Tag Archives: christian counseling

June 21, 2013 · 5:28 am

Trauma Recovery and Counseling Training in Rwanda


Location map of Rwanda Equirectangular project...

Location map of Rwanda Equirectangular projection. Geographic limits of the map: N: 0.9° S S: 3.0° S W: 28.7° E E: 31.1° E (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I leave today for my second favorite place in the world–Rwanda. (1st favorite is wherever my wife and kids are). We are returning to do another level of training for counselors and caregivers (see this post for our previous Project Tuza reports) from a number of organizations caring for widows, orphans, HIV+ individuals, and trauma victims. [The photo at the top of this blog is from that last training] Our training this time will focus on domestic or family violence interventions, children and sexual abuse, and dealing with dissociation. In addition, we’ll focus on basic helping/listening skills and the features of good storytelling in counseling (not all efforts to tell trauma stories are helpful or healing).

Check back here to see posts about our training. I hope to be able to make some during our trip, but depending on connections, it may have to wait til we return. Here’s our itinerary:

6/21-6/22: Newark to Brussels to Kigali

6/23-25: church (preaching), visiting friends, important sites, meetings in preparation for this and future trainings; in both Kigali and Butare.

6/26-28: 3 full days and 2 nights of training, led and sponsored by World Vision Rwanda and AACC.

6/29: Participate in Umuganda (national required public service in Rwanda), final meetings, and boarding the plane to return home.

It is a short trip but we are able to,

  • give our new team members experiences in listening to the strengths and challenges of a community (essential to provide help that is not harmful or useless)
  • provide objective hands-on skill training (not mere information giving)
  • seek advice of local leaders as to future trainings (we always need to improve our ability to train well)
  • Enhance our relationships (Lord willing, we will continue to return year after year)

Check back for updates.

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June 18, 2013 · 9:57 am

Dr. Langberg on Dissociation (part II): DID, Principles and Cautions


Over at my other site, www.globaltraumarecovery.org, we now have part II of Dr. Langberg’s talk (March 2013) on dissociation. This video covers the concepts of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and complex trauma. She ends with 10 principles and cautions for therapists working with clients who dissociate and/or who present with alternate personalities and identities.

Check out the video here. If you missed the first video or want to find other free resources, click around on that website.

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May 12, 2013 · 5:36 am

5 Minute Antidote to Anxiety repost


Over at the Biblical faculty blog, I have a post previously posted here. You can read it here. The trick to this antidote? It starts every 5 minutes.

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May 7, 2013 · 5:10 am

Of dogs and addictions


Our six-year-old cocker spaniel has learned a new trick. After having lived with us for over 1.5 years, she has figured out that she can open the pull-out cabinet drawer that contains our trash. This only happens when we leave her penned in the kitchen. I suspect we left some wonderful smelling meat scraps in it one night and the desire enabled some higher level problem-solving skills (she’s not the brightest dog in the world). Now that she has learned how to do this, we’ve taken to bungy cording the drawer. A few nights ago, we forgot and came home to a mess of coffee grounds and torn up trash all over the floor.

Interestingly, our dog responds in quite a predictable manner. Normally, when we come home, she is at the door to greet us by dancing around and putting her front paws on our legs. But each time we have come home to a mess she has made, we see her cowering and ready to bolt. The last time we came home to this mess, she squeezed out the door before we could get into the house so she could run away. No, we don’t beat her. She knows she has done wrong.

I’ve wondered what goes on in her head during the time she is into the trash. Does she know it is wrong? When does she start feeling bad. The moment we arrive? Has she been cowering and feeling guilty as soon as she spreads trash around? One more funny behavior: when we send her to her crate (in the basement) for a time out, she goes right away. But then, after a bit, we see her outside of her crate but sitting patiently. Then, she’s at the bottom of the stairs looking to see if we will let her up. Then, her front paws on the first step, waiting in anticipation that we’ll say all’s forgiven.

And this relates to addictions how?

Most individuals who struggle with an addiction have the strong feeling of guilt even as they partake. Guilt rarely is enough to stop us from acting out. Even knowing that we may well be caught does not stop us as much as you might think it would. The desire to have what is right at our fingertips can easily overwhelm all sensibilities and logic–that will race back to us as soon as we finish partaking or as soon as someone finds out. Our initial response may include running away. Guilt and shame prevail for a time and then we creep back into life hoping that the troubles we have caused will blow over and life will return to normal.

