Category Archives: christian psychology

More comments from the SCP conference


Some tantalizing quotes from our recent conference unapologetically taken out of context for your tasting pleasure:

Bill Hathaway: “Psychology is a social construction that gives us pockets of truth about the real world.”

From a presentation on the history of the psychology of religion project begun in the 19th century. He was talking about this historical project that was originally undertaken to explore and explain religious experience. Of course, the explanation was also reductionistic since it was undertaken from a naturalistic worldview–one that rejected the possibility of the supernatural. We should admit that all human explanations are reductionistic. But some more closely approximate the world as God created it. 

Another Hathaway quote: “We don’t need to be therapy prostitutes, doing whatever the client wants.”

I’ll leave that one without explanation.

JKA Smith: “All science is hermeneutic, a take or interpretation of things…Science is culture…so the interaction between faith and psychology or theology and science is cross cultural.” And, “The most important questions of Christian psychology are these, What’s at issue…What’s at stake?”

Richard Schultz:

“Biblical interpretation is not complete by coming to the meaning of any one text.” On the necessity of reading the bible in light of the whole, or, the importance of building a biblical theology.

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Filed under Christian Apologetics, christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity, counseling, Doctrine/Theology, Great Quotes, Psychology

Bobblehead Christianity


At the Society for Christian Psychology, JKA Smith (a Calvin Coll. philosopher) made an offhanded comment about bobblehead Christianity–the kind where the head is huge but the body is nearly non-existent. This image has really stuck with me.

We fill the head with truth and facts about our faith and we expect that to transform us into Christ. But we ignore the body, or the practices of the faith. He made mention of this problem in a discussion about worldview. He said something to this effect: “I think worldview conversations are important. I love worldview. I’d marry it if I could. But we must pay attention to our practices as they are attached to worldview and shape it in reverse. Worldview discourse places too much emphasis on what we think and less on what we do. We need to include visceral ways of knowing…tactile involvement in worship.” (phrases from my notes, not true quotation)

Seems we ought to take his critique to heart. Where are we overemphasizing truth statements or thinking about self as change agent and underemphasizing performing (use of disciplines) as acting into the truth as a work of the Holy Spirit?

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Filed under christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity, church and culture, Cultural Anthropology, Doctrine/Theology, Evangelicals, Psychology

Overheard at the Society for Christian Psychology


In Chicago for the annual conference for the Society for Christian Psychology. My head is full. Good conversations with colleagues from different parts of the country. This is a unique opportunity to have philosophers, theologians, and counselors talking together about Scripture and counseling.

I’ll blog more about this but Kevin Vanhoozer, a theologian from TEDS, gave two talks about counseling as acting into the theodrama of Scripture. He likened the playwright as God, the Holy Spirit as the director, the theologian as the dramaturg (a person who is to research the history of the play, give rich detail about its meaning, etc.), and the counselor as the acting coach.

Nice imagery I think.

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Filed under Biblical Reflection, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling science, Doctrine/Theology, Psychology

“I apologize for being late…”: bad behaviors by your counselor


Just skimmed, “‘I apologize for being late’: The courteous psychotherapist” (in the 2008 (v. 45:2)Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, pp 273-277) by Rolfs Pinkerton. Pinkerton details how our bad behaviors can harm (gasp!) the therapeutic alliance but that courteousness and correcting the behavior can help alleviate the problem. No surprise here.

But wait, what are some of the bad behaviors (no not the really bad and really obvious ones) he’s concerned about. Let’s see how we rate:

1. Being more than 15 minutes late. Apologies help but if it is a regular problem then…

Hmm. I’m usually 5 minutes late. Does that count as bad?

2. Falling asleep or being obviously worn out.

I try to solve this by drinking caffeine.

3. Forgetting names, using the wrong one or the wrong pronunciation.

So, when I pray for my “brother” or “sister” is it obvious that I’ve forgotten their name? Actually, I do pray that way sometimes and I haven’t forgotten a thing.

4. Repeatedly checking the clock.

I have an internal clock and so I try not to ever look. Probably why I’m regularly 10 minutes behind by the end of the day. So, how much is too much?

5. Taking calls.

Never do that. But I have forgotten to silence the phone. I hate it when that happens.

6. Drinking or eating in front of the client without offering some.

Oops. Did I mention that I caffeinate? Didn’t think that was rude. Hmmm. I have clients coming in bringing their Starbucks and I never feel left out. I wouldn’t eat in front of them. Do I get partial credit?

How about you? If you are a counselor, what are your faux pas? If you ever were a client, what annoying (not illegal or immoral ones–those are pretty clear) habits irk/irked you? (Be gentle with us and be sure to protect the guilty. We’re rather fragile.)

