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Expectations and the will


We’ve been thinking a bit about expectations this week. Now, when our expectations fail to be met, we have a couple of less than optimal options;

1. Slide toward despair and anger. A passive response to not getting what we hoped for.

2. Find new ways to get what we expect or want (and, if necessary, justify our actions in case others think we are selfish).

On this second point, my pastor preached last Sunday on Judges 18 (The tribe of Dan looking for a reason to take a land not offered them by God). He listed several ways (tongue in cheek) we can become good syncretists (having the appearance of Christianity but operating on unbiblical principles). They are worth repeating as we may find that we actively seek to justify willful behavior so that we get what we want. I don’t have his list in front of me so I’m going on memory here:

1. Start going after what you want but then on the way ask God if he’s going to bless what you are doing

2. When you get an answer, be sure to read any ambiguity as supporting your own interests. Don’t consider that the person telling you that God is favoring you might be off his rocker (the priest was not following the Law because he was allowing Micah to have idols as well).

3. When you see that you can be successful at grabbing something not yours, assume that success means that God is in it. Assume might makes right.

4. If a better deal comes along (the priest or seeming success of Micah and his idols), assume the better deal is a good idea and grab all you can.

My pastor did a better job with these and I’m not doing justice here to his creativity but I do find that it is so easy for me to justify my expectations, find ways to fulfill them–even if I know God is not in it. Some examples I see from others:

1. Justifying rage towards children because they are rebellious

2. Justifying sexual sin because God wants me to be happy

3. Justifying overeating/undereating because celebration is good/too many people overindulge

4. Justifying withholding love because others aren’t doing their fair share

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Do you need an expert counselor?


Have you ever had someone approach you as an expert in something? Feels good, even if you demur the attribution. Occasionally someone makes such a comment to us counselors, “I heard you were the best counselor to deal with ____ and so that is why I am here.”

I’ve been counseling long enough to know that while I do know something about some problems, the person giving me this compliment on the first meeting is also signalling me something about their thinking. Generally, they are signalling that that want me to fix their problem. Not always but often they want my expertise to rub off on them with minimal effort of their own. Although that is a good thing to consider when finding the right surgeon and yes you want to avoid incompetent counselors, good counseling is mostly accomplished by the hard work of the counselee. So when you consider what counselor you might need, consider the following:

1. Is the counselor promoting themselves as expert? Be wary. Experience is good. Identity as expert may not be. Promoting oneself as a “nationally recognized speaker and counselor”? Run!

2. Is the counselor known to be a talker? One who hands out “the 5 secret steps to solve…” Stay away.

3. Is the counselor known for listening skills? Are they willing to learn? This might be your best shot. Well, it would also be good if they have heard of your problem before too…

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The God I Don’t Understand 7: How does the Cross work?


My apologies to those waiting for the next chapter in Wright’s book. Some other writing assignments require me to put down my fun books and pick up some work-related reading these days. But enough of my excuses… In chapter 7 Chris Wright admits that one answer to the question, “How did the cross achieve salvation for us?” is simple and from Scripture: “Because it did.” But he like many others would rather not stop there. And he contends the bible doesn’t stop there either.

He reminds the reader that evangelical interpreters of the Bible regard the most helpful metaphor of the cross as judicial–substitutionary atonement. There are other metaphors used in the bible to explain the “how” but 1 Cor 15:3 underlines and emphasizes that Christ’s death on the cross was sacrificial and substitutionary. Here Wright brings up the controversy surrounding “penal substitution” and the grounds by which some reject this forensic focus to substitutionary atonement. Of the 7 reasons he lists, the primary ones (in my eyes) are the sense that penal substitution focuses too much on guilt, portrays God as mechanistic or always angry, and emphasizes the only way to deal with sin is with violence.

Wright believes the arguments for rejecting penal substitution would be good if in fact evangelicals held them. But he fears that the arguments against the penal metaphor are caricatures. From this point he looks at how the bible paints God’s love and anger. His anger and love must be, he contends, taken together as part of a whole, rather than having one negate the other. The two expressions are not contrary to each other any more than we may be angry with a loved one for bad behavior and yet still love them at the same time. He suggests the Cross satisfies both God’s love and anger.

