Before you go any further in this post, think about this….which of your longings/desires have the most shaping effect on your identity?
Most of us identify by birth order, by career, by gender, by education, by ethnicity, by geographical home or some other objective trait. But I want to suggest to you that we have a tendency to identify by what we long for. Someone who longs to be married may identify as a single-longing-for-marriage (NOTE: not every single feels this way!). Or, someone struggling with infertility may identify as infertile-longing-for-children. Or a former alcoholic may identify as an alcoholic to signal longing that he or she is very much fighting.
We are frustrated writers (desiring publication status), skeptics (longing for tangible truth but not quite believing in it), and more.
Imagine if you identified by a strong but seemingly unreachable desire. What impact would that have on your sense of self; your relationship with others–especially those who appear to get their heart’s desire?