I prefer to either fail miserably or to hit a home run. What I hate is to put my all in it, come close to a great job done but realize my effort wasn’t good enough. You know, coming in 4th in the Olympics is more painful than 10th. Maybe this relates to that glory in self thing I wrote about yesterday.
What prompts this thought? On Friday I spent the entire afternoon putting on a new gutter on my house. I knew it would be a stretch for me since I’ve never done that, would be doing it alone, and am not great with my hands. After 4 hours of going up and down my ladder, using an electric screwdriver over my head, I installed 31.5 feet of gutter to my back roof.
It looked great. And just in time since a tropical storm was passing by our area. I enjoyed knowing I had accomplished a task that was difficult (for me).
Then the storm came. The gutter worked great…except it was 3 inches too short. My roof overhangs the fascia board by 3 inches on one end. I neatly lined the gutter to the edge of the fascia board. It’s amazing just how much water runs down that little bit of roof.
I want it to be good enough but the fact is it isn’t. Too much water comes down and puddles near the foundation. It must be changed. It will require I go back up the ladder, loosen the fasteners, slide the gutter over, and manufacture another end piece that is 3 inches longer than the last one I did.
How do you respond to the realization that something you worked hard enough on isn’t good enough? My response is to keep wishing it is good enough. Just don’t go into the back yard and don’t look up. Don’t look out the kitchen window when it is raining. This is the proverbial ostrich response. My second response is to figure out if there is some easy way out. A simple fix. I’ll spend a good deal of time trying this path even though I could expend less energy in just fixing the problem. I just don’t want to give up and admit I screwed up.
I think I’m like this about my sin as well. I see my weaknesses and I’m tempted to ignore or find some creative way to call it good.