Category Archives: biblical counseling

October 31, 2007 · 9:55 am

CCEF’s Annual Conference Topic: Anxiety


Starting Friday, CCEF is running its annual conference in Valley Forge, PA. You can click this linkto register or view speakers and breakouts. Several look pretty good. The keynote is by Ed Welch who is releasing his new book on the topic (free to conference registrants). By the way, his picture is on the page link above. Do you think it looks likes he’s trying to scare little children with that attack position? I’ll be there manning the Biblical Seminary booth and possibly live-blogging if the Wi-Fi is free as it was last year. If you are going to be there, come by and say hello.

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September 27, 2007 · 9:25 am

Emotionally Destructive Relationships 2


Previously, I introduced Leslie Vernick’s The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing it, Stopping it, Surviving it (2007 Harvest House). Here’s some more tidbits from the rest of Part one (Seeing it):

1. Chapter two covers the typical emotional, physical, mental, relational, generational, and spiritual effects of destructive relationships. Of note, Leslie says, “Perhaps one of the most serious long-term relational effects of interpersonal sin is how it shapes our view of ourselves and others.” (p. 55). This is a good point. Those who grow up in one of these kinds of relationships are like a starving person in the corner of a banquet hall where only one person is allowed to eat, where all the food is only for one person. That starving person may then grow up and either become a demanding person who starves those in their own banquet hall (under the guise of, “I will never be treated that way again”) or remain highly dependant on others and open to continually being used.

2. Chapter 3 helps the reader to avoid seeing self only as wounded or victim but as one who, due to the fall, responds sinfully to a sinful world. Leslie does not let the reader use excuses (e.g., I was abused so I can’t help that I’m harsh with others) when confronted with one’s own destructive tendencies. She paints a picture of what a Godly response looks like when we come face to face with our own sinfulness: face our brokenness and ask for forgiveness; Take responsibility for your part of the problem; Make an effort to change. In contrast, the immature response to our brokenness: refusal to listen, defensiveness; Blindness and denial; Unwillingness to change (saying I know, I’m sorry doesn’t equal change).

This is where many couples flounder. They feel that if they agree with their spouse’s criticisms and acknowledge their own destructive patterns, the other will get off without having to admit theirs. And so we hear, “yes, I know that I shouldn’t…but you…”.

3. Chapters 4-5 explore destructive themes of the heart: pride, anger, envy, selfishness, laziness, evil, and fear. A key point is that many of the things we want and desire in relationships are not bad. The problem is that these things turn into demands. Who doesn’t want to be understood? But it is possible to make that a demand and an excuse for our own destructive patterns. We like to suggest that other people’s sins cause us to respond in kind. In fact the environment is only the trigger that exposes our heart’s demands. Finally, Leslie points out that fear may not look at controlling and destructive to relationships, “Relationally, fearful people  don’t want to be gods, like the proud person does, but they allow their lives to be ruled by others instead of God.” And fear leads to the temptation to try to protect oneself from relational pain by demanding of others, “I need!”

What I like about Leslie’s writing (this and in other books as well) is that she avoids the black/white view of victims and victimizers. It is hard to read her books and not be convicted, even if you are suffering much at the hands of others.

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September 12, 2007 · 1:15 pm

Ed Welch at the Society Conference


Ed talked this am about how he thinks about biblical counseling, integration, and Christian psychology. He sees Christian Psychology as founded upon two good ideas: (a) building a solid infrastructure for our Christian work (in the past christian counseling hasn’t done this well), and (b) helpful listening and dialog so that we can learn from each other (and we haven’t done this well in the past either).

He acknowledged that given his milieu at CCEF and Westminster Seminary, the issues of integration aren’t primary. They might well be for others but haven’t been for him.  He discussed how he sees secular literature. He reads it and enjoys it when stimulating and not so much when it is boring or overly preachy in worldview. As a teacher he asks his students to engage this literature and read it carefully.