Of course, we are not dogs and so we must use the gifts God has given us (a brain capable of higher order planning, the Spirit) to learn from our mistakes and misdeeds. We can

  • remove ourselves from proximity to the addictive agent
  • plan for accountability, especially during vulnerable times
  • examine the roots, shoots, and fruits of our addictions with a trusted friend/counselor
  • remind ourselves of the power to say no and the foolish, false promises of addiction

For more of what I have written about addictions and interventions search the word in the seach box at the top of this page.

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April 17, 2013 · 9:14 am

The “End of Worry” in a dangerous world?


In light of the recent bombing in Boston, I thought I would use today’s post as a timely book note. Will van der Hart (Anglican vicar) and Rob Waller (Psychiatrist) have written a small but helpful book entitled, The End of Worry: Why We Worry and How to Stop (2011, Howard Books). What makes this book interesting is the fact that Will freely discusses his own struggle with worry, made more evident after the 2005 bombings in his city of London. While the bombings were the final straw to panic attacks, Will also explores some of the early roots of worry in his life.

If you struggle with worry, there are several reasons why this little book might be a comfort to you.

  1. The authors write as if they know worry and fear.
  2. It is not, as they say, “triumphalistic.” Meaning, they do not believe the right beliefs/prayers/faith will automatically solve the problem
  3. Worry is portrayed not only as a spiritual problem but also explored through lenses of psychology, biology, and habit formation.
  4. It is written to the worrier, not about the worrier
  5. Each chapter gives you opportunity to engage in a few key exercises
  6. They differentiate between solvable worry and floating worry (and the tyranny of the “what ifs…”)
  7. Their solutions are practical but do not pretend to be simplistic. In fact, they devote some space to the notion that you should “stop trying not to worry.” Sound radical?
  8. A number of their solutions are helpful for those who ruminate (OCD, scrupulosity)

The book sits firmly in the cognitive behavioral model of intervention. Therefore, much of it encourages readers to explore belief systems about self and world and to begin challenging faulty thinking and to work to replace with more appropriate cognitions, meditations, and self-talk. CBT is not the only therapeutic model but offers anxious people something to do.

If you would like to work through a book that describes the process of worry and perfectionism and then gives you some ideas to examine and change your own struggle, this might be the book for you.

*I received a free copy of this book without any obligation to write this post.

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January 22, 2013 · 5:19 am

A Danger in Christian Counseling Theory?


The faculty blog at Biblical Seminary (where I teach) has published an edited version of an older post here on this site. If you like cheeky titles, try this on for size:

Christian Counseling Theory and the Bible: A Dangerous Mix?

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January 21, 2013 · 5:45 am

The Christian Counselor’s Greatest Temptation?


Ask any beginning counselor and they will tell you that the one thing they most want to know is, “What do I say? What do I do?”

No one gets into the world of Christian counseling just to see messes. No, we take up the work because we want to see people recover life and health. But with the desire to see others get well, we also face the large temptation to push people into places of health. We want to tell people what to do

  • For those we find disagreeable or resistant: We want to tell them the full extent of their problems (rip the bandages off and make them see!)
  • For those we have compassion: We want to tell them it will be all right
  • For those we see are stuck: We want to tell them specific steps to wellness
  • For those we find to be much like us: We want to tell them they are doing just fine

Telling, exhorting, (or less nice words: cajoling, forcing, pushing) is a great temptation for every counselor. We want to impart our wisdom. We want to feel good by solving other people’s problems. We want others to experience our successes or our love for the Bible.

What does Jesus know and do?§

Do you find it odd that Jesus asks the blind man, “What do you want me to do for you?” Do you think Jesus didn’t know what he wanted? Or what about Jesus’ question, “Who touched me?” after the woman touched the hem of his garment. Did he not already know? We see that Jesus frequently uses the form of question in order to draw out the heart and mind of the person seeking help.

Do you want to be well? Where are your accusers? Where is your husband? Whose image is on this coin? When you went into the desert, what did you go to see? Where is your faith?

