Have been reading the story of Joseph to the kids before bed and this jumped out at me: the lingering pain he felt long after he was number 2 in command in Egypt. Notice the difference between the Sunday School version and the actual biblical story:
SS version:Joseph was his father’s favorite. He had a coat of many colors. His brothers were jealous. They jumped him and sold him into slavery. He said no to Potiphar’s wife and was sent to prison. God rescued him by giving him the ability to interpret dreams. He becomes the second most powerful person in all of Egypt and God uses him in that position to rescue Israel from famine. In the end, he is reunited with his brothers (who grovel) and his father. “What you intended for evil, God intended for good,” he tells his brothers.
Real version: Same as above. But notice this in Gen 41:51: Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, “It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household.” The second son he named Ephraim and said, “It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.”
He spends a majority of his life in servitude for no reason of his own. How does he talk about it and think about it after arriving in the lap of luxury? He names his kids in ways that makes clear that he still remembers and is scarred by the abuses he has faced. The name of his first son is given showing that he is making a life for himself in Egypt and trying to forget his first family. The name of the second shows he is grateful to God but it is still the land of his suffering. Imagine naming your kids this way. “Hey, you who made me forget my previous family, come here and help me…”
Seeing life from God’s eyes does not negate the pain and suffering we experience in this life. Yes, he is able to say that though his brothers intended evil, God had other plans. He does not say that God’s grander purposes somehow made all the prior pain go away. [Note to self, when you see God’s handiwork in someone’s life and how some pain has not turned into something wonderful, don’t try to negate the pain, “But isn’t great what God has done and now this makes everything okay.”] But we do note that he is not ruled by revenge (even though we’re not sure what he is doing when hides his identity from his brothers and messes with them). When his father dies, he reminds them he is not going to take revenge.
Musings on Faith and Psychology 
So true! I love the story of Joseph for his courage, his faith, his tears, his humanity. And here’s a question for you: how do we tell our children the true stories of the Bible in a truthful and appropriate way that can help them know the true character of God? (Not the sunday school “happy-ending-God-fixes-everything God”? )
As I read to the kids I had them consider what Joseph must have felt to be wrongly accused, to be living in a foreign country. Then, last night we read the part where he reveals his identity to his brothers. He says twice for them to not be afraid because GOD did it. He lays the blame/responsibility at God’s feet. Did he still wonder about the missed years, find bad memories return? I suspect he did. But he had two storylines going: (A) suffering and pain, and (B) God’s providential care.