Blogging your REAL feelings?


Blogs are great forums for folks to share their true thoughts and feelings…but also easy opportunities to make enemies! Not too long ago, a local high school teacher got herself in trouble when she revealed her true feelings about some of her students. While she didn’t name names, she did levy some pretty serious put downs about kids in her school and as a result is no longer in the classroom.

Not too long ago, someone read my blog and took offense at something they thought I was saying. While I wasn’t saying what they thought I was saying, the truth is I left the door wide open by not being all that clear–leaving something unsaid when discussing a controversial topic can get you into trouble as well as what you do say.

For those of you who blog your feelings and opinions (isn’t that what blogs are for?)  and/or comments on other people’s blogs…do you have any criteria by which you evaluate what you are willing to write?

Here are a couple of mine that I try to keep (though I admit I haven’t always done so):

1. Don’t write to instigate conflict just because you can. We academic types sometimes like to stir of “intellectual” controversy for the fun of it. This doesn’t meet the standard of saying only that which is constructive (Eph 4:29f) for others. Constructive doesn’t mean noncontroversial. But, I need to ask whether what I want to talk about is wholesome and for the benefit of those who listen. If not, I shouldn’t open my mouth.

2. Avoid gossip. This should be obvious. But, I also think it isn’t necessary to jump on public figures who screw up unless there is something I think we can all learn. For example, do we need to discuss the latest actor who is destroying his or her life with drugs? What benefit do we get by musing about the lurid details of the person’s life?

3. Re-read what you write from the perspective of those who might disagree with you. Did you accurately portray the opinions of others? For example, portraying Republicans as not caring a bit about the poor or Democrats as only interested in taxing you to death isn’t accurate.

4. Just because you think or feel it doesn’t make it worthy of sharing. One sign of narcissism is the willingness to share any and every thought or feeling. And yes, I realize I am incriminating myself since I write a blog.

Others?

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Why Jonah was and is still wrong


You probably already heard the news that Fred Phelps and his family, aka Westboro Baptist Church, won their Supreme Court case yesterday. If you are unfamiliar with this case, read/listen to NPR’s news story on the sordid history. The short summary is this. The Phelps family believes that “sodomites” and their supporters (America) are going to hell. This particular belief is not all that rare. But what makes the Phelps family stand out is, (a) their belief about what God is calling them to do about the problem, and (b) their tactics of protesting at funerals of servicemen and women and other public figures. A father of a dead soldier sued the Phelps for causing him pain and suffering when they picketed outside his son’s funeral. Among their picket signs about homosexuality were signs such as “Thank God for dead soldiers”. A lower court agreed with the father’s suit and awarded the father 5 million dollars in damages. Yesterday the Supreme Court reversed that decision saying that hurtful speech is still protected speech.

The NPR coverage goes beyond the usual coverage and attempts to detail some of the Phelps’ theological beliefs and or motivations for their hateful speech. I found it very interesting since usually they are just (rightly) labeled as nut-cases. Some of their thinking:

  • It is their job to try to make American’s angry, to reject God and be damned to hell
  • “Our job is laid out,” she says, in comments sprinkled with biblical references. “We are supposed to blind their eyes, stop up their ears and harden their hearts so that they cannot see, hear or understand, and be converted and receive salvation.” (quote from NPR story)

Why the Phelps are wrong: A quick look at how we are to respond to sinners

If NPR has captured their motivations and beliefs accurately, then they have made a couple of significant errors.

1. Whose job is it to damn, blind, and judge?

At the last day, God will indeed judge the world. He will separate sheep from goats. There will likely be surprises in heaven (last minute conversions and people we thought were going to be there but were really wolves in sheep’s clothing). Sometimes God sends prophets to preach to the condemned. True enough. But, the prophets preach the need to repent and/or the coming judgment. God does say to Ezekiel that his hearers won’t listen to him preach the need or repentance. But, preach repentance he must.

Or consider Jonah. Jonah is called to preach to Nineveh. His job is to preach. And this is what bothers Jonah. Jonah knows that God is a merciful God and will forgive. That is what bothers him; he wants Nineveh to suffer! The Phelps want America to suffer.

