Tag Archives: counseling

January 7, 2010 · 5:33 pm

Accepting our part of the problem


Notice how hard it is to own our own stuff? Especially when the other person is the bigger problem? Consider the following conversation:

Speaker A: He’s such a jerk! I never want to talk to him again.

Speaker B: What happened?

Speaker A: He never told me that the assignment was due today or that it had to be done up professional. He just yelled at me when I asked him a question and told me I was going to get written up and reported to _____.

Speaker B: Wow that was so unlike him. He must have had something that was bothering him. Aren’t your assignments listed for you ahead of time?

Speaker A: Yeah, they are listed, but I wasn’t there when they put them up and because I have so much to do I couldn’t check what was listed and anyway he should tell me or at least cut me some slack since I work my butt off for him.

Without considering the wrongs or the mistakes of leader (which may be numerous!), notice that speaker A doesn’t tell you that he/she has a habit of forgetting to look at the assignment list nor that when the unnamed “he” called speaker A on messing up, speaker A then spoke in sarcastic and demeaning and defensive tones.

This is a fictional account. And yet we all struggle with saying, “I didn’t like how he treated me but to be fair, I keep forgetting to do what he asked.” “I wish he didn’t yell at me in front of everyone, but I have to admit I was goofing off and talking when I shouldn’t.” If I yell at my kids it is because I was tired or they deserved it. If I speed, it was because I was late. If I’m late it was because of bad traffic. If I didn’t finish my writing assignment it was because of some last-minute crisis. Notice how we take truths and turn them into defenses and thus avoid any blame at all.

What if you are only 10% of the blame for a conflict and your child/spouse/coworker/parent is to blame for the other 90%? Do you find it hard to say, “You know, when we were fighting yesterday, I said _________ and that was hurtful and wrong. Will you forgive me?” Do you find it hard to stop at the end of the sentence without adding, “but you….”

I do. So do my clients and my kids. We seem to think that if we acknowledge our part we let the other party off the hook. In fact, most frequently, when we own our part, the other party is MORE likely to own their stuff too.

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January 4, 2010 · 12:39 pm

Psychopathology Monday


Happy New Year all. Our semester begins today with the first session of Psychopathology for the first year students. Before launching into the various forms of mental illness and emotional maladies, we consider the larger concept of suffering. Without a careful understanding of (a) the nature, causes, and theology of suffering, (b) the meanings of suffering, and (c) our beliefs and responses to suffering, we counselors become a dangerous lot. We fall prey to simplistic understandings and responses–and fall prey to false hope and false despair.

Sound like a great way to start of the New Year? It does to me because we now have an opportunity to look at ourselves and our world with more realistic eyes than we may have during the stress of the holidays.

Coincidentally, we had a Sunday School class yesterday on the topic of suffering. Our church has buried 10 people who died before their time (so it seems to us!) in the past 5 years. Not only have we had these tragedies, we’ve also splanted a church and been in a transitional malaise for maybe 7 years? The class allowed individuals to talk about suffering and heartache. Good class. We heard those who felt that what was going on was a message from the Lord, from those who just felt confused and in pain, from those who felt the nearness of the Lord during these normal ups and downs of life in a fallen world.

What was said in multiple ways was that one’s perspective or expectations about suffering really impact how one feels about the struggle of life. If you expect life to always be healthy then repeated sicknesses and death will set you back. Someone said there that if you lived in a dirt hut that moving into a trailer would seem wonderful but if you lived in a palace, the trailer would seem a terrible thing.

So, what should we think about suffering and the seeming explosion of death and heartache?

  1. God is saying something AND yet He may not be sending some special message to us
  2. Our actions may cause some of our own suffering but living more righteous lives does not prevent suffering
  3. Suffering is to be expected in this world AND yet it is NOT THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE
  4. Isolation and failure to connect to others in suffering ALWAYS makes that suffering worse
  5. Even those who only observe those in suffering suffer as well and need to connect with others in order to avoid despair
  6. Good may come out of suffering, but suffering itself is not good
  7. God, through the cross, bears our suffering and yet it still hurts
  8. It will not last forever

Finally, how do you respond to suffering? Turn away? Become numb? Angry? Probably all the above, right? Take a moment to consider how you respond to suffering right in front of you and watch yourself for those trite statements that can hurt those who are already in pain.

