Category Archives: christian psychology

May 7, 2009 · 5:05 pm

Getting it or acting it?


There are some things I want my kids to learn. Typical stuff. Like not eating with their mouths open, picking up after themselves, that name-calling isn’t a form of “good fun” or excused if the other started it first. You know, simple things boys need help with.

Here’s a dilemma. My kids probably don’t really understand why these things are good to do. Do I really care? Sort of. I patiently tell (lecture, really) them why such and such behavior is a good idea and other behaviors are not. But, in the short run, I’d prefer them to just eat with their mouth closed and say only nice things–whether they get it or not.

I think we can relate this to our own lives. Sometimes we just don’t get WHY we need to do something (like put up with an annoying co-worker) but go about doing what is right. Insight may come later or it may not, but we can take comfort it knowing we honored God with our actions.

Here’s where it gets tougher. What if our loved one acted in a loving way to us but we knew they didn’t really get why it was important, just that we wanted them to do a particular thing (e.g., pick up clothes off the floor, wait to bring complaints up at an agreed upon time, etc.)? Would you care if they acted right but didn’t get they reasons why?

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May 5, 2009 · 5:54 am

Rwanda!


My on again off again trip is now on. I have tickets and yesterday I got my shots! Our small group of psychologists (4) will be leaving on June 22 and returning July 1. We will be going as the guests of the Right Rev. Alexis Bilindabagbo, Anglican Bishop of the Gahini diocese. You can learn a bit about him here.

We will be meeting with pastors, government officials, victims, and perpetrators of the 1994 genocide. Our goal is to immerse ourselves into the culture to learn how best to provide trauma training and counseling education at the graduate level for pastors and key leaders of the church right in Rwanda. While we know quite a bit about trauma and counseling training, we wish to avoid the mistakes of assuming we know best what this particular people need and what works within their cultural milieu.

I hope to be able to give you more details as the time approaches and to blog from Rwanda when I have Internet access.

FYI, each of us are paying our own way. Some donors at Biblical Seminary gave generously to underwrite a small portion of the trip. Further, the American Association of Christian Counselors is helping to sponsor this trip. So, if someone wants to give to the trip, I’m sure we can find a way to provide you a receipt for tax purposes :). Email me at pmonroe[at] biblical [dot]com and we’ll figure it out.

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May 4, 2009 · 1:26 pm

Practicum Monday: counseling mistakes?


I’d like to compile a list of mistakes mostly likely to be made by novicecounselors. In the past I’ve written on some of the mistakes or foolish behavior of counselors and some of you have helped contribute stories like the counselor who fell asleep during the session, the counselor who ate a meal, who tried to set the counselee up with a son or daughter, the counselor who took phone calls, etc. Most of these mistakes wouldn’t be made by the typical counselor, even one who had never counseled before.

So, what are the most common mistakes of the novice counselor? Not sure, here are some I’ve observed:

1. Failing to collect enough data during the first sessionto assess matters of suicidality or mental status. Novice counselors tend to either drill too deep on one topic (and so miss other important matters) or stay on the surface and fail to ask questions they think might embarrass the client

2. Promising too much. We want the client to have hope and we hope they don’t see us as novice, so we promise the world. Such temptations lead sometimes to offering our phone number to call at all hours, to agreeing to meet outside of sessions, too allowing sessions to go beyond the planned limit.

3. Encouraging. Beginning Christian counselors sometimes fail to let the counselee sit with their pain. Instead, they trot out verses to comfort and encourage. Often, these passages fall flat without their intended result.  

4. Writing too much. Progress notes may look like novellas. When you don’t know what is important, everything is documented.

5. Going along with the parents. Novice counselors often seen kids and their parents. It is easy to become railroaded into allowing the parents to use the session to gang up on the kids. Novice counselors have a hard time managing the parents and the kids in the same session.

What mistakes did you make? Did you experience at the hands of a novice?

When I started, I hated the question about my age (I was 24 but looked younger). I tried all sorts of creative ways to illustrate my experience and to be vague about my actual age. I’m sure I never convinced anyone. They stayed because they didn’t want to start over. I should have just said (nicely), “your right, I’m young. We can either find you another client now or we can try the following intervention and if you don’t like what I’m doing, we can find you someone else then. What would you like to do?”

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April 30, 2009 · 5:38 am

Identified by your betrayals?


This past Sunday one of our pastors, Erik Larsen, asked this question:

Are you too identified by your betrayals?

He was asking whether we form our identity around the script of being betrayed and use our experiences of being betrayed as shaping our sense of all of life. I think we could also consider whether we shape our identity around our betrayals of others?

