Category Archives: christian counseling

Ethics violations: Why we all think we won’t screw up…and one thing you need to protect yourself from you


Every counselor, social worker, psychologist, and other mental health workers get professional ethics education. Such training is designed to teach us to “do no harm.” What mental health professional gets into the field to do harm? We all believe we are going to work for the betterment of our clients.

So, why do we sometimes fail to act in accord with good professional ethics?

Rarely is it because we don’t know the rules. Consider the most recent issue of the APA Monitor on Psychology and the short ethics piece by Alan Tjeltveit (a colleague of mine and fellow CAPS member) and Michael Gottlieb. (You can read the electronic version here; turn to page 68.)  In it, the authors nail the reason why with this quote,

Too many professionals complete their training without the emotional education and awareness needed to avoid self-deception and to act in the prudent, considered manner that society expects and that represents professional ethical excellence. (p. 72)

Self deception

We fail to take a skeptical (note…not fearful) stance toward our own thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. Since we know we are going to work for the good of others we often stop considering that some other values that we hold might get in the way. For example, I might value avoiding conflict and so not address a safety concern with my client for fear they will get angry with me. Or, as the authors of the article point out, I might practice when I am too distressed to help others–because I believe I can still manage the situation (see page. 70).

The One Protection You Most Need

As necessary as it is to keep taking ethics updates from continuing education providers, it is even more important to have a close colleague who doesn’t take you too seriously and is willing to ask the hard questions. Yes, we need an operating sense of values. We need to be tuned to our conscience. We need the Holy Spirit’s help in loving our neighbor as ourself. But, more importantly, we need to stop trusting in our own judgment and acknowledge that hidden values sometimes operate more powerfully than we expect. Desires to be liked, to avoid conflict, to maintain power, to satisfy longings have ways of creeping in. One of the reasons God puts us in community is that we need others to speak into our lives.

Do you want to avoid ethical missteps? Who exists in your life who has the access and capacity to speak into your life; to ask questions others might not think to ask?

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Filed under Abuse, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling, counseling science, counseling skills, ethics, Uncategorized

Global Trauma Recovery Institute Launched! Dr. Langberg Joins Biblical Faculty


American Bible Society

American Bible Society (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It is my pleasure to announce that I and Biblical Seminary are the recipient of a sizeable grant to launch our new Global Trauma Recovery Institute–training for lay and professional recovery experts in the US and around the world. The grant (from an anonymous donor and the American Bible Society) funds the Seminary’s collaborative program with ABS to provide deeper training for those active in both trauma recovery efforts in the US or in training local facilitators in east/central Africa.

Why collaborate with a bible society?

ABS is involved in a trauma healing/scripture engagement project, focused in Africa but with other works going on around the world. This project has been under the work of ABS’ She’s My Sister initiative in the Congo. The bible societies were founded on bringing scripture to bear on the current issues of the time–specifically slavery. So, it make sense that ABS is interested in helping traumatized individuals recover from wounds by showing how God cares and is active in their recovery. Through connections with a few of my students, I and Diane Langberg have become co-chairs of the advisory council to the above-named initiative.

What does this mean for Biblical?

The generous grant will enable Biblical to do the following

  • Commission a research study of the psycho-social impact of trauma in the African context
    • in collaboration with Wheaton College’s Humanitarian Disaster Institute
    • WHY? We need better understanding of the scope of the problem and what locally led interventions will be the most effective (both in terms of success and sustainability)
  •  Develop introductory and advanced global trauma recovery courses that enable MA and postgraduate students to develop specialization in training local trauma recovery facilitators here and around the world
    • These courses will be delivered in a hybrid format starting late 2012; delivered in hybrid system (on-line and in-person)
    • Mental health continuing education credit will be possible
  • A hands-on practical experience under the direction myself and Dr. Langberg will be the capstone experience for students who complete the entire training
    • Likely 2013 in an African context
  • A website providing free and homestudy CE materials for those unable to come to the Philadelphia area
  • Consultation groups formed for those seeking help with cases and projects in domestic and international trauma recovery

How is Dr. Langberg involved?

