Category Archives: Cultural Anthropology

February 9, 2009 · 11:06 am

Do you see your body as good?


At church on Sunday I attended a class discussing Lauren Winner’s “Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity” (Brazos, 2005). Her thesis (in the second chapter anyway) is that the church tends to have one of two responses to singles about sex: either be honest and loving (e.g., go ahead) or just don’t do it. She suggests that we look at the larger context of the “say no” passages in order to see God’s larger view of sex as good in the right settings. I won’t go any further here with that thesis but all that to say:

Winner wants us to think about the body as being good. And since the body is a sexual entity, that sex is also good. Got me thinking that most of us don’t see our bodies as something that is good. We focus on the fall and the brokenness we see. We see our lack of health. We see insatiable desire. We see danger. We see something that doesn’t measure up to the image we most want to see.

But here is the challenge. Did God make your body? Is it good? If you only focus on what is not good about your body, what are you missing? How are you marring the true story about your body?

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Filed under Biblical Reflection, christian counseling, Christianity, Cultural Anthropology, Doctrine/Theology, Identity, Psychology

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January 27, 2009 · 3:47 pm

Wasting Time?


If you are reading this, you are probably guilty of wasting time as there are likely hundreds of more important things you could and probably should be doing instead. But since you are here…

Wasting time is a rather subjective matter. While there are many things that we all would consider time wasters (e.g., reading junk emails from those wanting to send us their millions if only we would send them our bank acct. number) we may just as likely disagree whether or not other activities are a waste of time. For example, am I wasting time if I play video games? If I play them with my kids? Am I wasting time reading up on the daily news? making comments on FB friends’ sites? Following my favorite political blogs? Looking for just the right picture to go on my PowerPoint slides for a class? Watching a Monk episode?

How do you determine what is a waste of your precious time and what is useful? What criteria do you use? Here’s what I notice: I set an agenda most days and rarely complete even 1/2 of it. When the day is over, I routinely surmise I must have wasted time. I talked to staff, got coffee 3 times from the pot upstairs (this is NOT a waste of time as I ran up the stairs and used the stimulant to focus my train of thought), answered numerous emails, sent snail mail, edited the two blogs I moderate, got beat in a ping pong match against a student, deleted spam, worked on a chapter I’m writing, read from a new journal I received, returned calls, etc. But, I didn’t accomplish all I had on my list, so…

Notice that we often judge ourselves improperly. There are times when we should recognize time wasters and other times where we don’t do such a good job ascertaining what we really can accomplish. So, which are you? Do you overestimate what you should be able to do and therefore feel guilty for not being a superhero? Or do you tend to make excuses?

Now, get back to work, as I’ve just wasted 3 minutes of your precious work time.

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Filed under Cultural Anthropology, Psychology

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January 26, 2009 · 12:36 pm

Doing the unthinkable: Obeying Commands to do Evil


Have you ever wondered how a person could participate in a genocide? How was it that the average German citizen either explicitly or implicitly participated in the extermination of millions of Jews? Or consider the more recent genocides in Sudan, Rwanda, and the Congo. If you are honest, you’ve asked this question and have thought, “there’s just no way I would do something like that.”

Or would you? The January issue of the 2009 American Psychologist is devoted to the topic of obedience and the controversial studies by Stanley Milgram. Recall your Psych 101 class and the obedience studies in the 60s where he found that participants would be willing to shock “learners” when they made mistakes despite the learner’s protests. Shocks were administered to the point of the learner becoming non-responsive. Well, no, there wasn’t any real shocks in the study, but participants didn’t know that and agreed to obey the instructor and push buttons for increasing shock levels when the confederate learner made a mistake.

But, we’re more advanced nowadays, right? One of the authors, Jerry Burger (Santa Clara U.) modified Milgram’s study (by eliminating some of the ethical controversies in the study) and found that still obeyed the instructor to apply shocks even when the “learner” cried out and asked for it to stop–EVEN when they saw defiant participants (really, confederates) refuse to obey the instructor.