What has been more of a primary focus for him is how we access Scripture and the person of Jesus Christ. He spent a considerable amount of his talk on making sure we see problems from Scripture’s multiperspectival approach. As example he used the concept of low self-esteem. In the 80s, biblical counselors rightly pointed out that low self-esteem was poorly masked pride and egocentrism (wanting to look more highly than we think we do).  And yet, he admitted that this is not all that Scripture has to say about the chronic feelings of not measuring up. First, there is the impact of Adam’s original sin. We are in places where we feel guilty because we do not measure up. Second, we must acknowledge the sin done to us and how that shapes our sense of self. As biblical counselors we need to have this rich understanding of problems and not treat issues such as self-esteem from only one perspective.

Ed’s talk was personal and open, as usual. Its really hard to dislike him or to disagree with him–even if I wanted to. I am biased as I have always liked listening to him muse about life. I am glad he has come and lent his voice to the conversation here. It will help those only exposed to radical forms of biblical counseling see a better example and also will help Ed see how others see biblical counseling.

Later in the day, Steve Zombory (Palm Beach Atlantic University) gave a talk entitled, “Why I am not a biblical counselor.” He brought to light some of the lack of self-critique within the movement, the stagnation that may come as a result of not interacting with developments of mind/brain research, of misrepresenting academic psychology. These are some of the complaints I have also raised. He did also suggest that biblical counseling lacks a broad understanding of suffering (I highly disagree) and doesn’t interact with serious pathology (I disagree here but understand that their public writings haven’t been as focused here as much as their teaching). Later, Welch and Zombory will have a public dialog. Should be good.

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August 29, 2007 · 11:15 am

The state and future of biblical counseling, Part 2


Let me first make two caveats about this posts before I talk about some of the weaknesses of the movement. I should first say that this and yesterday’s posts are not exhaustive evaluations of biblical counseling. Yesterday, I tried to describe what I think are the key features of biblical counseling–the features that I find very compelling. Second, remember these have to be stereotypes. Biblical counselors come in all shapes and sizes and skill level. So, try not to be offended if I paint biblical counseling too nice or not nice enough…

As I said yesterday, biblical counseling has spent much time considering how to disciple broken and sinful people through life in a broken and sinful world. Biblical counseling focuses on how to live faithfully, to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly in the circumstances we find ourselves in. And yes, a key component is taking one self to task to put off the old self and put on the new.

What are some of the weaknesses?

1. Isolationist. Whether forced or by choice, biblical counselors have done less collaboration with other mental health theorists and professionals. This may lead to suspicion of other models and less interest in learning from the skills of others.  Frankly, sometimes it leads to dishonesty. Biblical counselors have benefitted from the insights or other christian and nonChristian authors. You do see evidences of cognitive/behavioral theory, evidences of particular ways of handling certain disorders. And yet, not many footnotes acknowledging those influences.

2. Individualist. Counselors recognize that counselees have little power to change circumstances or others. What they do have the power to do is to be responsible for their own attitudes and actions. However, moving to responsibility sometimes happens too quickly by biblical counselors. “Yes, your spouse’s critical spirit is a difficult thing…let’s look at how your response to her…Yes, your abuse as a child was sin, but now lets look at your unwillingness to…” We do need to get to how the counselee will choose to respond to their world and yet we also need to understand and name the impact of the community. Many false names (from within and without) have been given to these kinds of situations. Therefore, the person needs time to explore what names and stories they use to define themselves first. They need someone to hear their story even if it is full of misperceptions. Biblical counseling tends to deal primarily with individual change without looking at the impact of the larger system on that change.