What forms your sense of self and the world? A serious violation of your trust?A major failure? How might you begin to reconstruct your sense of self around the whole picture of who you are?

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April 27, 2009 · 12:41 pm

Can your body make you sin?


I’ve had a small email exchange on this topic with a PhD student at another seminary and so I’m going to raise the topic here. Can your body make you sin? Obviously, I’m going to tackle this question from a Christian perspective that cares about sin and wants to think carefully about our ontology (what it means to be human).  

The major questions behind the question are (a) are we made up of 2 substances (body and soul), and (b) even if we are, does it matter when considering what causes people to do what they ought not? I am not going to even try to defend (a) but I do want us to think about (b).

Some background might help. (If you get bored with background, just scroll down to the questions below.)

1. In the Christian life sin matters. Sin is that which we do that violates God’s definition of holiness. Sin is that which fallen creatures do all the time. Thankfully, God provides a way of escape from the logical consequences of sin (grace via the cross). Despite (no, because of) this gift from God, Christians still care about eradicating sin even though it is not possible. It stands to reason, then, that it can help to discern the sources of sin in order to stop them.

2. The classic Christian view of human nature is that we are made of two substances: body and soul. We are not just our physical bodies but something intangible was imputed to us when God breathed life into Adam. Our soul allows us to worship God. The bible refers to our soul in various ways: will, heart, desires, etc. The soul is the driver of the will and therefore responsible for the moral direction of our actions. Early theologically oriented scientists (think Descartes) assumed the existence of the soul but looked to explain how the intangible soul connected to the tangible body. Now with the advances in neuroscience we have better explanatory power in describing the action of thoughts, feelings, and knowing. However, the will remains a mystery. While we can explain neural networks and what the brain does when desiring something, we cannot yet explain WHY we want or desire certain things. 

Some philosophers and theologians have attempted to deal with classic dualism by suggesting that we are only one substance. I am not capable of succinctly defending this position so I point you to Nancey Murphy and a review of her book here.  She does a masterful job defending non-reducible physicalism.

Okay, now if you think humans are made of body and soul you have these questions to consider.

  1. Is it possible that my body (against or apart from my will) might cause me to sin?
    • What is gained and/or lost if we say yes? If we say no?
  2. If it is possible, am I culpable for such sins? 
    • What is the consequences of saying yes to this question?

During this week I plan to give a feeble defense of a yes answer to both questions 1 and 2. We’ll see how this unfolds.

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April 24, 2009 · 2:16 pm

Physiology Phriday: Depressed? Check your thyroid


One of the most common mistakes made by counselors is to forget to encourage their clients to get specific medical work-ups. There are three key reasons for this problem.

1. Most clients describe their struggles with causes already in place. “I’m depressed because I have a bad marriage, because life isn’t going the way I had hoped.” We counselors accept their initial diagnosis and fail to dig further.

2. We know that counseling works. And so we help them work on their thinking, feeling, and behaviors. We do what we do best

3. When we do send someone to the doctor, we rarely get a clear answer.

Nonetheless, it is essential that your clients have had recent blood work. Case in point. Low thyroid levels often leads to experiences of confusion, mental dullness, and depression. (FYI, overactive thyroid may lead to irritability and anxiety). While there may be real counseling work to be done (everybody needs some help), it would be a tragedy to miss real mercy care (i.e., a better functioning thyroid).  

Check here for some info on hypothyroidism: http://www.endocrineweb.com/hypo1.html

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April 21, 2009 · 11:59 am

What is a competent counselor?


Today, I begin an introduction to pastoral counseling class for MDiv students with my colleague Jenn. In six short weeks we will expose them to biblical foundations of understanding people and their problems, the basic helping skills, and provide them opportunities to practice on each other.

So, what makes for a competent counselor? There is a famous book on this topic. Jay Adams focuses in his landmark, bulldozing book on the problems of secular psychology and the need for a new understanding of how people change that fits with Scripture and a confidence that all people, especially pastors, are capable of leading others to change.

Important work, but misses some of the nuances that we have now about Christian models of change. For some of my thoughts on a more robust model of counseling that I seek to impart here at Biblical, see this post from several years ago.

But I want to focus here on the talents or capabilities of the counselor. And here I list 7 factors needed to be a competent counselor

1. Spiritual maturity. Not only must the counselor know the bible, its story line, etc., they must also have understood and experienced the Gospel, show a maturing trajectory towards holiness and awareness of the diversity within the Christianity. In the words of one of my theology colleagues, they must know the difference between dogma and doctrine and opinion.

2. Self-awareness/insight. One can be spiritual mature, but not particularly insightful about the self. The competent counselor has a grasp of their own narrative (and how the Gospel story is changing it) and how it impacts past and present relationships. The competent counselor understands strengths and weaknesses and is not defensive.

