November 20, 2012 · 6:05 pm

Praying for Goma


Last year I had the privilege of touring Goma (search Congo 0r Goma or DRC in my search engine above) in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC). It is a city on the northern edge of Lake Kivu and on the border with Rwanda. Residents of Goma (and all of the displaced persons) have known much tragedy, especially since 1994 when the genocide in Rwanda spilled over into the DRC. There have been African multicountry wars, ethnic conflicts, rampant poverty, corruption, an ineffective central government…and now, today, it has fallen into the hands of a relatively small band of rebels called M23.

If you are like most, you find the regions somewhat confusing. You’ve heard about the area being deemed the rape capitol of the world. You’ve heard it is an area rich in minerals. You may have heard recently that Rwanda has been accused of supporting the M23 group. But, you probably find it hard to keep the various acronyms clear in your mind and the situation in Gaza and Israel get most of the conflict attention these days.

Please pray for those in the DRC. Pray for rescue. Pray that the international community will care about them and put proper pressure on the various parties. Pray for the restraint of evil. And if you would like more information, read this link: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2012/11/20/a-guide-to-understanding-whats-happening-in-congo/

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November 16, 2012 · 4:22 pm

Things you won’t hear often in graduate counseling programs


In my last post I made mention of Dr. Langberg’s presentations last Monday night. One of her talks was entitled, “Ten Things About Counseling You Don’t Usually Hear in Graduate School.” At some point we may be able to upload video of that talk but just to whet your appetite, here are a couple of her 10 items,

  • Counseling is not nice. Most people get into the counseling business because they want to help people and because others have indicated that they have a gift for listening. Without being negative about the work of counseling, Dr. Langberg reminded us that to counsel with others is to invite garbage into your life. People don’t come to counseling to talk about the good things…
  • Similarly, the stuff of counseling is contagious; it will change you.
  • Counseling will expose you. It will expose your limits of patience, rationality, and love. It will expose your baser reasons for being a counselor.
  • Christian counseling is doing God’s work. It is not our work.
  • Christian counseling is doing God’s work for him (not for ourselves or others).

Just a taste. But she concluded with this call,

Listen acutely. Study avidly. Be the Word.

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November 15, 2012 · 9:01 am

The problem of abuse and avoidance of grief


Last Monday night we had the privilege of having Dr. Diane Langberg on campus to speak to our counseling students. One of the 4 talks she did was entitled, “The Spiritual Impact of Child Sexual Abuse.” She stated that it was material that she developed after publishing her book, Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse. As you can imagine, she gave us a very powerful talk. But of all the things she said, one idea seemed to hit students and faculty alike. I do not have her quoted here but rather the essence,

  • Grief may be the most powerful emotion in sexual abuse survivors, more powerful than the pain of the abuse
  • Most clients work really hard to avoid grief; encouraging good grief is difficult work

I’m not doing justice to her thoughts here. But, I think she nails it. Sexual abuse destroys relationships, faith, trust, identity, and physical bodies. To grieve is to name and acknowledge what was lost, broken, stolen, etc. and to admit that many of the broken things cannot be restored in this life–at least to the levels that we desire. The work of counseling surely includes coming to a correct understanding about guilt, shame, love, boundaries. The work of counseling is about reconnecting with God and others. The work of counseling is about rebuilding identity. But, all of these activities require grieving what did take place, grieving what was lost (real or symbolic).

Most of us, whether we have suffered abuse or not, would rather not sit with grief. And so, we run. However, if the heart of God is shown in lament for the world that is not as it should be, then we ought not to run from grief.

May God show us how to lament and live in peace at the same time.

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November 14, 2012 · 11:30 am

Narcissism in the Bible? A sermon by Philip Ryken


A few weeks ago, I attended a conference at Westminster Seminary (Philadelphia) where Dr. Philip Ryken was speaking/preaching. Dr. Ryken is a friend from our student days at WTS and is now the president of Wheaton College. His sermon was on the first 10 verses of 1 Kings 1. While the purpose of the talk was not to identify narcissism in the bible, the passage clearly points to egocentrism and all of the distortions and deceptions that come with building one’s own kingdom.

In the passage we see that Adonijah sets himself up as king even has his father, David, is still alive. What does he do that reveals narcissism?

