Domestic Violence No-Nos

Staff meeting today was run by two colleagues presenting information from a recent PASCH conference (aka Peace and Safety in the Christian Home). They brought goodies such as a 2 page document entitled, “Guidelines for pastors responding to domestic violence” and a number of small books. During the presentation they listed two common but problematic responses by well-meaning people (not even considering the “just submit…” mistake) :

1. Pressuring the victim to leave the home…without a careful plan.

It may be important for someone who is in danger to leave. But without a plan, the victim may be in greater danger from a rageful spouse or have no access to money or other family resources.

2. Encouraging a person to go to marital counseling.

Its not possible to do marital counseling when one person is battering (physically or with words) another. Marital counseling presupposes two people working toward the same goal.

The two also mentioned a good website. Check out


Filed under Abuse, christian counseling, christian psychology, Psychology

7 responses to “Domestic Violence No-Nos

  1. Thanks Ron for catching that for me.

  2. I was also at this conference. It was personally healing in many ways, but also incredibly helpful, I think, in working to cross the bridges between hurting families and those who want to help (churches, pastors, counselors), but who, without understanding only make things worse.

    I’m so glad your colleagues attended. Counseling certainly made my marriage-with-abuse worse. And as I’ve healed from the marriage, I’ve also had a lot of counseling trauma to deal with. My current therapist and I sometimes laugh now at the progress I’m making in removing the chip off my shoulder against counseling in general and counselors as a “people group”.

  3. judi

    i had heard about this conference, really wished i’d been able to attend. are the document and books available from the website?

  4. For more news and pictures of the conference, please go to
    Catherine Clark Kroeger, president of Peace and Safety in the Christian Home

  5. Thanks for the stop by Dr. Kroeger. Thanks for your resources and work!

  6. Rachel V

    Thanks for this link.

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