This question is a bit like asking if you know whether the sky is blue. Of course you know a ministry leader couple who could use a retreat specifically designed to encourage them! The Haft, situated in the Northern Poconos, is running just such a retreat for no more than 7 pastor/leader couples on October 2-4, 2012.
I have had a part of developing this retreat format and highly recommend it for anyone who might wish to catch their breath with a few other like-minded couples. Going doesn’t mean you are burned out (though you might be) or that you are on the verge of collapse (though you might be). Going means you want to sustain your ministry trajectory.
Check out the link above to see more information about the location and some great pics of the place. I’ve been there a couple of times and find the buildings and the surrounding countryside very refreshing. Even if you are unable to attend this event, you can work with them to set up your own personal retreat.
Okay, so really there are a number of important counselor qualities and skills. You have to be able to be quiet and listen, to have good questions, and comments, to be able to follow a line of thinking, to have some idea of a goal, etc. But, maybe the most important quality is the ability to be self-reflective. Reflexive responses may be useful (these come from the gut) but they can be dangerous in that we have little thought and review of these kinds of responses.
At the retreat today I suggested that the unexamined life may create more opportunity for damage in counseling than the lack of knowledge of how to help a person. We may assume that our “truth-telling” capacity is good when it is really merely harsh. We may assume our “listening” skills are good when really, we are hiding from dealing with the big pink elephant in the room. We may think our advice and information is very important when really it merely exists to show off what we know.
We looked at Galatians 6:1f where we are called to help others by restoring gently, carrying burdens, and watching our own lives closely. (I got this from Paul Tripp some years ago). This passage shows where we may fail to care well for others.
Of course, there is also the danger of the over-examined life. Such a life leads to rumination, anxious second-guessing, and paralysis by analysis.
Retreat is going well, but wet and cold…