Tag Archives: christian counseling

November 20, 2009 · 1:40 pm

Edwin Friedman on the search for solutions…


Consider Edwin Friedman’s counsel to leaders in book, A Failure of Nerve (Seabury Books, 2007)

In the search for the solution to any problem, questions are always more important than answers because the way one frames the question, or the problem,  already predetermines the range of answers one can conceive in response. (p. 37)

Seems true for counselors as well. How a counselor begins the exploration of a client’s problem narrows the field of answers as to the problem and solutions. Now, assumptions are always present–especially in questions. So, asking questions doesn’t keep the field of view open unless one is willing to ask questions not normally conceived. It is difficult to remember to ask questions that run counter to our initial hypotheses. And yet such questions are necessary if we are going to counsel actual individuals and not mere figments of our imaginations.

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November 13, 2009 · 4:00 am

When Sex in Marriage Doesn’t Work


Today is the first full day of the CCEF annual conference in Valley Forge, PA. The conference is entitled, “Sex Matters” and so all plenary and breakouts are on said theme. It is not too late to drop by if live in the area and want to register. I believe they will still take walk-ups.

Besides the faculty-led plenary sessions, Lauren Winner (Girl Meets God; Mudhouse Sabbath, & Real Sex) will speak on Saturday. For those of you who can’t come, CCEF sells mp3 downloads on their website.

I will be providing an hour long seminar entitled, “When Sex in Marriage Doesn’t Work” at 4 pm today. We will focus on desire, arousal, technique, and relationship problems (whether perceived, physical or emotional) couples sometimes encounter. Slides and an additional home-grown sex therapy questionnaire is available here (#16 on the list, scroll to the bottom).

The best part is that after I’m done, Biblical Seminary is hosting a pizza party for current students and alums (5:30p) at our information table.

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Filed under "phil monroe", biblical counseling, Biblical Seminary, CCEF, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling skills, Sex, sexuality

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November 12, 2009 · 3:33 am

On-line counseling courses through Biblical Seminary


Those interested in taking an on-line, graduate-level counseling course might wish to consider this new joint offering from my school, Biblical Seminary, and the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF).

Counseling in the Local Church (2 credits)

The course is taught by Dr. Tim Lane, Director of CCEF and runs from 1/18/2010 to 3/19/2010. It is completely on-line with mp3 lectures, assignments, and threaded discussions with others in the class. You can register here for this class. If you have Internet access and an undergraduate degree, you can take this class.

Later in Spring 2010 we will offer David Powlison’s Dynamics of Biblical Change.

CCEF started Biblical’s counseling program back in the mid 80s and has continued to lend their faculty to courses here and there at Biblical. They have been offering on-line and residential courses (non-accredited credits) for 25 years. In my personal opinion, our joint venture brings together quality biblical counseling and theological expertise with practical and professional counseling expertise!

Now, we have a chance to work together to provide on-line students with quality teaching from CCEF but now for academic credit. (You must have an undergraduate degree already)

What can you do with these credits? Well, for one, you could apply them to a number of Master’s degrees at Biblical. They could count as elective credits in our MA Ministry, MDiv, or MA Counseling program. Second, you might seek to have them transferred to your own local graduate school program. Biblical Seminary is ATS and Middle-States accredited and so will be considered a legitimate institution. However, you should know that every school sets its own polices regarding transfer of credits. Usually they look to see if the course fulfills a course they would have required in their own program. Remember that it is up to you to find out if they will transfer.

Or, you can just take them because you want to be enriched! We’d love to have you as a student!

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October 20, 2009 · 9:12 am

Diane Langberg on the web


Dr. Diane Langberg now has her own website. Check out www.dianelangberg.com for more information about her speaking (both schedule and available audios–both free and for purchase) and her counseling practice. You can see a list of her associates and their specialties. Her resources page has lots of good book, article, and website suggestions regarding a wide variety of issues.

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October 17, 2009 · 12:23 pm

The most important counselor capacity


Okay, so really there are a number of important counselor qualities and skills. You have to be able to be quiet and listen, to have good questions, and comments, to be able to follow a line of thinking, to have some idea of a goal, etc. But, maybe the most important quality is the ability to be self-reflective. Reflexive responses may be useful (these come from the gut) but they can be dangerous in that we have little thought and review of these kinds of responses.

At the retreat today I suggested that the unexamined life may create more opportunity for damage in counseling than the lack of knowledge of how to help a person. We may assume that our “truth-telling” capacity is good when it is really merely harsh. We may assume our “listening” skills are good when really, we are hiding from dealing with the big pink elephant in the room. We may think our advice and information is very important when really it merely exists to show off what we know.

We looked at Galatians 6:1f where we are called to help others by restoring gently, carrying burdens, and watching our own lives closely. (I got this from Paul Tripp some years ago). This passage shows where we may fail to care well for others.

Of course, there is also the danger of the over-examined life. Such a life leads to rumination, anxious second-guessing, and paralysis by analysis.

Retreat is going well, but wet and cold…

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October 15, 2009 · 5:03 am

Vernick on Domestic Violence.


Leslie Vernick wrote a nice summary posting on domestic violence at http://www.christianpsych.org. Read her comments here. She reminds us the truth about domestic violence and how Christians ought to respond to it.

