Tag Archives: parenting

November 13, 2024 · 9:01 pm

Helping children after disaster: A webinar


Over my many years of trauma care training, I can say that the most frequent question I get is something like, “do you have anything about caring for kids after (or during) traumatic events and disasters. And usually, the answer is there isn’t much. So, in light of that, if you are interested in knowing more about helping kids in a state of crisis and after a disaster, check out this webinar by my colleagues Stacey Sutherland and Misty Bodkins. Free with a suggested donation. When? Nov 21, 7-8:30 EST.

This is the abstract of what they intend to present:

Join us for an engaging online workshop for parents, educators, and those who work with families as we provide training in the basics of crisis intervention for children and teens. Topics to be covered: What is Trauma? How does it uniquely impact children? Trauma-sensitive care principles and practices to effectively support children Collaborative opportunities for parents, educators, and others. Self -care for the caregiver. Who Should Attend: Teachers/Educators Administrators Social workers Parents Anyone who cares for children or works in children support services Faith and community leaders who work with children ministry.

https://crisiscareinternational.networkforgood.com/events/79027-helping-children-after-disaster

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June 15, 2017 · 2:40 pm

Podcast on Anxiety


Recently, I was interviewed for a podcast on the topic of anxiety by Walt Mueller and the good folks at the Center for Parent/Youth Understandings. You can listen here: https://cpyu.org/resource/episode-39-anxiety-with-dr-phil-monroe/

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April 25, 2014 · 8:12 am

Theological reasons to not use corporal punishment?


Victor Vieth has published an essay looking at the use of the bible to validate corporal punishment. What makes this essay interesting is not that he is arguing against the use of physical punishment but that he is writing to child protective services officials on how to respond to those who believe it is okay. I encourage you to read the full text here.

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October 8, 2013 · 10:27 pm

Before you cast judgment on stranger for their parenting failure


One of my current students, Stan, passed on this excellent blog post about the looks we sometimes give “bad parents” when we see their unruly and out-of-control children. The author nails the reasons for the shaming looks and thoughts we have: PRIDE.

It is also good to consider that whenever we see a child melting down in the grocery store or a parent using less-than-ideal strategies, we don’t really know the whole story. In the post you will see this mother’s understandable excuse for her child’s behavior–pediatric brain cancer. Of course, not every parent has an unruly child with cancer. But let it be a reminder, you don’t know the whole story and haven’t walked in their shoes…

 

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June 22, 2012 · 1:05 pm

Still Face Experiment: Nonverbal communication and its absence?


I’m attending a trauma education seminar today where Dr. Sandra Bloom is teaching. Dr. Bloom has developed the Sanctuary Model of trauma recovery and care. There have been a number of very helpful ideas discussed and I hope to get them out to you in due course. However, I want to share with you all this interesting and short YouTube video (link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0).

Watch it and let me know your reaction to the still face experiment. What do you notice the baby trying to do?

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June 3, 2010 · 5:50 am

A Parent’s Private Pain


Most of my current counseling work is with adults. Didn’t used to be this way. When I started, I worked mostly with kids and then sometimes with their parents.

What do adults deal with? Some are dealing with personal problems, some are dealing with difficult marriages, work, and the like, some are dealing with parenting young children. All of them hope that counseling will be part of the solution: depression will lift; intimacy will increase, children will be more obedient.

But what of the parent of an adult child who seems to be going off course? Their beloved offspring refuses to address an addiction; rejects their faith; rejects values from faith or culture. Where do they find help and solace? Given the little power parents have over adult children no longer under their roof, these parents rarely choose counseling as an option. Seems too expensive for something that can’t change the situation.

Surely these parents hurt. Their assumptions or dreams seem dashed. They question what they did wrong. Others offer unsolicited advice as to what to do or why their child has departed from their family values. Surely these parents face confusing decisions. Do they cut off from the child? Cajole? Pretend nothing is wrong?

Where best might they turn?

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October 1, 2009 · 5:04 am

Parents as…?


Having had fun with the marriage metaphors a few days ago, I thought about a similar question about the best descriptive words about the role of parent. What triggered my thinking was a public radio interview with the authors of Too Close for Comfort, a book about mother/daughter relationships. In the interview they discussed problem parent labels: helicopter parents, parents as personal concierge, as guarantor of happiness for their child, etc.

What words do you think describe a better metaphor as parent and why? Guide? Mentor? Coach? In some ways, parents are more connected to their kids than in past generations. And yet, this connection may cause kids to depend more on their parents rather than getting out there and being responsible for their life. Can you think of ways to describe parenting that allows for emotional closeness without the over-dependency.

Here’s one I would like not to have as a title: Parent as homework tutor.

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October 11, 2008 · 5:38 am

Pastors and mothers have much in common


Was talking to a group of pastors about their expectations as they entered the ministry. Several were quite eloquent and open about their surprises. Some were surprised at the level of burden and that lack of joy in the work. Some were surprised that the job of pastor wasn’t as eternity focused as they expected. Here’s an amalgam of phrases said by some: “I thought I was going to be dealing with weighty matters, life changing stuff, the stuff of soul care. But instead I’m dealing with policies, criticisms, and other mundane things most of the time.”

When talking to my wife, she so wisely said, “yeah, just like the work of a mother.” You know you are shaping souls and working to grow young boys (in our family anyway) into mature men. But most days you are dealing with socks, runny noses, and whiny, ungrateful kids.”

Yeah, mothers and pastors work for weighty, eternal matters. But day by day it is hard to keep that in focus.

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March 28, 2008 · 3:12 pm

Radio Disney?


My soon to be 10 year old found Radio Disney on the AM dial and now each morning I am greeted with vocals from Miley Cyrus and other teeny-bopper music. I think they have about 10 songs they play over and over and over…

So, now I have to start that habit that Paul Tripp used to talk about: listening to the music my son listens to and engaging him in dicussion about the lyrics. I’d prefer to ban it because it seems to be all about romance and never forgetting someone who makes you swoon. But, better to engage and not try to control. Right?

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