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December 8, 2009 · 1:54 pm

End of semester thoughts


Looking at a stack of papers I need to grade and yet not feeling the energy to do so. Late night classes take more out of me than I care to admit. My physiology class ended with student presentations and a look at bipolar disorder. As we concluded the class, I asked them to remember that,

  1. Even with all the advances in neuroscience, we must humbly admit we still know little how we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
  2. It is good for counselors to keep learning about the body and at the same time hold what they know lightly. Tomorrow may bring evidence to the contrary
  3. Yet, what we know about the body can be helpful. We ought not to look down upon our ignorance but remember that doctors do not always explain or walk with patients
  4. There are great medical interventions available, but (and that but shouldn’t diminish what I said before it),
  5. Over and over we saw that the basics (maintaining balance in life, self-care, mindfulness) are so important to health, perspective, etc. No, they aren’t magic interventions. Yes, they pay-off over time rather than immediately.

On this last point I am pondering a bit and so let me be hyperbolic. Most people who come to see me for paid counseling come because they think (naively) I have some expertise that will shed light on their situation and a solution to their problems. They want me to do something. Why else pay that kind of money? And yet much of what I have to offer isn’t rocket science. Beyond a few fun techniques, what I have to offer is a listening ear, a willingness to walk with the other person in their travail, and encouragement to keep going back to the basics. Most people like the first two but balk at the last one. Why do we balk at going back to the basics? Two reasons: (1) we want something that will fix the problem NOW, and (2) we’ve tried the basics and they didn’t seem to work (see reason 1).

Examples of what I mean.

  • If you are a parent and you go to a counselor to deal with your young child’s behavior problem. More than likely, you will get some counselor telling you to use some reinforcement strategies. And what do many parents say? “I tried that and it didn’t work.” Chances are they did try it and either they didn’t keep at it or they didn’t realize they were doing something that reinforced the wrong thing, or they had a misguided view of what success should look like
  • A couple is struggling with fighting. They go to the counselor who encourages them to return to the basics of respectful talk. Usually, they will feel like they have already tried it–and it didn’t work. Chances are… You get the picture.

In physiology, we see that care for the body includes mindful meditation (My friend and former professor says a substitute word would be “watchfulness”) on the world as God sees it, developing and maintaining good circadian rhythms, watching food intake, exercise, maintaining healthy relationships and social supports. In every mental illness, these things are shown to decrease the severity of symptoms and delay relapse.

Here’s the problem: we forget the basics and because they don’t give immediate results, we go searching for other fast-acting mechanisms. For example, I want to feel safe. Instead of engaging in centering prayer over the long haul, I fall prey to the temptation to act in such a way to avoid all possible danger–thereby increasing my fears of danger.

If I don’t exercise (and I don’t much) I rarely get immediate feedback that my body is falling apart. If I don’t eat right, I don’t immediately gain 10 pounds. If I don’t pray, I don’t immediately get embittered. So, I assume that these basics aren’t all that important. Or, I know they are important but since they don’t pay off now, I don’t do them. I only do what demands I do it to avoid a crisis.

How do we stay on track with the basics? We need another person(s) willing to keep us on a short leash. As a kid I ran because I had a friend who was going to wonder where I was. As a doctoral student, I played basketball at 6 am because my peers would  ask me where I was. I lost some weight a couple of years ago because my wife and I worked together. Notice that the social accountability is a key facet to help us build the disciplines long enough to see that the pay off is more than can be delivered by an exciting new technique.

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December 1, 2009 · 12:04 pm

Chronic pain and the Christian faith


Last night’s Counseling & Physiology class covered the topic of chronic pain. There are a number of syndromes and disorders that cluster around pain as the presenting problem: Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, back pain, etc. Depending on which research study you read, some 9-17% of the population struggles with some form of chronic pain.

