Category Archives: suffering

October 22, 2007 · 11:48 am

Knowing God’s faithfulness in a broken world


Several important people in my circles are experiencing serious, life-threatening, health problems. Within the last year, several acquaintances have died. When you hear or experience one of these events, do you ever question whether God is faithful? Good? Do you find it hard to sing about God’s faithfulness when relationships are broken or breaking down, when health or finances are lost?

When we are young and naive we may come to equate health, wholeness, success, etc. with God’s faithful protection. And in the reverse, when we experience brokenness, sometimes we find it difficult to believe that God is faithful and truly for us. But even in difficult times, most believers can name numerous ways in which we KNOW that God has been faithful in the recent past. So, where does our discomfort with God come from?

I have noticed that the greatest discomfort comes NOT from wondering if God is faithful or if he loves me but from the realization (again and again) that his faithfulness may not produce the outcome that I am looking for. I have expectations–even demands–about how God can best protect me and the people I love from pain. I am tempted to give in to despair, bitterness, even anger when an unspoken expectation is shown to be what it is–an assumption I have placed on God that he may not meet. And I find myself saying to God, “I know you have done (all these good things) but what I really want is _________.”

During a song at church this Sunday, I was reminded (If I were charismatic I would say the Lord spoke to me. But I’m Presbyterian so we use different language :)) that this world would be far more broken if not for the Lord’s power to limit the effects of sin on the world. We would have no measure of physical, emotional, or spiritual health if not for God’s restraint of the Evil One. Things are bad in so many ways but God continually is caring for and sustaining us, even in our poverty, sickness, and broken relationships. We become blind or dulled to his constant caring. When something surprising happens (safety from a near accident, unexpected monetary blessing) we see God’s handiwork.

Lord, help us to see your handiwork in the mundane as well as the extraordinary. 

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Filed under Meditations, suffering

October 3, 2007 · 9:28 am

You can leave The War, but it won’t leave you


Caught the last 15 minutes of the last installment of Ken Burns’ The War on PBS.  At some point I’m going to have to watch all 15 hours of it. A couple of men were talking about the unspoken PTSD they experienced after the war but couldn’t really talk about (back then). One man, from Minnesota, had described several traumatic experiences in other installments. He concluded the show with a comment that I don’t have in quotes but is as close as I can remember it. He said something to the effect of, I’ve had a great life; I’ve enjoyed myself; I have a great family…but sometimes the war sucks you back in.

Another gentleman described coming home from being a POW in Japan and being filled with hate for anything Japanese. At some point in his life he realized he had to let it go. As he said, the Japanese weren’t being hurt by his anger, he was. He met with a preacher who helped him find relief and to let it go. But the most interesting part of this little story is that the man telling his story then paused and said something like, but its taken me another 30 years to deal with it.

Isn’t that the truth. We find relief and healing; but that doesn’t mean no ongoing consequences and no ongoing fighting to hang on to truth, hope, sanity, and peace. Healing rarely is immediate and complete. But don’t mistake slowness and ongoing battles as the absence of healing. No, we are being healed–just day by day as we hang on to God and the folks he has placed in our lives.  

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August 22, 2007 · 5:16 am

What letter would you write to your former abuser?


Last night I was perusing a treasure I re-discovered on my bookshelf. Back in the dark ages my wife took a Black literature class at UConn and had the foresight to keep the books. This treasure, Dark Symphony: Negro Literature in America (Free Press, 1968) contains works from great writers such as Langston Hughes, W.E.B Dubois, Paul Laurence Dunbar, Ralph Ellison, and of course Frederick Douglass.

It is Douglass’ Letter to Thomas Auld (sometimes entitled, “To my old Master”) which first appeared September 22, 1848 in the Liberator. Thomas Auld was Douglass’ master before he escaped and gained his emancipation. Here’s a link to the whole letter but consider for a minute what you might write if you were writing to a past abuser. Continue reading →

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Filed under Abuse, Great Quotes, Racial Reconciliation, Repentance, suffering

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July 23, 2007 · 12:45 pm

Is it a blessing or a trial?


I read last night to the kids from Exodus before they went off to bed. Chapter 13:17-18a says this: When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though it was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.

Here’s some things I began to think about:
1. How easy it is for us to assume we know better than God what we need. I would bet the Israelites weren’t told the reason for going the long way to Caanan. What did they think? Wouldn’t shorter be better? It would be less taxing on the children and seniors. It would bring us sooner in the Promised Land.  If you look at a map, the probable path of the Israelites takes them south and east before going north. Again, it would be easy to assume that a mistake has happened. There were trade routes due East that would have been shorter and not through the land of the Philistines.
2. God had plans to show them (and the rest of the near world) his glory, his power. We, on the other hand, just want to avoid all suffering and danger. If it wasn’t enough to see God deliver them out of slavery, they were going to see his power to save them a second time when cornered by Pharaoh. Why put them through this stressful situation? The end of chapter 14 says this: And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feard the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.
3. Despite obvious evidence of the Lord’s guidance, we are prone to give way to fear. Notice that though they had the cloud and the pillar of fire with them, they immediately despaired when they saw the army coming after them. And of course, when we despair, we are prone to attack those in authority over us. And we disbelieve that God is good.

