Over at the faculty blog at www.biblical.edu I have this first post of two on the topic of how our bodies influence our behavior. I raise two questions:
1. Can our bodies cause us to sin?
2. If so, are we responsible or culpable?
Category Archives: biblical counseling
Can your body make you sin? Post on www.biblical.edu
Filed under biblical counseling, Biblical Seminary, counseling, Psychology
2 Reasons Why Every Church Needs an Abuse Response Plan
We all know that we shouldn’t wait until our house is on fire to purchase insurance on our home. We all know that a will is necessary before we die. But, do you know that most churches do not have any plan to deal with an allegation of child or adult abuse? While no plan is foolproof and almost every abuse allegation contains unique features requiring difficult decision-making, a basic plan usually contains directions for who will make sure plans are carried out and how the church will handle both victim and offender.
Why Don’t Churches Have a Plan?
Maybe one of the reasons many churches fail to have a plan is that they aren’t really convinced a plan is central to the work of the Gospel–as central as a doctrinal statement or the preaching of the Word. Maybe such a plan is seen as a necessary evil like unto car insurance, something you know you should have but are annoyed to pay such a large bill even though you haven’t needed to use the benefit.
2 Better Reasons!
Read my faculty post here over at www.biblical.edu for 2 Gospel reasons why every Christian organization needs an abuse response plan.
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Do your labels help or hurt?
I have a post over at the Seminary’s faculty blog today. You can find it here.
Counselors label all the time. Even when we don’t offer official DSM diagnoses, we label things as good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, dysfunctional, sinful, etc. The key question counselors face is WHEN and HOW to share their views on a subject. Just because we can see something is wrong doesn’t mean we ought to share it yet. While you may wish your family doctor to share suspicions of Lyme’s disease with you on the first visit, your counselor may need to earn the right to say, “I think you have become embittered over your husband’s insensitivity.”
If you are in a position of authority (parent, teacher, boss, counselor, leader, etc.) consider how quickly you use labels and whether or not they invite dialogue and action. If the result of our labeling is increased passivity in the one being labeled, then maybe we need to consider that our labeling is part of the problem.
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In Counseling, Who is the Teacher?
Most counselors and therapists get into the field of counseling because they want to help people. This is a good thing! Imagine if they only wanted to make money or to be the center of attention. But, underneath the goal of wanting to help people lurks an insidious goal:
being seen as wise.
Being seen as wise (notice the difference between being wise and being seen as wise) tempts us to become the teacher, the teller, the obnoxious sage. Teaching, telling, training are all activities that may happen in counseling, but only when necessary. Truth be told, we counselors resort to teaching and telling because it gives us a job to do and makes us feel good. This is especially true when we work with the most severely traumatized people. Here someone is hurting in front of us. We can see that they are stuck. Who wouldn’t want to pull them out of the mud? Now, there may well be important teaching moments–gently instructing someone on the symptoms of trauma and/or the physiology of trauma. This might be important for the client who believes that the symptoms are really signs they are sinning and that they can just choose to stop being triggered.
In Counseling, Who is the Teacher?
“The patient is the ultimate teacher about trauma, and a good therapist is a good listener.” (Boskailo, p. 81)
While the counselor has much to offer in regard to teaching, training, and goal setting, we must remember that the client is the one teaching us about their trauma experiences and how much they can deal with at a given time. For example, Boskailo reminds us (see above link for book) that while telling the trauma story is an important part of the healing process, the “how” of telling (and the “how much”) is something each client will need to teach us. One client may need to tell and re-tell the same story each week. Another may be better helped by drawing. Still another may tell once and never again.
We counselors are the student in these kinds of matters. It is our job to listen well and learn well!
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Global Trauma Recovery Institute Launched! Dr. Langberg Joins Biblical Faculty
American Bible Society (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It is my pleasure to announce that I and Biblical Seminary are the recipient of a sizeable grant to launch our new Global Trauma Recovery Institute–training for lay and professional recovery experts in the US and around the world. The grant (from an anonymous donor and the American Bible Society) funds the Seminary’s collaborative program with ABS to provide deeper training for those active in both trauma recovery efforts in the US or in training local facilitators in east/central Africa.
Why collaborate with a bible society?
ABS is involved in a trauma healing/scripture engagement project, focused in Africa but with other works going on around the world. This project has been under the work of ABS’ She’s My Sister initiative in the Congo. The bible societies were founded on bringing scripture to bear on the current issues of the time–specifically slavery. So, it make sense that ABS is interested in helping traumatized individuals recover from wounds by showing how God cares and is active in their recovery. Through connections with a few of my students, I and Diane Langberg have become co-chairs of the advisory council to the above-named initiative.
What does this mean for Biblical?