3. Justice seeking; suffering reduction. If as in #2, the focus of biblical counseling has been on individual sanctification, then it may be that less focus has been on how to seek justice when sinned against and less focus on finding specific ways to counter the physical/psychological effects of the fall. Biblical counseling loving people need to advance our understanding of how the body impacts human responses to trouble. Some biblical counselors are beginning to do this. I think of my friend, Mike Emlet (CCEF), who has taught about how to think and respond to difficult, impulsive, and emotionally labile children.  He has helped me think about the role of the body in rebellious children. Why is it that children (and us adults) are more irritable when tired or hungry? While biblical counselors have rightly said that we ought not excuse our behaviors with circumstances. We shouldn’t say, “I’m sorry I blew up at you. I was tired.” It sounds blameshifting, right? And yet, some do have less control when tired and hungry. Can we be as careful in developing help as we are in developing accurate diagnosis of sin?

4. Exhortational and goal oriented. Despite progress, I think most biblical counseling is about telling and exhortation toward good goals. In reality, most of my clients know what goal they should be working towards and can name their sin. But they are still stuck. Biblical counselors need much more work (at least in their writings) on the nature of incarnational relationships and the change that takes place in counseling processes that include validation, choice, silence, reflection, etc. I think a deeper understanding of emotion and interpersonal processes might help here.

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August 28, 2007 · 11:47 am

The state and future of biblical counseling, Part 1


Tonight I’ll be speaking to a local church board on the topic of counseling models and the church. In particular, I’ll be exploring the strengths and weaknesses of biblical counseling and christian psychology. As a refresher, I looked at a draft of a review/critique of biblical counseling I once wrote but never published. Today I’ll give a summary of the finer points of biblical counseling. Tomorrow, I’ll mention some weaknesses that I would like to see addressed.

First, there is no one biblical counseling model. But, I do think most models are modern-day version of the Puritan pastoral care tradition best resurrected by Jay Adams and then a couple of generations of Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation faculty. Here are some key characteristics:

1. Its all about God’s glory and our perfection.
Since all of life is to be about the worship of God and enjoying the covenant blessings of being God’s people, then biblical counseling strives to be a combination of reorienting worship, mercy ministry, discipleship, and an aid in the process of sanctification. John Piper (2001 Living Faith Conference) offered this passionate definition that captures much of that sentiment—that biblical counseling is to be, “God-centered, Bible-saturated, emotionally-in-touch use of language to help people become God-besotted, Christ-exalting, joyfully self-forgetting lovers of people.”

Don’t mistake biblical counseling as ONLY sin focused. Like the Puritans, biblical counseling sees suffering as an opportunity to suffer faithfully and explore how we respond to suffering and sickness (either God or self oriented). Our responses to the difficulties of life do reveal what we worship and seek in this life: God? Comfort? Escape? Pleasure? Perfection? Being significant? Being Safe?

2. Sola Scriptura.
If you couldn’t tell yet, much of biblical counseling is Reformed. Scripture is central to everything post Luther and Calvin. The Bible isn’t a textbook on counseling and yet it is also more than a pointer to God. It reveals deep riches for every situation we find ourselves in. It offers rebuke, hope, comfort, training, insight, direction, and God himself.

3. Critical Evaluations of humanistic change models.
Biblical Counseling formed as a reaction to humanistic models of change that neutered the church as an agent of change. These models had lost the godward, motivational nature of human behavior. Thus the movement is quite adept at pointing out where models of change treat humans as only victims, as if they have all the power they need to change, etc.

4. Nonproprietary.
Biblical Counseling is based on the idea that every believer functions as a counselor to other believers. There is no need for secret knowledge, no guild, no professional credentials. While wisdom and Christian maturity may enable some to deal with more complex issues and people, the treatment will be the same for all: Seek the face of God, love God and others in the moment, trust God for things you cannot change and when things seem dark and dismal, repent and trust God all over again each day.

Notice this model is not particularly focused on ending suffering nor on teaching skills (but the model doesn’t oppose these either). Rather, one works with broken and sinful people in a broken and sinful world live faithfully and in daily trust of God for all things. The biblical counselor hopes to help the client respond in faith when angry, fearful, grieving, confused, etc. And when that happens, the client may experience more joy and peace and less self-induced turmoil.

