Tag Archives: adult children

A Parent’s Private Pain

Most of my current counseling work is with adults. Didn’t used to be this way. When I started, I worked mostly with kids and then sometimes with their parents.

What do adults deal with? Some are dealing with personal problems, some are dealing with difficult marriages, work, and the like, some are dealing with parenting young children. All of them hope that counseling will be part of the solution: depression will lift; intimacy will increase, children will be more obedient.

But what of the parent of an adult child who seems to be going off course? Their beloved offspring refuses to address an addiction; rejects their faith; rejects values from faith or culture. Where do they find help and solace? Given the little power parents have over adult children no longer under their roof, these parents rarely choose counseling as an option. Seems too expensive for something that can’t change the situation.

Surely these parents hurt. Their assumptions or dreams seem dashed. They question what they did wrong. Others offer unsolicited advice as to what to do or why their child has departed from their family values. Surely these parents face confusing decisions. Do they cut off from the child? Cajole? Pretend nothing is wrong?

Where best might they turn?


Filed under christian counseling, Christianity, counseling, parenting