While these various forms of pain are quite different, there are some commonalities. Chronic and diffuse pain sufferers frequently experience some form of inflammation, fatigue, sleep disruption, negative mood, and poor memory (its hard to pay attention to new information when you are weighed down by pain). We don’t really know what causes what but we do know that these symptoms form a vicious cycle. If you don’t get restorative sleep, you experience more fatigue, you are more prone to negative thought patterns, your pain levels go up, memory goes down…and thus you don’t sleep well the next night, and so on. Researchers describe this vicious cycle in terms of “allostatic load”–the deleterious effects of chronic stress hormones without restorative sleep.

Because of the diffuse nature of pain (vs. focal) and the lack of obvious objective evidence of that pain (a big red spot, a swollen limb, etc.), chronic pain sufferers and their families struggle to understand whether or not the pain is real and what they are truly capable of doing. How do you measure pain levels? It’s pretty subjective! Thus, it encourages more “I should be able to…” thinking in all parties. Those not suffering chronic pain do more damage by implying that the person is just looking for attention, is just being lazy. Those suffering pain who either deny the pain and try to do too much or refuse to engage the world and withdraw from it do damage to themselves–real physical damage.

As with all physiological problems, one’s mood, one’s perceptions, one’s focus, one’s stress levels impact severity of the problem. While chronic pain is not just in one’s head, how one responds to chronic pain may help alleviate or elevate the pain sensations. Ironically, many pain sufferers resist counseling because they fear that others will believe that their symptoms are all in their head. Those who refuse to acknowledge the psychological factors in pain sensation and management miss out on important means to cope with the pain and to lower pain perceptions.

Chronic pain sufferers must accept the need to adjust their lifestyle to accommodate more rest. They must fight to get the best restorative sleep possible. These are probably their primary practical responses–even above medical treatments (and I’m not knocking medical treatments nor saying that just getting sleep will solve the problem).

One of the biggest challenges for pain sufferers is the matter of hope and faith. When we suffer problems, we often hope they will go away. And when they do not, or only get marginally better, it is easy to slide into despair. Despair usually is the result of things not going the way we hoped or expected they would. Part of dealing with chronic pain is grieving what is lost in order to accept–even enjoy–what strength and health we do have. Without hope, we lose what self-efficacy we once had, thus not doing the basic care-taking activities within our grasp. Interestingly, one of the clearest signs of this struggle is the massive dropouts in pain management research. Frequently, dropouts number about 50% in these studies. This means that before a study gets too far along many are dropping out because they assume the new treatment isn’t going work.

Faith is not that things will go my way right now but that God is in control, cares/protects me, and is working for my ultimate redemption–even when the opposite seems to be true. Faith is acting in a manner consistent with said assumptions even while grieving over real losses. Such faith enables us to be mindful of our thoughts so that we do not practice into beliefs counter to what we have come to know as true.

The chronic pain sufferer who grieves well (asks God for relief, stays in community with others, seeks relief through human means yet has an attitude of waiting on the Lord, and yet still willing to explore and confront hidden sin in self) begins to see that in the midst of the pain, God is there and providing momentary help. Such a person need not act as if the pain were nothing but will look for and rejoice in 5% improvement, 10% more comfort, etc, rather than demanding complete healing as the determinant as to whether God is present with them in their distress.

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November 20, 2009 · 1:40 pm

Edwin Friedman on the search for solutions…


Consider Edwin Friedman’s counsel to leaders in book, A Failure of Nerve (Seabury Books, 2007)

In the search for the solution to any problem, questions are always more important than answers because the way one frames the question, or the problem,  already predetermines the range of answers one can conceive in response. (p. 37)

Seems true for counselors as well. How a counselor begins the exploration of a client’s problem narrows the field of answers as to the problem and solutions. Now, assumptions are always present–especially in questions. So, asking questions doesn’t keep the field of view open unless one is willing to ask questions not normally conceived. It is difficult to remember to ask questions that run counter to our initial hypotheses. And yet such questions are necessary if we are going to counsel actual individuals and not mere figments of our imaginations.