3. Capable of building trusting relationships. Nothing much good comes from counsel provided by standoffish and stand-above kinds of counselors. The competent counselor is able to build trusting relationships by being interested in individuals (more so than in outcomes), able to walk in another’s shoes, cross cultural lines, and able to empower others more than tell others what to do

4. Flexibility in response styles. The competent counselor understands the need to use a variety of conversational responses depending on the needs of the client. This means sometimes questions are appropriate, other times silence. Other responses include reflections, summarizing, focusing, confronting, joining, problem-solving, self-disclosing. Counselors who only use one or two of these styles will not be able to work well with clients who find those particular styles problematic. The competent counselor is intentional in her or his choices of responses.

5. Assessment and Hypothesis skills. The competent counselor is able to move from their counselees problems and descriptions to a wider view of the person and their situation and back again. This counselor is able to pull multiple pieces of data into a cohesive understanding of the situation. In doing so she forms and tests possible hypotheses that clarify motivation for behavior as well as point to interventions. For example, is the child’s behavior merely rebellious or is it ADD or anxiety based?

6. Observation skills.The competent counselor not only understands people, their needs, solutions, and has the capacity to use multiple response styles, but also is observant regarding their own impact on the counselee. They observe subtle reactions form clients and seek to moderate their counseling style and/or gently explore the meaning of the reaction. Without these skills, the counselor blithely works toward a goal without knowing if the counselee is really following.

7. Ability to care for self. Finally, the competent counselor recognizes personal limits, boundaries and actively seeks to sustain a life of personal care. Far too many counselors confuse sacrificial giving with bypassing appropriate care for one’s own spiritual well-being. Just because one is spiritually mature one day does not mean such maturity is permanent. Neglecting personal care will likely diminish all other counselor competencies over time.

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April 20, 2009 · 11:03 am

Practicum Monday: The green counselor


No one wants to be a green counselor. “Hi, I’m an intern and you are my first counselee.” Who wants to say that? Also, no one wants to entrust their most significant problems to a green counselor. “I see you haven’t any experience, so let me expose my most tender parts to you and see what you can do.”

Houston, we have a problem.

Every counselor has to get their start somewhere just as every surgeon cuts a live human being for the first time. Young single folk counsel conflict-riddled married individuals or offer parenting advice while not yet a parent. Individuals with no history of addictions sit with folks in their 10th inpatient stay in a treatment center.

Is there any way this goes well? YES! Let me tell you why going to an intern with a good supervisor is good, even sometimes better than getting a seasoned counselor by them self.

1. You get two heads instead of one. Even if the supervisor is not in the room, you get a young, determined-to-do-it-right counselor and a supervisor on his or her toes (who loves to teach and wants nothing bad to happen) thinking about you and planning carefully. They talk about the intricacies of your situation at great depth, they consider the options, and carefully review the outcome. If you only have a seasoned counselor, they may perform better (relationship wise) in sessions, but they probably aren’t thinking as critically as they could. I can attest that I am thinking much more carefully about clients during supervision (as supervisee or supervisor) than when I am not there.

2. Book knowledge actually does help. The further a person gets away from textbooks, articles, etc. the more they rely on old knowledge. Teaching counselors and green counselors are fresh from their reading and thinking about key problems. For example, the student having just completed an ethics course will be more sensitive to boundary violations than the one who has grown accustomed to thinking they will always do the right thing. Sometimes resident doctors are more aware of subtle health issues because they are running down every article to learn and running down every symptom.  

Now surely a seasoned counselor provides many good benefits. Working with an intern or medical resident often takes longer to get to a good outcome. They just aren’t as fluid. They are still learning–learning on you. A seasoned counselor will make fewer mistakes. But if they are a humble learner, the green counselor will catch on quickly and repair any damage. Whether green or seasoned, the most dangerous character problem in counselors is arrogance and listening only to him or herself.

But the intern can manage some of this by dealing with his or her own anxiety. Confidence does actually help. It enables you to think clearly, consider options, be honest about your own weaknesses, offer the client help in finding someone else if you aren’t the right fit. It is like baseball. If you are afraid of getting hit, you’ll likely not catch or hit the ball. If you have confidence, you’ve got a better shot of catching it and/or at least making contact when hitting.

