After trauma, what does recovery look like? Is it possible to “move on?” How can you when you can never unsee or unremember what happened to you?
Is it possible to experience joy rather than emotional pain when remembering past or ongoing hurts? If so, just what does that look and feel like for the victim? What can be expected if I am “healed”? Can I be free from the typical experience of trauma (e.g., Hopelessness, despair, anxiety, confusion, shame, anger, loss of identity, feeling stuck but the demand to act as if the trauma did not take place, and spiritual angst over the goodness and love of God)?
As Diane Langberg has so aptly reminded us, “Trauma is the mission field of this century.” Around the world there is much openness to talk about the impact of trauma and to use spiritual practices as part of the recovery process. In Christian language, we talk about healing the wounds of the heart and one of the best programs out there is the Trauma Healing Institute’s, Healing the Wounds of Trauma. This program is based on the strong Christian belief that God, through the work of the Holy Spirit and the Scriptures, is in the business of healing wounded hearts. At the heart of this belief sits two important passages:
Isa 61:1-4 The Spirit of the Lord Yahweh is upon me, because Yahweh has anointed me, he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim release to the captives and liberation to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of Yahweh’s favor, and our God’s day of vengeance, to comfort all those in mourning, to give for those in mourning in Zion, to give them a head wrap instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of a faint spirit.
2 Cor 4: 16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart, but even if our outer person is being destroyed, yet our inner person is being renewed day after day. For our momentary light affliction is producing in us an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure and proportion, because we are not looking at what is seen, but what is not seen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is not seen is eternal.
These two beautiful passages present a picture of recovery. Good news, release, favor, comfort, joy and beauty in place of mourning and oppression. Renewal in the face of affliction. But what does this mean in real life? Does a “double portion” instead of shame feel like to a victim of sexual trauma? What does renewal and release feel like after a natural disaster?
Prognosis for Complete Recovery?
If you suffer a serious knee injury requiring surgery, you will need time for rehabilitation. But rehab does not necessarily mean you will recover the full range of motion you once had, or that your knee will be entirely pain free when you are finished with physical therapy. Your prognosis for recovery depends on many factors such as age, extent of injury, physical health prior to the accident, and availability of quality care. Even with the best care provided to top athletes, recovery may not lead to return to top form. For example, an Olympic skier may be able to ski again but not at a quality that allows for competitive skiing.
What about the prognosis for spiritual and emotional recovery? Of course, just as in the knee injury example, the answer must be “it depends.” Still, considering the two passages above, words like liberation, joy, release, and renewal shape our imagination for recovery. Do we imagine complete recovery to top spiritual and emotional form, without pain and limitation? It appears to me that we sometimes imagine emotional and spiritual healing without taking consideration the reality of broken bodies and a fallen world. We are not guaranteed a pain free life or faith without distressing questions. In fact, Paul’s beautiful words in 2 Corinthians bear this out. afflicted in every way, persecuted, perplexed, persecuted, struck down, always carrying around death, burdened, groaning and more. Yes, he also says not crushed, not despairing, not destroyed, but alive. But both must be considered together at the same time if we are indeed to imagine our prognosis. Recovery means comfort and lament, joy in mourning, perplexed while trusting, dying yet alive.
Sprouts of Justice and Recovery?
Isaiah describes sprouts of justice and righteousness beginning in the recovery of the oppressed (Isa 61:11). As a gardener, I see sprouts as the beginning of hope. After planting seeds, the tiny sprouts give me hope for a later harvest but that hope is still tempered with the knowledge of the challenge of getting sprouts to develop into fruited plants. I have to be vigilant about bugs, weeds, and drought. I need to cultivate and fertilize or my sprouts will not turn into much. And even if I do everything right, the seed may be weak or the weather may mean I only have spindly or stunted plants that cannot bear much fruit. Yet, the sight of sprouts brings the hope that empowers us to keep at the gardening work.