2. The message? Do the Phelps want people to be converted and get into heaven? By the quotes above you would have to answer an emphatic NO. Seems they might be afraid to find that heaven is filled with all sorts of sinners (maybe even pride-filled, angry, protesting, mean-spirited people?). Paul says gives a list of sins and says, “and such as were some of you” as he writes to believers. Let us remember that heaven will be filled with sinners. Yes, those sinners have been forgiven and are living lives of daily repentance and turning from their sin. But sinners they are right up to the moment of entering heaven.

How do we respond to sinners? How do we respond to ourselves? Pray, converse, eat with, and care for. Oh, and yes, talk about the only way to righteousness. Following Jesus’ example is a good start!

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Filed under Cultural Anthropology, news, News and politics

What causes mental illness and do you have any choice?


The common medical assumption is that mental illness is the result of multi-faceted vulnerabilities in combination with stressors. A person may have some vulnerability markers but those alone are not likely to result in mental illness without biologic, social, or environmental stressors “turning on” the markers.

If you want to see this model in action, you should watch a most troubling episode of “Independent Lens” on your local PBS channel. It aired in Philadelphia last night. You can find more about the episode here on their website and watch clips of the show.

The hour long episode follows a 16 year old girl, Cyntoia, facing life for murder. You will see extended conversation with the girl, her adoptive mother, her biological mother (who she never really related to). Her bio mother drank throughout her pregnancy, smoked crack and prostituted herself. Cyntoia was being prostituted and was at a “john’s” house when she shot him thinking he was going to kill her.

You can see that Cyntoia probably meets criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. Watch her mother for a bit and you can see that she comes by it quite naturally. They both have a similar pattern of speech and attitude. There is a long history of suicide and paranoia in the extended family. Very interesting to see how this young woman talks to the forensic psychiatrist.

Choices?

Watch and wonder how Cyntoia could have avoided her predicament. She started out with poor genes, alcohol exposure and poor attachment opportunities. She lists 36 people she had sex with (she felt obligated to have sex with those who wanted her). The issues are legion.

Even more brutal is to watch the interviews with her adoptive mother who is trying to wrap her head around the facts that come out during the investigation. Watch also how Cyntoia talks about her and to her. Notice that there is love.

Very rarely would you get this kind of information from 3 generations of rape and sexual abuse (and adoptive mother’s story).

Watch the episode and consider this question: just how much choice do some people have? Even with her incredible insights (e.g., “everybody wants admiration, everybody wants to be desired. That is my **** problem too.”), this young woman had 3 strikes against her.

The truth is we often believe people have easy choices to avoid trouble. Cyntoia’s story reminds us that trouble begins generations before some people are conceived.And even when we acknowledge that Cyntoia could have made choices to tell adults about her abuse or to escape her pimp, we are left with the gnawing question, would we have made any different choice if in her place? For the record, I am a firm believer in that we do have choices to make. But some have a whole lot more than others and the roadsigns to better choices are bigger for some of us than others.

Challenging story which also pulls on your vision of redemption, restoration and appropriate punishment for minors who commit murder.

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Filed under Abuse, addiction, cultural apologetics, Psychology, stories, suffering

Last Reminder! Sign up now for our Sex Trafficking and Sexual Abuse Conference


Biblical Seminary’s March 17-19 conference on sex trafficking and sexual abuse in Christian communities is filling up. We have space for only 400 attendees. You do NOT want to miss a chance to interact with Dr. Diane Langberg, Bethany Hoang (IJM), Pearl Kim (ADA of Delaware Cty), and Robert Morrison (founder of FREE). If you have been thinking about attending this conference, sign up now. All the information you need about who, what, when, and where is found here. Registration is free and those who would also like academic credit or CEs can see what additional costs and work are required can use the previous link to get more information.

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Filed under Abuse, Biblical Seminary, christian counseling, Christianity, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Abuse of Adderall?


For those with significant ADHD symptoms (distractability, impulsivity, difficulty completing tasks, difficulty organizing, etc.) stimulant medication is a necessary part of life.

But stimulants help everyone focus, whether they need it or not. Check out this article about the abuse of Adderall at the U. of Wisconsin. Click here.

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Strengths profile


I’m advising one of our DMin students on his dissertation. He is researching how the use of Gallup’s Strengthfinders assessments and some training materials from World Harvest Mission might help build better functioning ministry teams.

