Tag Archives: chronic

Hope when it won’t get better?


Last night we ended our counseling & physiology class. All semester we have been looking at counseling through the lens of the body and its problems. All counseling problems are physiological since all counselees come with a body. But of course, some problems have more complex etiology and require counselors to understand how the body is part of the problem and solution. This semester we looked at a wide variety of problems: trauma, anxiety, addiction, sexual problems, bipolar disorder, autism, multiple sclerosis, traumatic brain injury, and much more. In addition, we explored how insomnia is the “mental illness multiplier” and some basic self-care and mindfulness provides much relief across all problems. And yet, we barely scratched the surface of the physical stuff we’d like to know.

But last night, we considered the problem of chronic illness, illnesses like chronic fatigue,¬†fibromyalgia,¬†and irritable bowel syndrome. Here’s the question I posed. What gives us hope when we no longer seek the removal or end of an illness? Most people come to counseling because they want to make their marriages better, end depression, find a new career, etc. But would you go knowing that all you can do is find marginal improvement and new ways to accept a chronic condition?

We discussed the unique problem of receiving endless advice (“Have you tried this? Have you considered that?”), the tendency to resist new ideas even while hoping a miracle will come along, and the fear that others will believe that your chronic condition is, “all in your head.”

Back to the question we asked, “What gives you hope when you don’t hope it will get better?”

Some answered that they found hope in finding other similar sufferers (though some danger in connecting with someone who only wants to vent). Others found hope in those who would be willing to listen and validate and help articulate lament. Still others found hope in those who would help them find just one more thing they can do to cope.

What would you find helpful and hope building?

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