As part of my work I frequently hear about the powerful ways that trauma and distress create chronic intrusive sensory experiences in the lives of my clients. Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and bodily sensations grab traumatized people and yank them back into the worst moments of their lives. Some of my clients wish they could have something akin to the neuralyzer (think Will Smith/MIB memory wipe). I don’t blame them at all, and yet would we also lose our ability to be transported to memories and experiences we would never want to forget?
The same brain and body mechanisms that bring up our nightmare experiences, also trigger positive flashhbacks. Take a moment and think about some situations that send you to your happy place. Is it the smell of rain on asphalt in the summer? Salt in the air when you get close to the ocean? The smell of baking bread? A particular song? Whatever it is, you may find yourself transported to memories you not recalled for years. And it isn’t usually just a memory but a whole body re-experiencing moment!
For me, it is the cold of snow and winter that takes me back to my youth in Vermont. In Philadelphia, we have had an extended coldsnap since receiving about a foot of snow two weeks ago that has not yet melted. I’ve lived more of my life in this area where snow and cold like this is rare. So, when we get snow and cold temperatures, they take me back to my childhood. Images such as walking in the moonlight on hard crusted snow without breaking in or leaving a footprint…tunneling through mounded up snow…walking in the woods, sometimes on shoeshoes, and stopping to have a fire to warm up next to while you drink hot chocolate from a thermos…the sound of silence while the snow falls around you.
Today as I walked in the woods of the Wissahickon I could nearly taste the smoky flavor of a toasted Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwich. Because it is so cold, I had the woods to myself and it transported me to walks in the woods behind our church where I was alone with my senses or observing what animals prints crossed my path.
Not all of our childhood memories are happy ones. Some of us struggle to remember any place where we felt safe and secure. For you, maybe it was just when a particular teacher noticed your good work…a time when you were alone and not being harmed…a time when you recall your strength and courage…a book that when you read for the first time changed your entire perception of the world.
What senses help you return to that bit of memory? Often, we don’t choose to recall these experiences, they just happen, as involuntarily as the bad experiences. But it is possible to seek some of our positive memories in a more intentional way. Listen to a song that you remember loving when you were a child. Eat a particular food that was a staple for you that you remember loving (anyone know if RC Cola is available today?). You might not still love that song or food but it can be a way to prompt you to remember experiences that have helped you become the person you are today. Even the harder memories can remind you of what you survived and what has shaped your way of being in the world.
I’ll leave you with a few pictures that remind me of memories of being alive in the snow. But ask yourself:
What senses or present experiences take you back to formative experiences of your childhood?
Musings on Faith and Psychology 