This is my first time getting to see how the Strengthfinders works. So, Drew, the student, gave me the assessment. This tool returns the top five strengths themes (out of 34) based on my answers to the questions on the test. Here is my Gallup profile (in order of strength) with a few descriptive sentences:

Relator

Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people—in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends—but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine.

Individualization

Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. You instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships. You hear the one-of-a-kind stories in each person’s life. Because you are such a keen observer of other people’s strengths, you can draw out the best in each person. This Individualization theme also helps you build productive teams. While some search around for the perfect team “structure” or “process,” you know instinctively that the secret to great teams is casting by individual strengths so that everyone can do a lot of what they do well.

Strategic

The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, “What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?” This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into resistance. You discard the paths that lead into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path—your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: “What if?” Select. Strike.

Intellection

You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person’s feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.

Learner

You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

Pretty good description I think…I like to relate to a small group of people. I like getting deep with a few. I enjoy the work of seeing the individual differences of friends, staff, clients, etc. I’m pretty good at getting a plan of action going right away. I’m not so good at carrying it out because I love to think and learn and so new information is always available and since I like to think about a wide diversity of things, it can be hard to stay focused on any one thing for too long. 

What I like about this particular tool is that it looks at a variety of strengths rather than personality traits.

Anybody have experience with this tool?

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Filed under counseling, counseling science, personality, Psychology, Uncategorized

One treatment protocol for many DSM diagnoses?


Could we devise one mental health treatment for many counseling problems? Given that so many problems have similar symptoms (anxiety, mood dysregulation, vigilance, intrusive and unwanted thoughts, etc.) and appear to involve common neurobiological processes (limbic systems), might we be able to find a single treatment for multiple expressions of problems?

David Barlow and others say yes.

The Renfrew Center (an eating disorder clinic) publishes Perspectives: A Professional Journal of the Renfrew Center Foundation, a free journal. In their Winter 2011 issue they have a brief article by David Barlow and Christina Boisseau about a new “transdiagnostic unified treatment protocol” (UP) that can be applied to all anxiety and depressive (and eating) disorders. Let me summarize a few points from the article:

  • 70 to 80% of clients with eating disorders also have anxiety disorders, 50% meet criteria for depression
  • A number of anxiety and depressive disorders have emotional dysregulation as a central theme
  • Etiology of these diagnoses may be best accounted for by “triple vulnerability theory”: biological vulnerability to negative mood…early negative childhood experiences due to attachment issues or unpredictable environment leading to an elevated sympathetic nervous system…and psychological learning from an event focusing on a particular issue (anxiety, panic, observation of parent’s panic, etc.)
  • The Unified Protocol (UP) focuses on “the way that individuals with emotional disorders experience and respond to their emotions” (p. 3). UP consists of 5 core modules
    • emotional awareness training (focus on “nonjudgmental present-focused awareness”)
    • cognitive reappraisal (“identifying and subsequently challenging core cognitive themes”)
    • emotion driven behaviors (EDB) and emotional avoidance (identifying maladaptive EDBs, learn new responses and avoid avoiding emotions)
    • awareness and tolerance of physical sensations (self-explanatory…as they relate to emotions)
    • emotion exposure (“…goal is to help patients experience emotions fully and reduce the avoidance that has served to maintain their disorders(s)”)
  • These modules are flexible and shaped to the individual needs of the client

Obviously, there is much work to be done to validate this protocol but it makes sense. You can see the CBT foundation but also a greater focus on emotion rather than cognition.

Those interested in the full text and references can find it here!

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Filed under Anxiety, counseling, counseling science, cultural apologetics, Doctrine/Theology, Psychology

In technology we trust?


Pretty true isn’t it? We trust electrical current to be available when we flip the light switch. We trust that the water we get out of our taps won’t be carrying disease. We trust that when we get to the checkout line at the grocery, the cashier will be able to take our debit card.

Most of our trust is below our daily awareness….until we face a new technology or lose one we use every day. Last week I made a quick trip by air to another city. I had to rent a car to get to a meeting about an hour away from the airport. Since I was traveling to a new location I decided to splurge and pay a little extra to get a GPS unit. Now, I know the rest of you probably already own one of these devices but this was my first time using one. So, instead of getting out my pre-printed Google map directions and trying to memorize the turns, I turned on the unit and put my trust in it to get me to my destination.