So, what you are going through today may indeed be a trial but also a blessing. What we often cannot see is how God’s hand is in it or how it will be a blessing. There are times God brings us through a difficult thing to (a) protect us from something even more dangerous, (b) to increase our faith in him, (c) and/or to show us his glory. We do not have access to hindsight as we do with the story of Israel. However, we do have access to his promise that he will be with us and that he is shaping us into his people. We do not have to be pious and call the evil being done to us something good. No, it is not. And yet, God is good. He uses these things for his glory and our enrichment.

Now here’s my challenge. I have to have faith that my several thousand dollar car repair is a blessing in that it provides an opportunity to hang more tightly to God in regard to my finances. Rather than trusting myself, I must trust him. Instead of saying I will do thus and so, I must be more careful to say (and mean!) if the Lord wills…

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Filed under Biblical Reflection, suffering

May 10, 2007 · 12:45 pm

Musings on Evil


In our clinical staff meeting we watched NT Wright’s DVD entitled, “Evil”. I commend this as well as his video on the resurrection (very good for those who are seeking God). He explores the biblical images of evil and God’s response to it (and therefore directions for us as well). 

But back to evil. Wright makes mention of the popular usage of the term. It tends to be something we use to talk about really really bad stuff in others: pedophiles, rapists, murderers, terrorists, that sort of thing. We use it in ways to say we’ve encountered something that is definitely, “not us.” I was taken with one clip where an English man spoke of his work with offenders. He did not think they were born that way but developed a “blind spot” that gave them the confidence to keep going despite knowing at some level that what they were doing was wrong.

This process is rather mundane. We find a way to make okay what is not. We “share” instead of gossip. It feels good and we reassure ourselves that we are only seeking counsel. The spot grows bigger. We fantasize saying hateful things and rehearsing what we need to say to a co-worker who hurt our feelings. We do so to “prepare” for our encounter. We feel better because we help clarify that we are righteous and the co-worker is not. The spot grows bigger. Our self-confidence grows.

How ought we to respond to evil? Simple: name it and bear witness to it (and run from it) as it is–in ourselves first and also anywhere else it appears.

Near the end of the video, Desmond Tutu described evil as not something that defines us completely. We are not completely murders or the like. Forgiveness, he said, allows us to allow the sinner the freedom to have a new beginning.

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Filed under Doctrine/Theology, sin, suffering

April 26, 2007 · 5:03 am

Why do we suffer? Does God hear? What is He doing?


Dumb question, right? We suffer because we live as broken people in a broken world. We suffer because of sin and its effects. Does God hear? If he does hear and answer, how will we know? Will it translate to less suffering in this life? Continue reading →

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March 20, 2007 · 12:08 pm

Levels of Depravity and the American consciousness of evil


I listened to and interview with NY Times columnist Thomas Friedman (author of best-selling, The World is Flat) on the way to work this morning. He was discussing the dire problems in Iraq. During the interview he was grieving the losses that 9/11 brought to the sense of safety we Americans used to have. He talked about no longer being able to travel the world as an American without any worries as to safety. He mentioned how in DC one has to produce an ID to go into public buildings now. To underline these day/night changes in the last few years, he compared his experiences covering 5 years of the Lebanese civil war to what is happening in Iraq and Afghanistan. From his perspective, even in the atrocities of the Lebanese civil war, there were still lines of civility not crossed by the combatants. But now, there is no sense of “sanctuary”. Everyone is a target. A hospital to treat Muslims was blown up on the day it was being opened, a mosque was blown up during a funeral, school girls blown up during a test.

His comments made me pause. Is the world reaching some deeper level of depravity not seen before? Continue reading →

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Filed under News and politics, sin, suffering, Uncategorized

February 28, 2007 · 5:58 am

Contemplating Joseph and the temptation to “happily ever after” other people’s suffering


Have been reading the story of Joseph to the kids before bed and this jumped out at me: the lingering pain he felt long after he was number 2 in command in Egypt. Notice the difference between the Sunday School version and the actual biblical story: Continue reading →

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February 6, 2007 · 9:27 am

More losses


We lost a wonderful husband, father, pastor, and Old Testament scholar last night. Prof. Al Groves of Westminster Theological Seminary died of complications from Melanoma. I had the pleasure of taking Hebrew from him. I’m not a great language person but I have to say it was a pleasure. He knew how to make it enjoyable.

He and his family have been very open about the dying process. If you want to see a picture of faith and strength in the midst of hardship, check out their blog, www.algroves.info. Make sure you read his wife’s entry on 1/30/07. 

I must confess I have a harder time sharing in their joy over his rest and peace. I think I might if I had been so close to his suffering as they have been. But, I am overwhelmed with the vivid reminder that this life is full of pain and heartache and death. This is not the way it was supposed to be. So, I hang on to Ps 121 which tells us that God hangs on to our very soul and I pray Hab. 3: that I will rejoice though there are no cattle in the stall…and no figs on the trees.

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January 18, 2007 · 5:18 am

The impossible gift of forgetting wrongs done to you


Sorry for the brief hiatus from The End of Memory. Starting a new semester plus am looking at two books that I may review in some detail right after (Jimmy Carter’s new book on the Palestinian/Israeli conflict and Ed Gilbreath’s book on being a black man in white evangelical organizations–both have to do with dealing with longstanding conflict and hurts).

Volf in Chapter 7 begins a new section entitled, How Long Should we Remember? Continue reading →

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Filed under Abuse, book reviews, christian psychology, Forgiveness, memory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Repentance, suffering