The generous grant will enable Biblical to do the following
- Commission a research study of the psycho-social impact of trauma in the African context
- in collaboration with Wheaton College’s Humanitarian Disaster Institute
- WHY? We need better understanding of the scope of the problem and what locally led interventions will be the most effective (both in terms of success and sustainability)
- Develop introductory and advanced global trauma recovery courses that enable MA and postgraduate students to develop specialization in training local trauma recovery facilitators here and around the world
- These courses will be delivered in a hybrid format starting late 2012; delivered in hybrid system (on-line and in-person)
- Mental health continuing education credit will be possible
- A hands-on practical experience under the direction myself and Dr. Langberg will be the capstone experience for students who complete the entire training
- Likely 2013 in an African context
- A website providing free and homestudy CE materials for those unable to come to the Philadelphia area
- Consultation groups formed for those seeking help with cases and projects in domestic and international trauma recovery
How is Dr. Langberg involved?
Dr. Diane Langberg is the leading Christian psychologist with expertise in trauma recovery. Her teaching has taken her to South America, the Caribbean, Africa, Asia, and Europe. Her books on sexual abuse remain popular with both clinicians and victims. She joins Biblical Seminary as a Clinical Faculty member (clinical faculty are practitioners who also lecture and train) and will have a leadership role in the shaping and delivery of the curriculum and trainings. It is safe to say that the counseling department has been most influenced by Dr. Langberg’s training and supervision.
How can I find out about these courses and consultation groups?
Until we launch the institute website, the best way to keep yourself informed is to do one of the following: subscribe to this blog where I will be posting updates; keep checking with www.biblical.edu for more information, or email me at pmonroeATbiblicalDOTedu and I will put your name on a growing list of those who want to be on our mailing list.
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Taunting your Abuser?
Is it ever right to taunt your abuser? Is it Godly?
[WARNING: This is a thought experiment…not a recommendation!]
My wife is working on some presentations she’ll be making on the book of Habakkuk and so we have been looking at the book and talking about some of the difficulties in the text (She’s far more insightful on these things than I am!). The 2nd chapter contains a taunt against the oppressor/abuser Babylon. God is having a conversation with Habakkuk and the short version goes like this:
Habakkuk: Why are you allowing all this sin among your people? Do something!
God: I will. I’m sending Babylon and they will carry Judah off.
Habakkuk: Um…God…Babylon? Really? You do know they are like the most heathen people? You’re going to use the worst group of people in the world to judge us? You know we’re not THAT bad?
God: Yup. I’m going to do something that blows you away. I’m up to something you can’t even imagine. I know that Babylon is proud. And here are the taunts you and everyone else is going to throw at them when I judge them.
At this point God appears to give them words to use when the time comes. Consider 2:15-16
Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors, pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies. You will be filled with shame instead of glory. Now it is your turn! Drink and be exposed. The cup from the Lord’s right hand is coming around to you, and disgrace will cover your glory.
It would appear that God has no problem taunting humans in their rebellion and depravity. When God taunts, he is speaking truth. When we speak truth, along with God, about unrighteousness then maybe such a taunt is a possibility:
You’ve abused me but just you wait. God is in heaven above. He sees and he will judge. You will face the consequences of what you have done, either in this life or at the last day. There will be justice!
Just an Old Testament thing?
Are taunts only in the OT? Does Jesus do away with them when he tells us to love our enemies? Apparently loving one’s enemies does not mean not speaking a taunt. Notice that Luke records Jesus making ten different “woe to you” taunts against religious leaders and other unbelieving/arrogant people. Can Jesus be failing the second greatest commandment?
Clearly the taunts in the OT or Jesus’ curses of unbelieving religious leaders are not normative. We are not called to do this. But…maybe their existence does a couple of things for us.
- Give Godly words for the private and possibly public comments made by victims of abuse (note: these words do not approve of revenge, bitterness, or other ungodly motivations. But desire for justice is a good and Godly desire and should be expressed!)
- Allow others to validate victims’ experience of injustice without pressing for a quick Romans 8:28 response
A word of caution
Habakkuk 2 ends with a postscript to the 5 taunt songs against Babylon.
But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him
Judah was guilty of injustice (1:3). They did not have clean hands. They were not innocent. God did give them words of taunt to use against Babylon. Yet, before God they needed to be silent and humble. The cup of wrath that Babylon would drink is passed over God’s people–not because of their innocence but because of God’s providential love. Christ drinks to the dregs that cup of wrath in our stead. He gives us a better cup to drink. It is far too easy to consider ourselves innocent and our enemies guilty. We ought to stand in silence and awe because we have not been treated as we rightly deserve.
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Summer counseling courses announced!
Biblical is offering 2 fantastic summer counseling courses for your consideration. In both classes, you will walk away with practical tools! Both classes are hybrid (meaning you have both online and in person portions) and can be taken for 1 or 2 credits or for continuing education. Click the attached PDF for more details: BIB-0112-BFINAL. The classes are:
One Session Coaching: Action Focused Change
Taught by Pam Smith, VP for Student Advancement and Coach
When? July 6-7 at Biblical Seminary: Who should take the course? Counselors and church leaders.