I knew I needed to go south, but I did not know the roads I needed to use. Well, the GPS put me through my paces. “Turn left…bear right…continue on…in .9 miles.” But, when I began going east and then told to get off the highway and onto an extremely rural back road I wasn’t sure anymore. My distrust only grew when my lovely assistant told me, “re-calculating” even while I continued to follow her every direction. Maybe she wasn’t as wise as I thought she was. Or, maybe I typed in the wrong address.

It was at this moment that I wondered what it was like for Abraham as he traveled from his home in Ur to some new home in what is now Israel. Like me with my GPS screen, he could see the road in front of him without being able to see the destination. The Lord tends to open doors for us but we often have no clear picture of where we are going and what the “roads” will be like. We are required to trust that we can keep going forward and not get lost.

At a stop I took a moment to check out my unit a bit more. I found out I could change the screen and see more of my destination. To my relief I found that I was indeed moving in the right direction and had just 20 minutes left to get to where I was going.

With all our technologies, we can “see” a lot. I am personally thankful for the imaging technologies that helped us know what we were facing with my wife’s cancer. Some day we may be able to see who is really likely to have dementia and be able to alter their lives before getting sick.

But these great technologies cannot tell us how our lives will turn out, how relationships will change, or what opportunities and struggles the Lord will bring our way. For these things, we must trust God or try to go it alone.

I for one am glad that there is one technology that allows us to scan out to the end and see that no matter what troubles and trials are in our path…we know the end point…heaven.

And now back to trusting in technology as I push “publish”.

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Report on sexual violence in the DRC


I’m coming late to this but just finished reading an April 2010 report on the problem of rape in the Eastern Democratic Republic of Congo. The report is supported by Oxfam and is written by the Harvard Humanitarian Initiative. You can read the 66 page report or quick overview by clicking here.

What they document (between years of ’04 and ’08) is a retrospective study of 4,311 rape victims at post-rape interview at Panzi Hospital in South Kivu area (well-known for their pelvic surgeries to repair fistulae caused by rape). The results indicate that while war-related rape may be decreasing, there is an over 1700% increase in civilian rape. Evidence of a culture change as a result of a war?

Very difficult read. Most victims were gang raped at night, in their homes, in front of their families. Necessary for those who want to understand the experiences of these women. Most of the efforts to help are about either (a) surgical repair or (b) economic recovery. This makes total sense since these are the top two issues victims face (often victims are abandoned by their families or lost their families during the rapes). But what to do about psychological trauma? What works for these women who do not have the time nor the money to go to therapy?

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Filed under Abuse, Congo, counseling science, suffering

More on Narcissism


Hadn’t read my Monitor on Psychology (Feb 2011 edition) til this morning and saw that the cover story is on the possible rise of narcissism in young folk these days. Now, this magazine is popular and doesn’t go too deep into reporting on research…and I haven’t followed up on the studies to read them for myself, but…

  • one study has 80% of middle school students scoring higher on self-esteem in ’06 than ’88
  • Another shows an increase in the lifetime prevalence of NPD
  • However, no nationally representative samples comparisons have been done to really shed light on whether a rise is truly taking place
  • One meta study of 85 studies (between ’82 and ’06) suggests an increase of narcissism among college students

The article goes on to muse about whether materialism and social networking lead the way toward narcissism but also wonders whether the decrease in availability to easy credit will lower the self-promoting trend a bit.

In an ironic twist, it appears that the DSM 5 may not include NPD as a diagnosis. Rather. It will include a more general diagnosis (see below taken from the DSM5.0rg site). Strangely, one of the “types” is NOT narcissism.

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in identity and sense of self and in the capacity for effective interpersonal functioning. To diagnose a personality disorder, the impairments must meet all of the following criteria:

A.    A rating of mild impairment or greater in self and interpersonal functioning on the Levels of Personality Functioning.

B.    Associated with a “good match” or “very good match” to a personality disorder type or with a rating of “quite a bit like the trait” or “extremely like the trait” on one or more personality trait domains.

C.    Relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D.    Not better understood as a norm within an individual’s dominant culture.

E.    Not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

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Filed under counseling, counseling science, personality, Psychology