 

All that said, I have to tell you a story about my “first time.” I had just completed a 13 week internship where I counseled 2 separate clients with my supervisor in session and by myself. I could be given good grades for trying hard, but probably was too impatient to get to the good stuff of people’s problems–the stuff of repentance. In a moment of insanity my supervisor set me up as a staff counselor in a satellite center. On my first night I saw a person who said the Lord had told her I was the counselor for her but now was rethinking she had misheard. How could an 18 year old be right for her (ahem, I was all of 24!)? After trying to find out the issues, she said if I couldn’t figure it out, she definitely had misheard God. The next client was a couple. In the course of the session, the husband actually stood up and started choking his wife. I stood up–not knowing what else to do–and he fled the building.

There’s nothing like baptism by fire 🙂

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April 17, 2009 · 5:28 am

Physiology Phriday: Will I be on meds for the rest of my life?


During the course of discussing a person’s anxiety or depression, the conversation turns to the possibility of using antidepressants. Inevitably, I am asked, will I have to take them forever? Clearly, the questioner does not want to and sees the possibility of taking medication for the rest of their life to be unacceptable. So much so that many resist starting or even going to see a psychiatrist in order to consider whether they might take a medication. Rarely do they ever ask if the medications will help.

Consider for a minute why a person might ask this question. Here’s some of the reasons I think I’m asked this question:

1. Everybody is on them and they never get off (from the viewpoint that too many people take them for every little hangnail and then allow themselves to stay on the crutch forever, never solving their problem)

2. Medicines are for weak people, I’m not weak. (Not sure if the person would have the same response if their medical doctor said their thyroid wasn’t working and so they would need synthroid for the rest of their life)

3. It is only a spiritual problem. Taking the medication will solve the problem but not the spiritual problem. I’ll be avoiding the real issues.

4. I hate medicines of all kind. I hate remembering to take them and I hate their side effects.

5. I don’t think they will really work.

Can you think of other reasons? Now, antidepressants do work from a research vantage point. They are not the silver bullet. They will not make a bitter, angry, depressed person, less bitter. They may help them sleep better, improve their mood, and thus more clearly come to terms with their bitterness. Medications never block the heart from spiritual matters. Only the person who does not want to deal with spiritual matters will use them to avoid looking more deeply inside. God can be found in both suffering and comfort. Whether we will look for him is a bigger question.

So, what if you need them for the rest of your life? What if they really do make it possible to function well? Is our distaste for medicines due to their side effects or due to the fact that we have to accept that we are weak and broken people?

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April 13, 2009 · 11:11 am

Practicum Monday: The secret to a good experience


A new semester begins today and I pick up teaching again after a sabbatical. It feels good to get back in the saddle again. Practicum and Professional Orientation starts today and so my students begin their first fieldwork assignments around the region. If they are at all like I was when I first began counseling work, they will be nervous and worried about doing well and doing the right thing. But I have a secret for them. This nervousness will actually help them do well and, for the most part, mistakes in counseling often turn out to be good for both counselee and client. Counseling is more like art and less like surgery. And since counseling is relational art, the opportunity to “do over” actually provides wonderful realism to the healing.

However, there is another secret to good practicum experiences: good supervision. Good supervision makes or breaks an experience. And good supervision requires the active participation of both supervisor and supervisee.

The Supervisor: Supervisors come with a variety of skills, personality, and style. Some are quite directive and keep a tight rein on your practice attempts. Others are very hands-off, wanting you to try stuff yourself and so they respond to your questions and concerns rather than seek you out. Others are very process oriented and focus on your experience more than what you actually do.

The Supervisee: Some students come with hundreds of questions (some out of curiosity but most out of anxiety). Others want very specific directions and then try to act them out as was given. Others still want to talk about their own experiences and have a harder time recalling client responses.

Practicum students do well to prepare for supervision:

1. Before you begin, have some discussion about how the supervisor likes supervision to go? Do they have an idea about how they want you to function in it? Do they want it to happen just after your counseling experiences for the week so you can debrief? Just before so you can best remember what was decided?

2. When you bring your cases to supervision, come prepared to concisely summarize history, presenting problems, attempts to solve prior to counseling, family systems, current crises if present, work thus far in your counseling. Also, come prepared with a specific objective question you would  like to have answered. The more specific your question, the more likely you will come away with an answer.

3. Be sure to ask the supervisor to help you refine your hypotheses. This is a good opportunity to consider alternative ideas.

4. Schedule time when the supervisor can either watch you live or listen to a taping. There is NO better supervision possible. Scary? Yes. But essential if you do intend to become a good counselor

5. Be willing to ask (nicely) the why question when your supervisor gives you directives that don’t make sense. More than doing the right thing, you want to understand the critical thinking behind the right response.

6. Use your relationship with the supervisor to grow as a professional. This is one of your future colleagues. If there are conflicts between you, practice the good art of resolution. Don’t avoid and don’t attack.

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