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November 9, 2009 · 5:44 am

Thinking about moral responsibility and agency in TBI


Tonight I will assigned my Counseling & Physiology students a response paper to the following case study. As you read this fictional case, consider how you might answer these two questions:

  1. What are the spiritual issues in this case and how do you consider Tim’s limitations in considering these spiritual issues? What is his personal accountability in light of his functional limitations and injury?
  2. How might you advise Tim’s wife and pastor as they struggle to understand and respond to Tim’s inappropriate behavior?

Tim is a 34-year-old, married man and deacon in his church. Prior to a serious car accident 2 years ago, Tim was a successful general contractor generating income over $200,000 a year. 2 years ago, Tim suffered a traumatic brain injury when a drunk driver, traveling at a very high rate of speed, slammed into his vehicle. Damage to his brain was located in the frontal and temporal lobes. Tim spent a total of six months in the hospital and in rehab. Initially, He was in a coma for 3 weeks and not expected to recover. However, he did emerge from unconsciousness and with rehab regained his capacities to walk and talk. His memory is mostly intact, missing only the week prior to the accident and the five weeks post accident. He seems to be able to form new memories but complains that he has to write everything down or he will forget tasks. He also complains that it is hard for him to find words. His friends notice that his speech is slower now. He is oriented to person, place, and time.

Tim’s wife and pastor ask you to meet with him. Tim complies. In session he is affable, talkative, but unsure why others think he needs counseling. He notes that he works hard every day, uses his daily contacts in business to talk about God’s miraculous work in his life. He admits that he smokes now and should quit but that shouldn’t be reason enough to warrant counseling. He signs a release to talk to his wife and pastor.

You learn from his wife that Tim has numerous problems that did not exist prior to the accident. Most notably: he doesn’t complete work; fails to bill clients properly; seems to over-estimate what he can complete; work done does not meet his pre-accident quality; he is easily angered and even aggressive; he curses and smokes 2-3 packs per day (none prior to accident); he drinks; he spends beyond his means; he has periods of deep depression; he engages in foul language about sex; is demanding of sexual activity with his wife (but cannot perform since the accident); he flirts with other women.

Tim refuses to return for further appointments. His wife and pastor come to you to discuss options and how to think about Tim’s behavior. The church board has removed Tim from his diaconal position this week and is likely to initiate church discipline after it was discovered that he made a sexual comment to an 18-year-old girl (he commented (spoke admiringly) about her breast size).

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November 3, 2009 · 5:38 am

Philip Cushman’s prophetic words


One of my all-time favorite books is Philip Cushman’s Constructing the Self, Constructing America: A Cultural History of Psychotherapy. In this 1995 book he details the social constructed nature of psychotherapy. My Social & Cultural Foundations class is reading a summation of this book published in article form and so I picked the book back up and read through some of my more favorite parts.Here’s some of my choice quotes from the beginning:

“When social artifacts or institutions are taken for granted it usually means that they have developed functions in the society that are so integral to the culture that they are indispensable, unacknowledged, and finally invisible.” (p. 1)

“It [psychotherapy] is thought of as a scientific practice, yet it is anything but standardized or empirical, and it has not yet developed a disciplinewide consensus about how to think about patients or what to do with them. It is thought of as a medical practice, yet it has an enormous social and political impact.” (p. 2)

“…in order to understand American psychotherapy, we must study the world into which it was born and in which it currently resides.” (p. 4)

“Origin myths describe the origins of the discipline in such a way as to demonstrate the discipline’s utility for those in positions of power. This means that mainstream historians will shy away from portraying psychology as critical of the status quo and will avoid including within their work a critical exploration of the sociopolitical frame of reference in which the discipline is embedded.” (p. 5)