So, why do we not speak up? Why do we go along with bad ideas? What is it that happens when we know we should not go along with something but do anyway? What happens then to our conscience?

Is the problem the power of the situational factors, as some assume, that make us feel we should obey? Or is it our dislike of being in conflict that causes us to be willing to pass on conflict to another in order to stay free from it?

Consider how you have listened to off-color jokes and said nothing. Consider how you have watched someone do something inappropriate or say something inappropriate to another but decided to say nothing. While we can give ourselves a break due to the surprise and shock factor and time to consider what the best option should be, we have to admit we have times of non-action.      

I saw a recent TV show filmed at a deli where someone behind the counter made fun of individuals trying to order but lacking in English skills. It was all staged so as to see what would those waiting behind do. Would they agree with the ethnic comments? Would they stand up and demand the server stop the offensive language? Would they leave? Many did speak up, but some did not and some even participated in telling those immigrants to go back where they came from.

Fact is, we don’t like suffering and we prefer comfort. But, living in a sinful world means speaking up and taking one on the chin from time to time. Some of us have “hero” fantasies where we imagine us taking the high road, but if we are honest, we are just as likely to freeze up and go along with things we ought not.

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Filed under christian psychology, Christianity, conflicts, Cultural Anthropology, Psychology

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January 8, 2009 · 5:55 am

On apology


Yesterday I went to a local bookstore to buy a calender for my office wall and couldn’t help buy browsing some of their discounted books. Found this: On Apologyby Aaron Lazare (OUP, 2004). Lazare is a psychiatrist and Dean at UMASS Medical School. Have only read the first chapter but have found it interesting thus far. He explores the impression that apologies are on the rise from the early 1990s. Apparently, there are significantly more articles in all print media about apologies for wrongdoings from 1998-2002 than in the previous era of the 90s. He suggested several possible reasons: millennial angst (those wanting to clear their consciences prior to Y2K), the internetage where the world can uncover your sins much more easily (he gives several examples of how the digital age has caught people in statements that might otherwise have been missed). He also discusses the phenomena of “failed apologies” such as “I’m sorry if I might have hurt you”. These, he calls parasites that point to the real power of authentic apologies.

A couple of other tidbits. He says he will provide evidence that women apologize more than men AND more willing to admit culpability.

Second, he says this,

People who offer a pseudo-apology are unwilling to take the steps necessary for a genuine apology; that is, they do not acknowledge the offense adequately, or express genuine remorse, or offer appropriate reparations, including a commitment to make changes in the future. These three actions are the price of an effective apology. To undertake them requires honesty, generosity, humility, commitment, courage, and sacrifice. In other words, the rewards of an effective apology can only be earned. They cannot be stolen. (p. 9-10)

Do you agree with him? I like his description and the requirements, but I do think you can complete the 3 steps with falsehonesty, generosity, humility, etc. You can offer false remorse, reparations, and acknowledge the offense fully for reasons other than concern for the other.

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Filed under conflicts, Cultural Anthropology, Psychology

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December 11, 2008 · 9:57 am

Facebooking for 40+ year olds


Have you facebooked yet? If so, you might notice the explosion of users in their 4th and 5th decade of life. It’s become a great way to reconnect with old friends from high school and college. If Myspace was for teens then FB is for adults longing to reconnect in a world where they’ve left so many friends behind. I’m probably a perfect example. I don’t live and don’t visit the town I grew up in. I went to college in two different locations, grad school in two different locations and have moved about 10 times in the last 20 years. So, FB is a great way to reconnect

BUT….a friend and I were talking recently about the downside (besides the temptation to tell the world that you’ve just blown your nose (you know what I’m talking about if you FB) and besides the temptation to spend hours fooling around on the web instead of doing what you are supposed to be doing in your REAL life).