He further rejects the conflict between God the father and Jesus the son. God is not the angry father and Jesus the loving son who steps between us. That viewpoint would destroy God’s essential unity (see John 17 for this). He uses extensive quotes from John Stott here to bolster his argument

Finally, he addresses the concepts of guilt and shame. The argument has arise that penal atonement only makes sense in cultures with a “developed sense of personal and objective guilt.” Shame cultures, it is suggested, would not be able to identify as well. Further, in a postmodern world it appears that shame is the more likely experience (of not being internally consistent with oneself). But Wright says that both shame and guilt are addressed by the cross and both are related. He points to Ezekiel who talks about being shamed and feeling shamed (36:16-32). The cross (and the forgiveness behind it) takes away the shame quality even though they still feel it when they remember what God has done. Wright suggests that ongoing feeling is healthy. He quotes from another of his books

Israel were not to feel ashamed in the presence of other nations (36:15), but they were to feel ashamed in the presence of their own memories before God (36:31-32). Similarly, there is a proper sense in which the believer may rightly hold up her head in company.

He then talks about how God in the OT and Jesus in the NT publicly affirms those who were shamed. God removes their shame, no matter what others think of them. They now hold their head high. And yet, Wright tries to articulate that this person may still feel shame when remembering past sins but he is quick to point out that this feeling does not crush but fuels “genuine repentance and humility and for joy and peace that flow from that source alone.”

While the content of this chapter seems a bit more about confronting a wrong he sees in the penal substitution debate than about answering how the cross works, nonetheless I find his writing about guilt and shame quite helpful here–especially how he distinguishes the kinds and sources of shame. I think it might be helpful for those who trust in Jesus but who struggle with shame to consider for a moment what their shame drives them to do. To hide? To be grateful for God’s restorative work?

Next week, we’ll look at his final chapter on the cross.

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Filed under anger, Biblical Reflection, book reviews, Christian Apologetics, Christianity, Doctrine/Theology, sin, Uncategorized

Pastor conference at Biblical: March 20, 2009


Local folks, please consider coming or inviting your pastor, pastor’s spouse, or key leaders in your church to our first ever day-long conference for ministry leaders. If God has burdened you for your leaders, consider paying for their registration. This conference will provide both encouragement for the leaders of God’s people as well as practical ideas for the challenges they face.

Here’s a flyer describing the times, costs, and speakers: pastors-health-flyer1

Here’s the link to the conference registration: http://spiritualhealth.eventbrite.com

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Escape the cold?


We’re having an extended cold snap (but no snow!) here in Philadelphia. And though it is nothing compared to that experienced in Maine right now, I have a DVD escape for you. This week, my wife and I watched Michael Palin’s 4 part series on his trip through the Sahara. You can feel the heat at times. You might think this a boring documentary but he finds a lot of life in the villages and nomads that take him through the desert. He begins in Morocco and circles around through a number of countries. You learn of people groups, nations, and political stuff as well as seeing some stark beauty. And on top of it, you get to enjoy Michael’s quirky humor (former member of Monty Python).

Here’s a link to his site and info about the documentary. We got it from our local library. http://www.palinstravels.co.uk/static-128

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Tradition?


Do you have a must-experience christmas tradition? Is it one of your making or one you are continuing from ages and generations past? Do you wish you had one or wish you could get rid of one of someone else’s making?

Since we got married 18 years ago, we have traveled 17 times to CT and ME for Christmas. Many of these included travel on Christmas day? Sound bad? For us it has been a fun little time that just we share. And kids have enjoyed it as well. Pretty lame compared to other traditions I imagine. Our kids now have the tradition of 3 christmas times: once at home, one with Kim’s family, and one with mine. Works out pretty well for them I guess.