Dr. Diane Langberg is the leading Christian psychologist with expertise in trauma recovery. Her teaching has taken her to South America, the Caribbean, Africa, Asia, and Europe. Her books on sexual abuse remain popular with both clinicians and victims. She joins Biblical Seminary as a Clinical Faculty member (clinical faculty are practitioners who also lecture and train) and will have a leadership role in the shaping and delivery of the curriculum and trainings. It is safe to say that the counseling department has been most influenced by Dr. Langberg’s training and supervision.

How can I find out about these courses and consultation groups?

Until we launch the institute website, the best way to keep yourself informed is to do one of the following: subscribe to this blog where I will be posting updates; keep checking with www.biblical.edu for more information, or email me at pmonroeATbiblicalDOTedu and I will put your name on a growing list of those who want to be on our mailing list.

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Filed under "phil monroe", Abuse, Africa, biblical counseling, Biblical Seminary, christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity, counseling science, counseling skills, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, trauma

Helping that hurts?


Cover of "When Helping Hurts: Alleviating...

Cover via Amazon

At the recent PCA mercy conference, I attended Steve Corbett’s seminar on rethinking benevolence practices. If you are unfamiliar with Steve, if you are involved in mercy or diaconal ministries, you absolutely should read his book, When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty without Hurting the Poor. Or, go to this site if you want to know more about asset-based benevolence and the Chalmers Institute. The book and site will give you a clearer view of different kinds of poverty (material, being, purpose), the important distinctions between relief work, rehabilitation, and development work (and why pure relief may not be all that helpful outside of very immediate crises). What I found most helpful was his differentiation between need-based development (tends to focus on what is missing and outside resources can help) and asset-based development (which focuses more on existing assets that can be mobilized…and thus likely to be more sustainable).

Counseling that hurts?

We kindly Christians care about the world and about emotional, spiritual, cultural, and economic poverty. We want to help. Counselors want to help. It is necessary to review whether the help we offer is really all that helpful in moving individuals from passivity to activity. One of the hardest things to do in benevolence and counseling is to recognize when you are working harder than the one you are trying to help–and to then stop without withdrawing emotional support. For example, you counsel a person who is stuck in an abusive marriage. You so much want to help that person get to safety. But note several problematic responses

  • Coerce. Even though what you want (safety) is good, forcing someone to safety from a violent spouse is merely replicating abuse. Yes, paternalism and control, even when done for a good cause, merely replicates inappropriate authority in the life of another adult.
  • Ascribe motivation. When we get frustrated, we may desire to apply motives to the person.She doesn’t want to get out. She isn’t willing.In fact, it may be that she if afraid and cannot imagine a future outside of her current difficulty.
  • Reject. There are times when we have to walk away from a counselee. However, even when we do so, we ought to communicate an open invitation for help in the future from ourselves or someone else. We are not God. We do not make final judgments.

One of the most important things to remember is that even if a person rejects our advice, we are still offering help. We are giving them opportunity to consider a new way of thinking. We are helping them weigh pros and cons. We are one safe place. If they reject our help, we will be sad. But we ought not feel guilty.

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Helpful teacher responses to adult reports of their child abuse


Nearly every week we are hearing new stories of long hidden child abuse from adult survivors. When teachers and counselors hear of abuse of those who are minors, our first thoughts ought to go to the question of mandated reporting. Those who come into contact with children in some professional capacity (doctor, teacher, counselor, pastor, etc.) are required to report that abuse to the proper child protection authorities.

But what should teachers and pastors (non-counselors) do when an adult comes and reveals long-hidden victimization as a child? After receiving two similar questions in a week on this topic I posed the question to my colleague, Jenn Zuck. Jenn has a background in victim advocacy and is a counselor and teacher. Here were some of her recommendations (with a few changed by me):