“…I will argue that the current configuration of the self is the empty self. The empty self is a way of being human; it is characterized by a pervasive sense of personal emptiness and is committed to the values of self-liberation through consumption. The empty self is the perfect complement to an economy that must stave off economic stagnation by arranging for the continual purchase and consumption of surplus goods. Psychotherapy is the profession responsible for treating the unfortunate personal effects of the empty self without disrupting the economic arrangements of consumerism. Psychotherapy is permeated by the philosophy of self-contained individualism, exists within the framework of consumerism, speaks the language of self-liberation, and thereby unknowingly reproduces some of the ills it is responsible for healing.” P. 6

Now, soon after 2000, Cushman wrote about the transition from the empty self to the “multiple self.” By this he was not talking about MPD or DID. He felt that the younger generation was no longer looking to find their true self in therapy but to maintain a fragmented self in a chaotic world. In this sense, “who am I at church, work, school, friends, dating, etc. and how can I keep all my pieces from crashing down altogether.”

But, it is interesting to read his view of psychotherapy as supporting the consumeristic economy (even encouraging it). I wonder how our current economic woes will impact the world of therapy….

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November 2, 2009 · 11:40 am

Technoethics?


At September’s AACC conference I attended a presentation entitled, “Technoethics” by Jana Vanderslice, a psychologist from Texas. She got me thinking about the use of e-mail and other Internet-based technologies with counselees. Here are some of the issues:

1. E-mail. Do you have a policy about your use of e-mail with counselees? Do you inform them about the limits or possible problems that might be encountered? Problems such as security and confidentiality, whether or not you will read them “in time”, what becomes of them (printed out and kept in a file?), whether or not you provide brief counseling through e-mail and possible charges, etc. Dr. Vanderslice suggests having a start to the email that says, “Confidential! This is not meant to take the place of in person consultation…”

2. If you do e-mail counseling, do you (a) know who you are emailing? What data do you collect from the person you provide email counseling to? And (b), do you think about how your email may sound if it is printed off and/or forwarded to others. You should assume that your electronic communications may be passed on. Further, if you have regular e-mail contact, how will you deal with the nature of always being at the beck and call of clientele?

3. Your Social networking accts. Do you use twitter? Do you have a Facebook or MySpace account or the like? Do you “friend” your clients? Do you have anything personal on the web you’d rather your clients didn’t see? This becomes a form of self-disclosure. There may be things revealed about yourself on-line that you would never reveal to a client. Remember, if the client is in the same Facebook network, they can likely see more of you than you might realize.

4. Google searches. Similarly, it might be worth your while to search yourself and see what is out there. Did you know that there are “rate my counselor” type sites out there? Many of these exist to help you find healthcare providers in your area, but include ratings by current or former clients. Do you know what others are saying about you?

5. IT and other providers. Who has access to your accounts and computer? Does your IT dept (if you are in a larger organization) know to honor HIPAA regulations? If you use a vendor (e.g., Geek Squad), they need to sign an agreement to maintain the privacy of the clientele data on your email or database. Can you encrypt email and/or WORD documents?

Can you think of other technoethics issues?

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October 26, 2009 · 9:13 am

PTSD and surgery mortality rates


Today I begin “Counseling & Physiology”, a crash course (6 weeks!) for my students to explore the mind/body connections and how counselors pay attention to the body even if not their primary focus.

Last week I saw this news item on my Medscape.com feed: “Veterans with PTSD twice as likely to die after surgery”

Here are some of the highlights from a research study done at the San Francisco VA and UC San Francisco:

  1. 10 year retrospective study of 1792 vets (ending in 2008). 7.8% had established dx of PTSD. On average vets with PTSD were 7 years younger than those without the diagnosis (you would think then, younger = higher survival rates). Surgeries studied were elective surgeries.
  2. 25% increase in mortality 1 year post surgery for vets with PTSD, even if surgery happens years after getting out of the service
  3. Mortality rates for these vets were higher than those with Diabetes
  4. PTSD is an independent risk factor for mortality
  5. DX of PTSD was associated with increased cardiac issues (may point to why the mortality rates are higher

Sobering research if you ask me. Let us not become lazy in our thinking. Emotional problems such as severe depression and anxiety (which PTSD tends to bring both together) have a substantial impact on the entire person, affecting every part of the person from cells to spirit. Neither let us believe that if the cells are involved in such a disorder that there is nothing that counselors can do. Clients can learn to manage and even defeat some of the symptoms of PTSD by taking control of their thought life.

