model of counseling you come across. Check it out at:

http://christianpsych.org/wp_scp/2009/07/20/evaluating-models-of-christian-psychology/

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