What else could go wrong? You could have those old teen feelings all over again! And worse, you are now (hopefully) more mature and realize what an moron you were back then and now that is all these old friends of yours remember you by!

1. You ask someone to be your “friend” and they ignore you. Do you remember that feeling in highschool?

2. Someone asks you to be their “friend” and your not sure you want to. Maybe they have goods on you and your foolish past. Maybe they’ll decide to remind you of it on your “wall” for the whole world to see.

3. Someone asks you to be their “friend” and you don’t remember them (or vice versa).

4. You join your high school group only to fear that you’ll be ignored–or worse!

Wow, I feel the pimples breaking out all over. No, actually, my FB experience has been just fine. Its good to see God’s handiwork in the lives of individuals–a testament to grace for fools for many of us, including me.

Now get back to your real work!

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Filed under church and culture, Cultural Anthropology, Uncategorized

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October 15, 2008 · 9:36 am

Rwanda’s Gacaca (truth and justice) courts


Am reading Romeo Dallaire’s memoir, Shake Hands with the Devil, of his time as UN commander in Rwanda before and during the 1994 genocide. It is amazing that this man isn’t in a psychiatric ward given his position as “observer” of the genocide and no power to do much of anything, even protect his own troops.

But last night I watched the documentary, In the Tall Grass, the story of a woman seeking justice in the village court (aka gacaca courts). The village turns out to hear her complaint that her neighbor killed her husband and children for being Tutsis. The villagers are asked what they saw and only one or two admit to seeing anything though it is assumed most know. The accused man admits to being present and “participating” in the killings but denies he struck the fatal blows. (They remain neighbors). His story is inconsistent. She claims she will forgive him if he confesses fully. He sticks to his story as being a witness to the events. But one woman stands up and tells the crowd how the children were murdered and where they are buried (the mother did not know this). So, the village goes and digs many holes in the area in order to find the children’s bodies–now 10 years later. They find them and several undertake, on film, to wash the bones and prepare them for proper burial. The accused participates in the washing and this woman watches it all.

I cannot fathom the experiences of 1994, of living next door to those who murdered your family, nor that of watching someone tenderly wash your child’s skull, rib-bones, etc.

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Filed under book reviews, conflicts, Cultural Anthropology, Forgiveness, Historical events, Movies, Rwanda

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September 22, 2008 · 10:28 am

Bobblehead Christianity


At the Society for Christian Psychology, JKA Smith (a Calvin Coll. philosopher) made an offhanded comment about bobblehead Christianity–the kind where the head is huge but the body is nearly non-existent. This image has really stuck with me.

We fill the head with truth and facts about our faith and we expect that to transform us into Christ. But we ignore the body, or the practices of the faith. He made mention of this problem in a discussion about worldview. He said something to this effect: “I think worldview conversations are important. I love worldview. I’d marry it if I could. But we must pay attention to our practices as they are attached to worldview and shape it in reverse. Worldview discourse places too much emphasis on what we think and less on what we do. We need to include visceral ways of knowing…tactile involvement in worship.” (phrases from my notes, not true quotation)

Seems we ought to take his critique to heart. Where are we overemphasizing truth statements or thinking about self as change agent and underemphasizing performing (use of disciplines) as acting into the truth as a work of the Holy Spirit?

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Filed under christian counseling, christian psychology, Christianity, church and culture, Cultural Anthropology, Doctrine/Theology, Evangelicals, Psychology

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August 20, 2008 · 5:53 am

Helping with one hand, hurting with the other


As humans we have the capacity to split ourselves. One minute we can help another, the next we can harm. A friend of a friend of mine recently admitted to taking advantage of another in a vulnerable position. This person seems quite wise. He has good advice when I’m stuck. He is able to see through knotty situations. People come to him for advice and counsel. And to a person they feel the better for it. But now it is evident that he manipulated someone for financial benefit. It wasn’t illegal but certainly immoral and unethical.