So, what are these sprouts of justice and recovery that victims of trauma may first see that encourage hope and further empowerment? Consider some of these:
- Capacity to Name Truth and Justice
Recovery begins when oppressed people find words to name injustices done to self and other. For example, a victim of domestic violence may become well aware of the subtle signs of verbal and emotional coercion, long before any physical violence. They become the canary in the mine, aware of poison that others may not yet sense.
As this capacity grows beyond a mere sprout, the person may be able to speak the truth aloud, even with courage to say it to leaders.
As naming capacity grows, it moves from awareness of personal risk to capacity to notice and care for the injustices others experience
- Accepting weaknesses without hopelessness
Part of recovery requires honest reflection of the damage done. Signs of recovery include the ability to recognize limitations and working within capacity without self-hatred (though there may be lament for losses of previously held abilities). When we truly accept the “new normal” we then can stop evaluating daily life from the perspective of who we used to be
As we accept our limits, we can then begin to see the opportunities we do have even within our limitations
- Identify resilience and new capacities in the midst of struggle
There may be new capacities we never observed before (e.g., the capacity to speak up to power, the ability to withstand rejection, increased empathy for the pain of others). We now notice these resiliences and growth as they stand on their own
Though we will not call the suffering good, we will be able to identify blessings that we have received in spite of and as a result of the trauma experienced
Be Careful Not to Damage the Sprouts
For those who are not attempting the impossible, to “move on” from trauma and abuse, it is good to remember that sprouts are tender and can be easily damaged with too much interference. You may need to leave a few weeds you see near the fledgling plants so as not to disturb their roots or bruise the green shoots. How do we do this to the sprouts of recovery? We may unintentional limit growth by questioning why the person learning to speak the truth isn’t doing it in a even-tempered manner. Sadly, too often those in domestically violent marriages are told to stop being so dramatic and to calm down when they begin to speak about the truth of the violence they have experienced. Or, we can point out the sins of the victim as if somehow their responsive sins eliminate their right to speak up about the trauma they experienced. Or, we can hear someone accepting brokenness and accuse them of not trusting God for complete healing.
Nurture recovery as you would a tender plant. It is a scandalous act of grace! By paying attention to safety needs, by bearing witness to trauma, by being willing to lament and to stay connected, we provide a greenhouse for such plants to grow into levels of recovery never before dreamed of.
9 responses to “What does recovery look like after traumatic experiences”
Absolutely amazing post. I can relate on so many levels!
Reblogged this on Incremental Healing and commented:
Absolutely amazing post. I can relate on so many levels! One line in particular validates everything I shared in my post earlier today, “Part of recovery requires honest reflection of the damage done.” Well worth the read…
Great post. I especially liked your analogy of allowing some weeds to grow alongside the new plant and not interfering too quickly in the process.
I discovered this blog through a re-blog on Kamea’s blog. This is such a timely post for me. Healing and recovery, for me, felt like I was floating around, no longer grounded, but I still needed to function at the same level as before realization of the abuse, which I found impossible to accomplish. “Recovery begins when oppressed people find words to name injustices done to self and others.” This really resonated with me because when I learned there was a name for my abuse, it was a clear turning point for me, and I was able to touch my feet to the ground again; albeit nothing is like it was before, but it’s getting better. I guess this is what you mean when you say the “new normal.” I needed this revelation because I’ve been waiting “to get back to the way it used to be.” Thank you so much for sharing this post. I am looking forward to reading more of your blog. Bless you.
Reblogged this on FOUNDATIONS CHRISTIAN COUNSELING SERVICES' Blog and commented:
An Excellent Blog by my former professor at Biblical Seminary, Phil Monroe.
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Reblogged this on Our Unseen Hope.
This is so helpful to me. Thank you for sharing!
“Or, we can point out the sins of the victim as if somehow their responsive sins eliminate their right to speak up about the trauma they experienced.” This is so true. At one point I called a woman I knew, who is pastor’s wife, desparate for help to leave my abusive husband. After describing the abuse, her first question was, “What would he say about you?” I was stunned. But not surprised. Her response was predictable considering the responses of other pastors and leaders in the other churches I had attended.