Cherishing suffering?


Reading in the CS Lewis daily reader about the common feeling of shame that a bereaved person has for feeling better on a given day. My friend described that feeling as one of feeling disloyal to his deceased wife. Lewis describes this well.

We don’t really want grief, in its first agonies, to be prolonged: nobody could. But we want something else of which grief is a frequent symptom, and then we confuse the symptom with the thing itself. I wrote the other night that bereavement is not the truncation of married love but one of its regular phases–like the honeymoon. What we want is to live our marriage well and faithfully through that phase too. If it hurts (and it certainly will) we accept the pains as a necessary part of this phase. We don’t want to escape them at the price of desertion or divorce. Killing the dead a second time. We were one flesh. Now that it has been cut in two, we don’t want to pretend that it is whole and complete. We will be still married, still in love. Therefore we shall still ache.

From A Grief Observed

Good description of the pain of losing a mate based on my friends experience.

3 Comments

Filed under Great Quotes, love

3 responses to “Cherishing suffering?

  1. Amy

    A GRIEF OBSERVED is the first “serious” C.S. Lewis book I ever read (before that I was into Til We Have Faces…still my fave Lewis book). I was 16 or 17 and read it in one night because I was that fascinated by it. I had never read something with such raw and real emotion in my entire 17 or so years of life.

    The C.S. Lewis daily reader…is it a book or something online?

  2. Yes, sorry not clear. It’s from the book, “A year with C.S. Lewis” (HarperSanFrancisco/Zondervan) and is a page a day from one of his works. Very fun.

  3. Amy

    Hmm…sounds like I need to add it to my Amazon.com Wish List. 🙂 Or I can get it for my roomie for her upcoming birthday. Heehee.

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