But what happens when one is dealing with a bi-polar spouse? Or the relentless intrusion of disgusting and sexual imagery into the mind? Or the anxiety after sexual assault? Do biblical counselors have the tools to help end suffering where it is possible?

We’ll look at some of these questions tomorrow.  But, ponder a variant of a question I was asked a number of years ago. “Does Biblical counseling work to end suffering? Does anyone who loves biblical counseling work to advance our understanding of how the body works in the finest details? Would they pursue the best forms of teaching autistic children? Would they work to understand the way the brain processes trauma? If not, why not? Why aren’t their biblical counseling scientists?”

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June 7, 2007 · 8:02 am

Christian put-downs? Do they fit in the mission of God?


In the world that I live in (theological academia) we engage in hearty discussions about the positions and ideas others put in the public domain. When discussing a theological point, we debate who is the closest to being right and are quick to point out where eminent thinkers have wandered off the path of reason and truth. Most of the time, this is done in the spirit of desiring to have increasing knowledge and wisdom. Well, maybe not most of the time, but at least part of the time. Of course, we usually think that our thoughts and ideas are closer to God’s truth than our counterparts. This is especially true when we begin to think critically about long-held ideas and beliefs–ideas and beliefs that we, along with the majority, held explicitly or implicitly. But something else happens when we find ourselves in the minority opinion. Continue reading →

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Filed under biblical counseling, Cognitive biases, Doctrine/Theology, Evangelicals, missional

May 18, 2007 · 5:12 am

2007 NBCA Conference Presentation


Lord willing, tonight I will be addressing the attendees of the 2007 National Biblical Counselors Association conference. I plan to review the present state and future of the biblical counseling movement. The last written review of the movement was published in 1988 by David Powlison (Journal of Pastoral Practice, vol. 9). Its time we took stock of ourselves and where we yet need to grow. Slides I’m using to keep me on track are posted on my slides and things page (see the top of the page).  

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March 27, 2007 · 11:24 am

By what story do you construct your life?


By what story do you construct your life? What story dominates your life? Continue reading →

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Filed under biblical counseling, christian counseling, Cultural Anthropology, Identity, Meditations

February 12, 2007 · 1:48 pm

Can you be a Christian and a homosexual?


Okay, I may regret this… (that should probably be a warning to me to stop now) but here’s a quote taken from a newsletter I got in the mail today. I’m NOT interested in blasting anyone nor am I interested in fighting, arguing, debating with readers whether homosexuality is a sin or not. Save that for a different blog please. But, I WOULD be interested in how you would lovingly respond, as a Christian, to this quote should the author have made it in your presence.

“I fully understand that a person who IS a homosexual (lesbian) or effeminate IS NOT a Christian no matter how passionate his or her claim.”

How might you respond? What questions would you want to ask? How might you challenge this thinking with Scripture?

It would seem to me that if you followed this quotation to its logical end, you would have to say that anyone who is a gossip, who is a cheat, who lusts, who is embittered, who struggles with any sin pattern is not a Christian.

The author also assumes effeminate means wrong. So, the guy who hates sports, doesn’t like beer, likes to garden, is quiet and introverted is living sinfully?

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January 31, 2007 · 5:39 am

Fighting anxiety on 3 fronts


Anxiety (panic, OCD, PTSD, Generalized, phobias, etc.) is a multidetermined event. Any attempt to simplify down to either physiology or spiritual will be problematic. It is always a bodily event (everything we do is mediated through the cells), and it is always a spiritual event (nothing we do is neutral, everything either glorifies God or self). Multidetermined problems need multifaceted attacks. I think we do best to challenge our anxiety on these three fronts. Each front requires both body and soul so be careful not to think that one of the fronts is spiritual, one psychological, and one physical. All are involved in each front. Continue reading →

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