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Filed under christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling, counseling skills, Psychology, Relationships, teaching counseling

Hating the desire for intimacy


In prep for a presentation next week I have been reviewing Dan Allender’s”The Wounded Heart.” While I’m not a fan of his approach in this book (it’s too much at once for those with PTSD), I do think he has many, many nuggets of truth. Here’s one on p. 41:

Let me state an important observation: I have never worked with an abused man or woman who did not hate or mistrust the hunger for intimacy. In most victims, the essence of the battle is a hatred of their hunger for love and a strong distaste for any passion that might lead to a vulnerable expression of desire….The enemy, or so it feels, is the passion to be lovingly pursued and nourishingly touched by a person whose heart is utterly disposed to do us good. Such people (if they exist at all) are rare; it is therefore easier to hate the hunger than to wait expectantly for the day of satisfaction.

I see this love/hate/fear theme in many troubled marriages–even those where abuse is absent. When we desire this nourishment from someone “utterly disposed to do us good” and then continually wake to the realization that the person we married is not–no, cannot–disposed to do us good in the way we dream, we often feel rejected and invalidated because it seems to us the person is holding out on us. In response to these fears, we have one of several choices:

  1. Demand/pursue via criticism, complaint, accusation, suggestion, etc. that the person give what they are withholding: perfect validation and intimacy
  2. Withdraw into coldness, self-hatred, workaholism, fantasy, etc. to avoid the intimacy that is present in the marriage because it is not what we think it should be
  3. Actively pursue the dream of intimacy with others, or
  4. Daily die to the dream that the other will make us fully secure and happy WHILE continuing to offer unconditional intimacy, support, validation of the other in order to better provide sacrificial love AND yet still communicating (without demand) clearly our requests for how the other can love us well or what behaviors they should stop that are hurtful.

As you can see the 4th is impossible without the power of the Holy Spirit. The first 3 are much easier choices. They require less of us and maintain our all/nothing view of self and the world. The truth is we can only approach the 4th position if we place our trust in God to sustain us in a broken world. And therein lies the problem. It is hard for us humans to trust an unseen God, especially when our experience with the seen world tells us that love is conditional, that we are not valued, etc.

What’s the answer then? There is no one answer. But am I willing today to do one thing where I trust the Lord and show love/civility to the other as a creature made in the image of God. If I can answer yes, then I need to find another human being (since we are made for community) to help me discern what that love might look like today (hint: it may not look anything like what my spouse thinks it should look like).

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Filed under Abuse, Anxiety, christian counseling, christian psychology, Communication, conflicts, Desires, Great Quotes, love, marriage, Relationships

Biblical Counseling is too focused on big truth?


Haven’t had much time to write of late since the pressure is on for more formal writing assignments. But, in prep for a presentation in a few weeks I have been thinking about this question. Is the biblical counseling model of change too much focused on truth? Heretical thought for some I’m sure. (For those who don’t remember I consider myself both a biblical counseling and a Christian psychologist).

Let me start with some shoddy diagrams of two classic models of change.

1. Presenting problem –>Diagnosis Made–>Counselor generated insight (reality/truth) –> Corrective action (counseling as troubleshooting ways to cement corrective action outside of session). Counseling in this model focuses on truth/reality applied to counselees life outside of session. Benefit? Problem/solution focused; objective change. Drawback? Feelings and Relational activity is minimized (though not denied). The relationship is used to get to the activity of change.

2. Presenting problem  –> Diagnosis Made (but may not be told) –>Counselor generated insight (NOT given) –>Introspection via counselor generated questions. Counseling in this model focuses on introspection and counselee generated insight. Benefit? No pressure to perform, feelings encouraged. Drawback? No real relationship focus as it is purely 1 way. No focus on objective change (assumed it will naturally happen).

So, model one is more cognitive. Model two is more dynamic. Both models want or respect the valuate of relationship but usually see it as a necessity to get to what really heals (truth or insight).

The biblical model is most like model one. In many respects, the focus on truth is good. We fallen creatures need constant reorientation. We are easily deceived. And yet, which truth? Notice Jesus with the woman at the well (John 4). He doesn’t start out with the biggest truth (she’s an adulterer). Notice that we often need more immediate truthes to be the focus. Peter needs the hand as he sinks, not a lecture. David needs Nathan’s story first. We learn that God doesn’t tell us all our sins right off the bat. We couldn’t take it. Do we in the biblical counseling world over-focus on the big truths of faith, trust, sin, idolatry, etc. that we miss the “smaller” truths that God is with us, that his hand is present right now in some small tangible way?

So, how about this model for change that is both solution focused AND interpersonal.

Presenting Problem –>Collaborative Diagnosis/Goal setting –> *[empathy ->validation ->here/now ->collaboration on meeting goals/objectives and responding to thoughts, feelings, behaviors] –> small habit change attempts –> post hoc insight.

In this model the primary work is in the interpersonal dynamics (the stuff in the brackets) and insight is more what happens after change takes place: “Oh, that’s what I was thinking then and this other way helped me to change that.” If this alternative model is a bit more accurate in portraying how people actually do change via God’s grace then this is my big question: how might this model change how we use the Scriptures in counseling.

Make any sense?  If anyone has artistic capability to render these diagrams I’d love to see how you’d do them.