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October 9, 2009 · 9:06 am

Christian slander


How easy it is to slander other Christians, to paint them in the worst possible light. We see something out of place in someone’s life and repeat that story to others. While it may be a true story, does it really capture them in totality? Does it provide the best review of their value and personhood? What do we gain by repeating these true but incomplete stories?

In my world, it is very easy to do this with public figures. I find myself tempted to do so when I see a public figure giving a terrible lecture or training. I want to point out their superficiality, their mis-representation of either psychology or christianity. And while I do believe there ought to be room for critique and wise review of public works, it is easy to cross the line into slander.

How do you evaluate whether you are giving a careful critique or have lapsed into slander? APA format in writing allows us to make a statement about another and conclude it with a “citation.” For example, “Monroe (2009) believes that Christianity and psychology are one and the same.” Note that I do not even need to give real evidence in my citation. I only have to cite an entire book. You can take me at face value and conclude I’m a lunatic.

Where I struggle is when I am critiquing with substance what I believe to be a problem in someone’s work, how do I do so without vilifying their entire body of work. Someone may indeed write heresy. I can call it out but does the reader get the impression that I believe that everything the person has said is suspect? The same goes for a preacher who is later discovered to have been in an affair. Does this invalidate his prior sermons?

Tough questions. Few answers. My impression is that it is so easily possible to do good and do evil at the same time. That our motives in pointing out others’ mistakes are of utmost importance. So, I can be right in my critique and entirely wrong in my doing it.

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September 21, 2009 · 12:02 pm

AACC revisited


Not much time today for any significant posting on psychological assessment and/or the AACC world conference I’ve just returned from. 5 Days away from home leaves way too much other stuff to do!

However, here’s one small reaction question I pondered on the plane ride home: Which is better: a conference where I agree with most speakers, OR, one where there is wide diversity and quality of work (and some work that is downright bogus)?

I attend two different counseling conferences. One really scrutinizes speakers and makes sure they are in agreement with the organizing agency. The other seems to let any counselor teach if they can write a decent proposal and outcomes statement. The first one protects from outrageous presentations but most likely limits new voices and/or progressive ideas. The second one gives many ideas an opportunity but the listener bears the responsibility to figure out whether the speaker has any basis for their opinion.

Now, I don’t know this for sure, but I’m guessing the first one suffers from highly critical followers who make sure that no speaker ventures too far from home. And I also guessing that the second group has a large following that does not discern truth from simplistic pop psychology.

So, which is better? The first one rarely ruffles my feathers. The second one has speakers that make me want to scream but also  exposes me to new ideas and research.

As I said, I’m not sure which I prefer. Both tempt me to have arrogant thoughts…which reveals more about me I suppose.

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September 18, 2009 · 5:13 am

Engaging Biblical Texts in Trauma Therapy


Today I present my 1 hour CE training at the AACC conference. In this presentation I briefly review (a) complex PTSD and its typical symptom presentation, (b) material from my recently published work on best practices for using Scripture in counseling. Then I consider the particular application to therapy with trauma survivors. The goal is not get individuals to believe the truth but to experience it via the interpersonal relationship of therapy.

If you are interested in more, see the pptx slides I have up on my page “Articles, Slides, Etc.” (# 15 on the list).

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September 17, 2009 · 12:34 am

Seen and Heard at AACC


The 2009 conference is underway. Loads of people here. Way too many for my taste. But, then I did run into three former students (Jane, Barb, and Bayo) and I saw some colleagues I haven’t seen for some time. Even better, I ran into Bishop Alex and Leah (my host and compatriot in Rwanda).

After my own presentation I went to an ethics seminar to fulfill one of my CE requirements due in November. Found out that AACC is coming out with a new code in 2010. Among a number of changes they are including will be a new section on ecounseling and another on disclosures about HIV/AIDS status. Apparently, more states are considering those with HIV who also are known to be having unprotected sex to be putting life at risk and so that triggers counselors’ duty to warn and protect (to notify 3rd parties of imminent life risk) just as we would if our clients threatened to kill another. There is a catch. If I breach confidentiality to warn a 3rd party about a murder threat, I cannot be held liable by the client if I breached in good faith. However, I have no protection from liability in revealing HIV status that is being used as a weapon. Seems the duty is still discretionary.

Tonight I did two things I don’t normally do. First, I walked very slowly around the exhibit hall and really looked at what people were selling/promoting. I must say, I’m not much of a fan of Christian pop. Not all was that, but some definitely. Everybody has a book or an angle that solves life’s problems. It is hard for me not to be cynical in that room. Hence why I don’t go there. But, I know my assessment is not completely fair. I am sure that many have very good materials. I’m only admitting that I hate the sales aspect. (I used to buy all of the candy bars I was required to sell for my high school track team just so I wouldn’t have to sell any).

Second, I sat through the whole plenary. Normally, I show up just in time for the featured speaker (Piper tonight). I have to say I did enjoy the worship more this time around and Newsong and Amy Grant. Seeing her brought back memories of being a young teen and thinking she a very attractive 20 something. Well, she still has that good voice and looks. It was just her and her guitar. I found that much more to my liking that if she had come out with a whole band…

The day is over and so we’ll see what tomorrow brings…

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