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October 23, 2009 · 1:51 pm

The practice of unlicensed counseling


The practice of counseling, therapy, psychotherapy and other related terms is restricted to those with proper licensing in most, if not all, US states. Makes sense on most levels, right? You wouldn’t want to go to an unlicensed doctor for your appendectomy. In opposition to Holiday Inn’s ads, you wouldn’t want just anybody doing professional work on you. License control is supposed to protect the public from harm. Bad docs and bad therapists should lose their license and not be allowed to practice.

But with counseling and therapy, it gets a bit sticky. Lots of different professions do similar activities. Unlike surgeons, you have people from widely divergent schools of thought and training doing very similar things. LCSWs, LSWs, LMFTs, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, LPCs all do talk therapy. They all diagnose and intervene per their view of what is wrong and what needs to change (thoughts, behaviors. feelings, etc.).

And it gets stickier. Pastors, clergy, and religiously trained individuals do many of these as well. While they may not give DSM or ICD9 diagnoses and bill insurance companies, they do talk therapy with people who are depressed, anxious, angry, on the verge of divorce–just like all of those licensed people above.  In my world, there are pastoral counselors, biblical counselors, pastors who counsel, christian counselors, etc. Most of these in PA are not licensed by any body. (In PA we don’t have a pastoral counselor license as some states do.)

In an effort to tighten controls, there is a state effort underfoot (HB 1250) to tighten who can practice as a counselor. There were already controls but now the new bill would disallow someone like myself to hire or supervise an unlicensed (but in my opinion competent) person UNLESS they were actively in the process of becoming licensed.

Why does this matter?

1. There are many competent people doing counseling related work that are not licensed (nor could they be since their training is of a religious or pastoral nature). Should the state control these individuals? Right now they haven’t been actively going after these folk. The law will continue to remain vague: Here’s the restriction for LPC practice:

Only individuals who have received licenses as licensed professional counselors under this act may style themselves as licensed professional counselors and use the letters “L.P.C.” in connection with their names. It shall be unlawful for an individual to style oneself as a licensed professional counselor, advertise or offer to engage in the practice of professional counselor or use any words or symbols indicating or tending to indicate that the individual is a licensed professional counselor without holding a license in good standing under this act. [underline indicates new change in this paragraph]

Who decides what “engage in the practice of…or use any words…” constitutes? Obviously, one cannot intentionally lie but does the term therapy indicate a license?

2. There are many who provide pastoral care who are not ordained clergy. They have graduated from seminary-based programs that are not professional counseling programs. Yes, the current standard makes clear that it does not seek to limit the work of those acting under the legal auspices of a religious institution (i.e., are ordained by the church). But, should the state regulate those who provide biblical counsel but are not ordained? As long as these individuals make clear (informed consent) what it is they do and what they do not do, shouldn’t they be able to make a living? Research indicates that lay people can have tremendous success in helping those with depression and anxiety.

I’m all for protecting the public. But while licenses limit who gets to perform certain duties, it does not eliminate unethical or harmful practice. Further, much of psychotherapy is art as well as science. Artists can learn their trade in a variety of locations. What we need to do is to make sure the public can clearly identify the kind of counseling (and limits of) each counselor does. Second, those who provide biblical counseling ought to have some authoritative body. It would be great if they were recognized and “licensed” by denominations or organizations (e.g. the AACC who is trying to do this).

But I would hate to see the many seasoned, unlicensed counselors lose their ability to ply their trade.

That raises a question of analogy. Can anyone make a legal living cutting hair for a fee without a license?

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