How is this possible. Can salt water and fresh come from the same source? It should not be possible but it is. I meditate on this in my own life. I can be gracious to my kids one minute and harsh the next. I can heal and I can kill the soul. We all have this capacity and so we must be on guard against complacency. It is easy to stand in judgment of the one who commits a heinous crime. When this person is a believer, we begin to question their honesty and integrity and disbelieve that any good done prior to the crime was of value. And while we should do that since something was clearly wrong and somehow the person has disconnected from his/her soul, we ought also to explore our own soul for the same disease.

May God help us to be unwilling to entertain or ignore self-deception.

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Filed under Abuse, Christianity, Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, Cultural Anthropology, Psychology, self-deception, sin

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July 28, 2008 · 5:47 am

What makes you feel like a ______ (man/woman)?


In a weak moment last week when I couldn’t take NPR or news radio I surfed the local radio stations in my car. Here are two phrases I heard in the span of 5 minutes. I have no idea who the artists are nor am I all that interested…

“Man, I feel like a woman.”
“I’m yo man…” (but something about needing to get down at her place because he had a girl at home)”

Suffice it to say I’m not going back anytime soon to the music on the radio. But, I will admit it got me thinking about how we know what feelings are quintessentially male or female. In the first song the woman feels like a woman because she has the power of attraction but does her own thing. In the second song, I assume the male singer feels like a man because he can sexually please a woman all night long.

What makes us male or female? (No, I’m not talking genetics here.) Sometimes we look at behaviors and interests. Sometimes we look at attitudes or attraction to the opposite sex. But most of the time I think we look at how others perceive us. If they treat us the way we think our gender should be treated (or, is commonly treated even if we don’t like it), then we feel like our gender. When we are invisible to others, treated differently (or so we perceive) based on our interests, behaviors, body type, etc. then we may feel that we are not like most of our gender.

Why is this important to consider? I have clients who have wondered about their orientation due to their feeling different than most of their friends of the same gender.

The simple answer is to assume that God makes a diverse group of males and females and that we ought not interpret our differences as having that much meaning. Of course, we rarely find the simple answer helpful. So what are we to do when we do not feel like others of our gender? Is this a big issue out there or just something we counselors see?

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Filed under christian counseling, christian psychology, Cultural Anthropology, Identity, Psychology, sexual identity, sexuality

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July 16, 2008 · 10:18 am

Is burn-out an American phenomenon?


Part of my sabbatical is designed to understand how better to help pastors and their families avoid the crash and burn. There are many pressures (finances, conflict, loneliness, the fishbowl, etc.) on ministry families and while any one of them may not be overwhelming, together they can bring a minister to his/her knees. Worse yet, they can tempt the leader to seek comfort in ungodly ways.

But a friend of mine who cares greatly for ministry leaders was recently talking to an African pastor. This pastor has NOTHING. He ministers to those who have NOTHING, to those living under trees. They live in a country that is in the midst of a civil war.  He has his wife spend months apart ministering to the poor. When my friend asked about pastoral burn-out, this pastor could not comprehend the question. It didn’t compute–and not because he didn’t understand the concept.

Why? Are we Americans soft and weak given that we live in the land of plenty? Probably. But are there other explanations? I think so. Foremost in my mind is the place of expectationsin the life of Western pastors. Expectations of success, growth, contentment (from self and church community) create pressure and when expectations are only partially met, it leads to the temptation to discouragement and looking to greener grass. Secondly, I think living in constant crisis without hope for change rarely allows for collapse–unless it is to die. It is common for the greatest emotional collapse to happen when one has the opportunity to pause and reflect. In crisis, we do not reflect. When the crisis abates, then we reflect and see that our assumptions and expectations do not fit with reality. It is that point that leads to either leaning on the Lord while changing our expectations to match his OR either trying harder or choosing another assumption that causes greater pain.

What do you think?

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Filed under Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, church and culture, Cultural Anthropology, pastoral renewal, pastors and pastoring

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