While we I don’t intend to argue that Jesus’ question asking somehow makes a rule for us, I do intend to argue that questions are more likely to lead to the client’s active engagement of a topic than telling them the conclusion. When we listen to others tell us values, facts, ideas, it is easy to slip into a passive acceptance or passive neutral stance. But when asked a question, we who answer more frequently engage the question.

§These biblical passages were discussed by Rev. Rick Tyson in our annual worship service at our counseling practice.

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November 28, 2012 · 5:05 am

One Definition of Christian Psychology


At a recent conference, Diane Langberg submitted the following definition of Christian Psychology. I present it below, verbatim, for your consideration. In some ways she doesn’t say anything new. However, it is quite different from our usual definitions.

Let me explain my seeming contradiction by first giving you C. Stephen Evans definition of Christian psychology,

 [It is] psychology which is done to further the kingdom of God, carried out by citizens of that kingdom whose character and convictions reflect their citizenship in that kingdom… (p. 132)

As you would expect, Dr. Evans offers a philosophically astute definition.

Or, consider Eric Johnson’s tome, Foundations for Soul Care: A Christian Psychology Proposal. In this book of 700 plus pages, he explicates a Christian psychology framework as doxological, semiodiscursive, dialogical, canonical, and psychological approach to soul repair. If you are looking for a theologically and epistemologically rich entry point to Christian psychology, I can’t point you to a better place than this book.

Like these two examples, many of our current definitions focus on matters of epistemology, theology, and psychology. Many definitions also emphasize the work of critical evaluation of existing psychological theory and research.

Now turn to Dr. Langberg’s definition. Notice how she emphasizes the character, the preparation, and actions of the counselor. Notice further that the focus on outcomes is bidirectional–on counselee and counselor.

Christian psychology as practiced in the counseling relationship is a servant of God, steeped in the Word of God, loving and obeying God in public and in private, sitting across from a suffering sinner at a vulnerable crossroad in his/her life and bringing all of the knowledge and wisdom and truth and love available to that person while remaining dependent on the Spirit of God hour by hour. That work, no matter what you call it, will be used by God to change us into His likeness; that work will result in His redemptive work in the life sitting before us; that work will bring glory to His great Name.

What I take from Dr. Langberg’s definition is an emphasis on action, the Spirit’s work and the counselor’s work (in self and other). While the epistemological definitions are necessary if we are going to think critically about our work, so to is this action-oriented definition. It reminds us that for all our thinking and theorizing, it is God’s work in our private and public lives that is used to bring healing and hope to others.

Your thoughts?

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November 16, 2012 · 4:22 pm

Things you won’t hear often in graduate counseling programs


In my last post I made mention of Dr. Langberg’s presentations last Monday night. One of her talks was entitled, “Ten Things About Counseling You Don’t Usually Hear in Graduate School.” At some point we may be able to upload video of that talk but just to whet your appetite, here are a couple of her 10 items,

  • Counseling is not nice. Most people get into the counseling business because they want to help people and because others have indicated that they have a gift for listening. Without being negative about the work of counseling, Dr. Langberg reminded us that to counsel with others is to invite garbage into your life. People don’t come to counseling to talk about the good things…
  • Similarly, the stuff of counseling is contagious; it will change you.
  • Counseling will expose you. It will expose your limits of patience, rationality, and love. It will expose your baser reasons for being a counselor.
  • Christian counseling is doing God’s work. It is not our work.
  • Christian counseling is doing God’s work for him (not for ourselves or others).

Just a taste. But she concluded with this call,

Listen acutely. Study avidly. Be the Word.

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November 8, 2012 · 5:05 pm

5 Approaches to Counseling and Christianity


There was a recent conference in Tennessee where the authors of the recently published, “Five Approaches to Counseling and Christianity” (IVP) presented their approaches, dialogued with each other, and showed brief vignettes of their counseling model in action. You might like to see some of the papers and slide presentations by each of the authors. Do so by following this link. At the bottom of each bio, you can find the link to their presentation. They do not have the video clips of counseling available. I, for one, hope they make them available for sale. Despite the diversity of theories, I suspect their actual counseling activities do not differ all that much.

Phil

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