  • Do:  Listen – Let the person tell their story without getting caught up in the details. It may seem scattered and fragmented. That is normal
  • Don’t: Judge – You are not the investigator, prosecutor, or judge. You do not need to make final judgments about what is being told to you. Do not assign any blame to the victim as nothing they did as a child excuses the abuse they experienced
  • Do: Know your responsibility
    • Reporting. Are faculty considered mandated reporters (child abuse, elder abuse, suicidal & homicidal expressions? If a 21-year-old reveals child sexual abuse and suggests another minor is in imminent danger from the abuser, do you have obligations to report
    • What are the school’s policies? Learn them
    • What are the best resources for the person? For example, police dept. numbers, child line numbers, counseling resources, victim service agencies info.
  • Don’t: Offer false promises. For example, “I will take care of it,” “It will all work out/be ok,” “You have nothing to worry about,” etc.
  • Do: Feel empathy, compassion, and care.
  • Don’t: Feel like you have to fix it/solve it, or have an immediate answer on what to do next. Instead, coach the person to seek appropriate help and to manage symptoms in classes. Also, don’t force the person to disclose the abuse to others.
  • Do:Listen for evidence of resilience, adaptation, and other strengths so that abuse is not the only defining feature of the person

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Taunting your Abuser?


Is it ever right to taunt your abuser? Is it Godly?

[WARNING: This is a thought experiment…not a recommendation!]

My wife is working on some presentations she’ll be making on the book of Habakkuk and so we have been looking at the book and talking about some of the difficulties in the text (She’s far more insightful on these things than I am!). The 2nd chapter contains a taunt against the oppressor/abuser Babylon. God is having a conversation with Habakkuk and the short version goes like this:

Habakkuk: Why are you allowing all this sin among your people? Do something!

God: I will. I’m sending Babylon and they will carry Judah off.

Habakkuk: Um…God…Babylon? Really? You do know they are like the most heathen people? You’re going to use the worst group of people in the world to judge us? You know we’re not THAT bad?

God: Yup. I’m going to do something that blows you away. I’m up to something you can’t even imagine. I know that Babylon is proud. And here are the taunts you and everyone else is going to throw at them when I judge them.

At this point God appears to give them words to use when the time comes. Consider 2:15-16

Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors, pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies. You will be filled with shame instead of glory. Now it is your turn! Drink and be exposed. The cup from the Lord’s right hand is coming around to you, and disgrace will cover your glory.

It would appear that God has no problem taunting humans in their rebellion and depravity. When God taunts, he is speaking truth. When we speak truth, along with God, about unrighteousness then maybe such a taunt is a possibility:

You’ve abused me but just you wait. God is in heaven above. He sees and he will judge. You will face the consequences of what you have done, either in this life or at the last day. There will be justice!

Just an Old Testament thing?

Are taunts only in the OT? Does Jesus do away with them when he tells us to love our enemies? Apparently loving one’s enemies does not mean not speaking a taunt. Notice that Luke records Jesus making ten different “woe to you” taunts against religious leaders and other unbelieving/arrogant people. Can Jesus be failing the second greatest commandment?

Clearly the taunts in the OT or Jesus’ curses of unbelieving religious leaders are not normative. We are not called to do this. But…maybe their existence does a couple of things for us.

  • Give Godly words for the private and possibly public comments made by victims of abuse (note: these words do not approve of revenge, bitterness, or other ungodly motivations. But desire for justice is a good and Godly desire and should be expressed!)
  • Allow others to validate victims’ experience of injustice without pressing for a quick Romans 8:28 response

A word of caution

Habakkuk 2 ends with a postscript to the 5 taunt songs against Babylon.

But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him

Judah was guilty of injustice (1:3). They did not have clean hands. They were not innocent. God did give them words of taunt to use against Babylon. Yet, before God they needed to be silent and humble. The cup of wrath that Babylon would drink is passed over God’s people–not because of their innocence but because of God’s providential love. Christ drinks to the dregs that cup of wrath in our stead. He gives us a better cup to drink.  It is far too easy to consider ourselves innocent and our enemies guilty. We ought to stand in silence and awe because we have not been treated as we rightly deserve.

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Filed under Abuse, biblical counseling, Biblical Reflection, christian counseling, Christianity, trauma, Uncategorized

Is your church prepared to handle an abuse allegation?


I’ve posted a blog for our Seminary’s faculty blog this morning. You can read it here. In it I give a few initial directions for churches seeking to prepare for the nightmare of an abuse allegation against a church member or leader. While these directions are very slim, they at least get congregations moving in the right direction. When we wait to decide how to act in a crisis situation, we are less likely to make good decisions. We may make decisions based on expediency, based on utility, or even based on quieting the problem (much like how the Catholic church handled their abuse cases).