Abuse in the Church: Biblical, Legal, & Counseling Perspectives
Taught by my self and Boz Tchividjian (Liberty Law School, founder of GRACE, and a former child abuse prosecutor)
When? July 20-21 (at BranchCreek Church, Harleysville, PA) Who should take this course? Anyone who wants to see the church a safer place. Breakout sessions will focus on counselors and also church leaders.
Both courses are expected to fill up fast given their practical focus. Sign up ASAP by contacting either,
- Patsy Byrd (for new students): pbyrd@biblical.edu or 800.235.4021, x106
- Karen Mehlbaum (for returning students or CE participants): kmehlbaum@biblical.edu or 800.235.4021, x111
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How to evaluate a counseling model or intervention: Step four
Picking up on this series that was started last week, we come to the next-to-last step. Thus far I have suggested that whenever you are exploring the next best thing in counseling, you should
- start with a healthy dose of suspicion about the motives and goals of the author. What are they trying to sell you?
- Read with an open mind. Can you see what they observe about life?
- Evaluate the author’s assumptions, worldview, etc. Be willing to be challenged!
Now we come to step four.
Step Four: Let yourself be critiqued
How might their observations and assumptions challenge your own? Sit with this a bit. Don’t worry that you will lose your faith. It never hurts to have our beliefs and values refined and challenged by our critics. Maybe some of your values are uncritically formed. How might these assumptions cause you to refine and renew your own? Can you eliminate some faulty logic?
Be willing to state some of the weaknesses within your own system of beliefs and assumptions. I wish every model builder would start with their own flaws. But, most of us are better at pointing out the speck in our brother’s eye than addressing the log in our own.
Finally, our next step will be to possibly adopt some portion of the model or intervention into our own repertoire.
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Meeting with someone who harmed you: What do you need to know?
Harm. Abuse. Accident. There are any number of ways that one human or an institution can harm another. Some “harm” is intended, others unintended. Some completely accidental, others planned and still others the result of unthinking and self-focused neglect.
How you feel about the harm likely has something to do with your assessment of the motives and intent behind the harmful behavior. Now, imagine for a minute that you were about to meet with someone who harmed you in a significant way. Do you know what their motives were at the time of the harm? Do you know how they think about it now? Further, do you know what you think about concepts such as forgiveness and reconciliation? Repentance?
It is my experience that we sometimes rush individuals to meet and reconcile with someone who has harmed them before gathering some important data. Before you meet with someone who has harmed you, consider the following questions in order to clarify what you think and believe:
1. Of the person who harmed me:
- the intention behind their harmful behavior and their intention behind this meeting (if they requested it)
- Did they intend to hurt me?
- Do they want to apologize? Do they want to blame me?
- their understanding of harm they caused and their current feelings now
- Do they really believe they caused me harm?
- Are they remorseful?
- Have they made changes in their life so this won’t happen again?
- their current relationship desires and expectations
- Are they looking for me to forgive them? To forget? To take ownership of a portion of the problem?
- Do they expect me to act as if it never happened?
- Do they want me to release them from the consequences?
- Do they want an ongoing relationship? Do I have the freedom to choose?
2.Of myself
- Am I ready to speak the truth in love?
- Am I tempted to sugarcoat the truth? Rage?
- Am I tempted to offer forgiveness too quickly, too slowly?
- Do I see the offender as no different from myself, in need of mercy?
- Do I know what outcome I desire?
- Am I willing to give a fair hearing rather than prejudge?
- Do I know the difference between justice and revenge?
- Do I know the differences between reconciliation, restitution, restoration, and repentance?
- Do I know what forgiveness looks and feels like (and what it does not look and feel like)?
- Do I want to forgive even if the person asking for forgiveness doesn’t seem to get how badly they hurt me?
3. Of the system
- What are the human system consequences of meeting/not meeting. Similarly, what are the consequences of reconciling/not reconciling, forgiving/not forgiving?
- What are the system pressures/expectations on me?
- What promises does God provide in the kingdom system? What protections? What comforts?
- What expectations does God place on Believers? Does the command to forgive mean to forget or live as if it never happened?
It is important to be prayerful as we answer these questions. The intensity of the meeting and the swirling emotions will make it hard for us to evaluate ourselves, the offender, and the system. The more preparation, the better shot we will for being at peace with our responses to a difficult situation.
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Filed under Abuse, biblical counseling, Christianity
What to do with Psalm 89?
Check out this blog entry from my colleague, Steve Taylor. Steve helps us consider what to make of the “unrebutted” charges against God found in Psalm 89. If you ever struggle with feeling that God has not kept his promises or struggled with what to do with OT passages that seem to charge God with failure to keep his promises…read this:
Jesus Redeems a Psalm: What a Difference “Christotelicity” Makes!.
Musings on Faith and Psychology 