How about other traditions? Foods you must have? Movies you must see? Events you must attend? Sadly, I have few here. A friend brought over some of his Norwegian heritage. Its a bread with fruit in it and a brown cheese (gjetost?) to go on it. Tasty.

Well, enjoy your traditions and see you in the New Year. We’re off to the snowy north.

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Fayette Street Grille


I’m not usually writing about food but my wife and I had a wonderful meal on Friday night at the Fayette Street Grille, Conshohocken, PA. The restaurant is a french style prix fix (but not that tiny portion type). You get a appetizer, main course, and dessert for 33 dollars. I had a molten brie/phyllo appetizer and roast duck for the entree. Kim had a crab/salmon cake that was really delicious. If you want a nice romantic meal this is a great place to come. Small, casual, but every morsel was perfect. (BYOB for those that care).

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Top searches at Wisecounsel


The truth is, search engine searches are how people find us bloggers. But some of the searches used most frequently to find my site give me a chuckle. Especially the 4th most frequently used search:

“Where is my wallet?”
Now, who is looking on the internet for their wallet? Do they think that there is going to be a clue on the web? Do they think I took it? Do they think psychologists have special finding tools (well, we do know what you are thinking).

There is a simple reason why people come to me looking for their wallet. I wrote of my travails since I lose mine regularly. I guess they want some comfort…

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Facebooking for 40+ year olds


Have you facebooked yet? If so, you might notice the explosion of users in their 4th and 5th decade of life. It’s become a great way to reconnect with old friends from high school and college. If Myspace was for teens then FB is for adults longing to reconnect in a world where they’ve left so many friends behind. I’m probably a perfect example. I don’t live and don’t visit the town I grew up in. I went to college in two different locations, grad school in two different locations and have moved about 10 times in the last 20 years. So, FB is a great way to reconnect

BUT….a friend and I were talking recently about the downside (besides the temptation to tell the world that you’ve just blown your nose (you know what I’m talking about if you FB) and besides the temptation to spend hours fooling around on the web instead of doing what you are supposed to be doing in your REAL life).

What else could go wrong? You could have those old teen feelings all over again! And worse, you are now (hopefully) more mature and realize what an moron you were back then and now that is all these old friends of yours remember you by!

1. You ask someone to be your “friend” and they ignore you. Do you remember that feeling in highschool?

2. Someone asks you to be their “friend” and your not sure you want to. Maybe they have goods on you and your foolish past. Maybe they’ll decide to remind you of it on your “wall” for the whole world to see.

3. Someone asks you to be their “friend” and you don’t remember them (or vice versa).

4. You join your high school group only to fear that you’ll be ignored–or worse!

Wow, I feel the pimples breaking out all over. No, actually, my FB experience has been just fine. Its good to see God’s handiwork in the lives of individuals–a testament to grace for fools for many of us, including me.

Now get back to your real work!

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The way out of moralism?


What is the way out of Christian moralism? Continuing from the last post, Coe says we have to

[open] our heart and mind deeply to (1) the reality of Christ’s work on the Cross in justification and (2) the ministry of the Holy Spirit in regeneration and in-filling. (p. 73)

If there is no more condemnation then “come out of your hiding in your prayer life and be honest with God.” And if Christ’s righteousness has been imputed to you, “then stop trying to cover your badness by being good.” (p. 74).

Coe says we often feel forgiven for failures but still feel unacceptable. And so we tend to respond with moralism in an effort to get to that point that we feelacceptable. Instead we are to meditate on the truth of our acceptance on the merit of the Cross AND need the transformation of the Spirit. Coe reminds us that spiritual disciplines do not transform us but “only become relational opportunities to open the heart to the Spirit who transforms.” (P. 77)

So, what do you think about his way out? Are you left wishing for more direction? More objective activities? Then in his mind you might be a moralist…

Maybe we should start by talking to others about our propensity towards moralism and quick fixes to our deepest problem. Also, we may need to explore how little we rely on the Spirit and how infrequent we are mindful of our needy state without moving toward shame or dulling that feeling.

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