For those wanting much more advice for church communities, consider taking our summer course on the subject: Preventing and Responding to Abuse in the Church.

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Summer counseling courses announced!


Biblical is offering 2 fantastic summer counseling courses for your consideration.  In both classes, you will walk away with practical tools! Both classes are hybrid (meaning you have both online and in person portions) and can be taken for 1 or 2 credits or for continuing education. Click the attached PDF  for more details: BIB-0112-BFINAL. The classes are:

One Session Coaching: Action Focused Change

Taught by Pam Smith, VP for Student Advancement and Coach

When? July 6-7 at Biblical Seminary: Who should take the course? Counselors and church leaders.

Abuse in the Church: Biblical, Legal, & Counseling Perspectives

Taught by my self and Boz Tchividjian (Liberty Law School, founder of GRACE, and a former child abuse prosecutor)

When? July 20-21 (at BranchCreek Church, Harleysville, PA) Who should take this course? Anyone who wants to see the church a safer place. Breakout sessions will focus on counselors and also church leaders.

Both courses are expected to fill up fast given their practical focus. Sign up ASAP by contacting either,

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The Journal of Biblical Counseling is Back!


Those of you familiar with the wider field of Biblical Counseling and of the leading role played by the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation may be interested to know that they have re-launched their popular journal after being on hiatus since 2007. the Journal of Biblical Counseling (v. 26) is available for FREE here on their website. You can download individuals articles or the entire issue for free, OR…you can order a print version for a fee if you would rather touch the pages.

I would especially point readers to Mike Emlet’s helpful essay on psychoactive medications, Julie Lowe’s essay on counseling children, or any of the book reviews. All well worth your time!

It may not be free for long so take advantage of this resource.

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Define peace? Define Joy?


There are certain words that are used within christian circles meant to communicate a particular mindset or way of living. Peace, joy, trust, love, faith are just a few of these kinds of words. We all know what we mean by these words, right? Or do we?

Consider “peace” for a minute. When you think of peace do you think of quietness? relaxation? calmness? Do you imagine lying in a hammock? Do you imagine total serenity?

Isaiah 26:3 says,

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Perfect peace. Is that peace on steroids? Is it possible to have this peace in the midst of a battle? When you just found out your job has been eliminated? Would such a peace look different from peace on a vacation?

Here’s a question: Does Jesus lack such “perfect peace” when he cries out from the cross, “My God, my God, Why have you forsaken me?” If you believe, as I do, that Jesus was sinless and did not cave to human frailties, you might need to re-imagine “perfect peace” and define it in such a way that you can have it and be in utter emotional agony at the same time.

So, if perfect peace is more complex, it stands to reason that joy within sorrow, trust within questions and love without feelings are all quite possible.

How would you define peace in light of the realities of suffering and abuse?

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Translating EFT into Christian Psychology? Publication notice


My friend and colleague Mike McFee (Eastern University) and I recently had an article published in the latest edition of the Journal of Psychology & Christianity (v. 30, pp 317-328). In it we tried to tackle how someone from a Christian Psychology perspective might interact with Emotion-Focused Therapy, a popular treatment protocol.

Here’s how we started our paper,

Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) is a rapidly growing treatment system offering empirically based treatment for couples and families. As with many current secular theories of psychology, EFT is embedded in humanistic assumptions which propose a few challenges to the Christian practitioner…. Using the methodology of Eric Johnson…this essay explores the practices of translating EFT into a Christian Psychology.

Next we identify a problem for counselors. We say that being christian and thinking christianly is supposed to influence all that we do. But, the truth is much of what goes on in Christian counseling doesn’t look that much different from counseling from markedly different ideologies. Both are compassionate and use similar techniques. The problem isn’t always bad integration but that we haven’t defined well the various levels of translation between two languages (i.e., humanistic founded EFT and Christian psychology).

The rest of the essay explores the two languages and 3 kinds of translation possibilities depending on the context and need, rather than is a one-size-fits-all approach. We conclude with a case example and actual dialog to show one kind of translation work.

What are the 3 kinds of translation? You’ll have to read if you want to know? There has to be SOME mystery, right?

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