  1. “I will be King.” He demands power
  2. He does not know humility or correction (sadly the passage says that his father never confronted him thus probably building egocentrism)
  3. He gathers people of influence to promote his position
  4. He buys an entourage to improve his public standing
  5. He gives the illusion of submission and faith (sacrificing sheep to look like he is doing the right thing)
  6. He makes sure not to include people who will speak the truth (does not invite Nathan the prophet)

Let me encourage you to listen (for free) to Dr. Ryken’s message as he describes in better fashion these features of building our own kingdom.

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November 11, 2012 · 9:57 pm

The duty to confront your friends


You’ve probably read about the recent resignation of David Petraeus as Director of the CIA. While we could chalk this up to another episode of “be sure your sins will find you out” and explore the features of his downfall from squeaky clean (by appearance) to cheater, there is another angle you might consider. In the Sunday Philadelphia Inquirer, the paper included a sidebar to the story telling of several colleagues and friends who recognized a problem long before it came out. They saw some things that didn’t look right, that didn’t fit with his character. They saw him being too chummy and spending too much time with “the other woman.”

The big question: did they bother to confront him? The story doesn’t tell us this, but it surely is the question we ought to be asking, not only of them, but also of ourselves. When we see friends acting in ways that appear out of line, do we love them enough to tell them so? Do we love them enough to risk losing the relationship should they become angry with us? I, for one, have been guilty of not saying something when I saw a friend spending more time with a colleague than is wise. I have no idea if my friend engaged in inappropriate behavior. But even when someone doesn’t engage in sexual activity with someone other than their spouse, this does not mean the person isn’t putting their life, their marriage, their soul in grave danger. Emotional affairs have torn apart marriages just as physical affairs do.

We have a duty to not let our fear of man get in the way when we see things that signal to us a problem. We don’t need to become accusatory, but a few loving questions (and more than just one!) are in order.

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November 8, 2012 · 5:05 pm

5 Approaches to Counseling and Christianity


There was a recent conference in Tennessee where the authors of the recently published, “Five Approaches to Counseling and Christianity” (IVP) presented their approaches, dialogued with each other, and showed brief vignettes of their counseling model in action. You might like to see some of the papers and slide presentations by each of the authors. Do so by following this link. At the bottom of each bio, you can find the link to their presentation. They do not have the video clips of counseling available. I, for one, hope they make them available for sale. Despite the diversity of theories, I suspect their actual counseling activities do not differ all that much.

Phil

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November 8, 2012 · 9:11 am

Animated Short Movie About Trafficking


For those interested in anti-trafficking media, you might check out this almost 4 minute animated movie about woman in Africa lured into a sex trafficking trap. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVYqlUU_u2I

Warning: while it contains no graphic visual material, the content of the video may still be triggering for some.

UPDATE: I believe this link contains the full 6 minute movie: http://www.ecpat.org.uk/blog/dangerous-journey

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November 7, 2012 · 5:28 am

Do you see or hear things that do not exist?


English: Neurologist and writer Oliver Sacks a...

English: Neurologist and writer Oliver Sacks at the 2009 Brooklyn Book Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What does it mean if you hear things that no one else hears? Sees things that no one else sees? Does it mean you are having a spiritual experience? Or, do you have some form of psychotic disorder?Thanks to a student (HT Heather), I submit for your reading pleasure a NY Times essay by Oliver Sacks. Dr. Sacks suggests there may be some other possible reasons why you might hear or see or feel something that isn’t heard, seen, or felt by others. In fact, he points to research that a large portion of those who do have these experiences never tell others or doctors about them for fear of being labeled falsely with schizophrenia.

Ever had either hypnogogic or hypnopompic hallucinations (ones that happen just as you fall asleep or awaken)? Did is scare you? Can you imagine telling others about it? If you find these kinds of unusual experiences interesting, I encourage you to read any of Dr. Sacks’ books.

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November 6, 2012 · 5:42 am

The purpose of retreats in counselor education?


I have another post over at the Biblical Seminary faculty blog describing three reasons why we require our counseling students to attend our program retreat each fall.

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November 4, 2012 · 9:40 pm

The priority of relationships in the mission of God


I teach at a missional seminary. You might wonder what “missional” is all about. Well, I’ve tried to articulate why missional is all about redemptive and redeeming relationships. Such relationships change the ways we relate to those we seek to serve, whether here in the U.S. or in any other part of the world. To read a bit about how missional relates to serving others in Africa, read this post over at the Biblical Seminary faculty blog. It came out on Halloween but Hurricane Sandy made her appearance a few days earlier so I doubt many saw this.

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