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Society for Christian Psychology Conference


Folks, those interested in the field of Christian psychology and counseling should consider making last minute plans for a September conference in Chicago. The Society for Christian Psychology: www.christianpsych.org, a division of the AACC, is holding a great conference Sept 18-20 in the northwestern suburbs of Chicago. It will be small and very intimate conference and the speakers are great. You can read more on the site but with theologians Kevin Vanhoozer andTremper Longman, and quality counselors like Leslie Vernick, Mike Emlet, and many more doing breakouts, the conference ought to be quite meaty!

So, if you want to grow in your understanding of Christian models of change, haven’t decided to go and you’ve always wanted to take a road-trip to the windy city, then take the plunge and sign up.

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On the problem of cutting: The secret under the sleeve


Writer Amy Sondova, a former student and now friend of mine, has expertise in many areas including the problem of cutting. Playing on my friendship with her I asked if she would write here just a little on the topic. Here’s what she wrote (following her bio):

Who is Amy? Amy Sondova is a writer specializing in media writing, including interviews and reviews, as well as blogging. Having interviewed over 30 of the top musicians, writers, and speakers in the Christian media, Amy has also written countless columns, reviews, and articles on various topics including mental illness, self-injury, working with teenagers, and Christianity. As well as holding a B.A. in communications, Amy holds a M.A. in biblical counseling, and has worked as a professional therapist. You can visit Amy’s blog at amysondova.comor check out her online e-zine, BackseatWriter.com, a faith-based site focusing on God, culture, music, mental health, and photography.

Cutting: The Secret Under the Sleeve

 

By Amy Sondova  She’s a cutter—one of the many in a growing community of self-mutilators who wear their pain, anger, and frustration by cutting various parts of their bodies with sharp objects.  You would not know she’s a cutter to look at her; she smiles broadly, perhaps a little too broadly at times. She seems normal if not a little melancholy.  But look in her eyes and then you will see her torment. You can always tell a cutter by the lack of luster in her eyes.

 

Cutting is a form of self-injury–the act of purposely injuring oneself using a sharp object such as a razor, scissors, knife, etc.  In addition to cutting, self-injury also includes carving, scratching, branding, marking, picking and pulling skin and hair, burns or abrasions, biting, and head banging.   Most self-mutilators are between the ages of 11 to 30 and 97% are female.  

 

Not only is cutting a stress relieving coping mechanism, but the physical pain creates a sense of livelihood, and most times physical pain is dull compared to the piercing pain in her soul.   No one can see her inner turmoil, so she has transformed her emotions onto her flesh to make you and everyone else understand that she is hurting.

 

Cutting is not usually an act of suicide.  One cutter wrote on her website, “I don’t want to die.  I self-injure to stay alive, to deal with the unbearable.  If I wanted to die, then I wouldn’t be here now” (Secret Shame, 2004.) 

 

Along with sexual and other types of abuse, there are several mental disorders associated with self-injurious behavior, which include borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, clinical depression, bipolar disorder, and multiple personality disorder.  Remember, even if an individual suffers from a mental illness along with her cutting, she is more than her diagnosis.  She is human being created in the image of God.

 

The only hope for a cutter lies in God because no one can ever understand the pain except for Him. He sees the inner torments and can provide relief.  There is no hope attached to the end of the razor blade…only the manifestation of a tortured soul.  Self-mutilation is still taboo in many churches today, but as their forms fill our pristine halls, the church cannot cover its eyes any longer.  We must be prepared to minister to what many are calling “the new anorexia” before a generation mutilates itself beyond recognition.

 

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Filed under Abuse, christian counseling, christian psychology, Depression, Psychology

Like a kid in a candy shop


I got two books in the last week that are like candy for me:

1. A Year with CS Lewis (Zondervan). My friend John Freeman gave it to me as a gift. Daily readings from Lewis. Can’t wait to get started on it.

2. Clinical Supervision: A competency-based approach. Yes, really, I’m excited by this. Saw a copy at my friend Mike Emlet’s office and had to get my own. This book has great assessments for both supervisees and supervisors. One of the most important parts of counseling training is the supervision. And many times it is the weakest since many do not know how to supervise well. I’m hoping to get some good ideas from this to help our students make the most out of their internships.

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Don’t Miss: Destructive Relationships Seminar


Shameless promotion for a class at Biblical. You can come for Friday night or both Friday and Saturday. Check it out and get a free book with your registration!

Summer Counseling Seminar at Biblical Seminary

Who should attend:

Counselors

Lay Counselors

Church leaders

 

Popular author and speaker, Leslie Vernick, is offering a weekend seminar on her new book

 Abusive and Destructive Relationships

Seeing Them! Stopping Them! Surviving Them!

Friday August 8th 6-9pm &

Saturday August 9th 9am-5pm

Audit rate only $142

Or

Friday night only for the Topic Overview for $30

Overview includes: general definitions, how to say “no” and mean it, having the courage to make choices, how to invite someone into healthy change to break destructive patterns, how to speak thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.

Sign up by Wednesday August 6th and receive the book FREE          http://cart.leslievernick.com/images/book_emotional_catalog_home.jpg

 

 

Call Bonnie at 1-800-235-4021 x 117

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Filed under Abuse, biblical counseling, Biblical Seminary, christian counseling, christian psychology, counseling skills, marriage, Relationships, teaching counseling