Category Archives: pastors and pastoring

October 11, 2008 · 5:38 am

Pastors and mothers have much in common


Was talking to a group of pastors about their expectations as they entered the ministry. Several were quite eloquent and open about their surprises. Some were surprised at the level of burden and that lack of joy in the work. Some were surprised that the job of pastor wasn’t as eternity focused as they expected. Here’s an amalgam of phrases said by some: “I thought I was going to be dealing with weighty matters, life changing stuff, the stuff of soul care. But instead I’m dealing with policies, criticisms, and other mundane things most of the time.”

When talking to my wife, she so wisely said, “yeah, just like the work of a mother.” You know you are shaping souls and working to grow young boys (in our family anyway) into mature men. But most days you are dealing with socks, runny noses, and whiny, ungrateful kids.”

Yeah, mothers and pastors work for weighty, eternal matters. But day by day it is hard to keep that in focus.

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Filed under parenting, pastors and pastoring

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October 7, 2008 · 5:08 am

Manhattan


Off to NYC to talk to a group of pastors regarding their spiritual and relational health. My basic point: unique stressors of ministry plus unmet personal/professional expectations equals stress responses that either destroy or strengthen a pastor. No rocket science here but I hope to get them thinking about some practical steps they might take to ensure their own renewal. Some Shepherds tend, I’m sorry to say, to focus on the care of the sheep but neglect their own care–thus forgetting they themselves are sheep.

Interested in a summary of research on the unique situation of pastors? Check out the “slides” page for a brief paper written by me last year for a group of us meeting to dream about starting a center for multi-level care for christian leader families.

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Filed under Anxiety, Christianity, Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, Depression, Evangelicals, pastoral renewal, pastors and pastoring

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July 16, 2008 · 10:18 am

Is burn-out an American phenomenon?


Part of my sabbatical is designed to understand how better to help pastors and their families avoid the crash and burn. There are many pressures (finances, conflict, loneliness, the fishbowl, etc.) on ministry families and while any one of them may not be overwhelming, together they can bring a minister to his/her knees. Worse yet, they can tempt the leader to seek comfort in ungodly ways.

But a friend of mine who cares greatly for ministry leaders was recently talking to an African pastor. This pastor has NOTHING. He ministers to those who have NOTHING, to those living under trees. They live in a country that is in the midst of a civil war.  He has his wife spend months apart ministering to the poor. When my friend asked about pastoral burn-out, this pastor could not comprehend the question. It didn’t compute–and not because he didn’t understand the concept.

Why? Are we Americans soft and weak given that we live in the land of plenty? Probably. But are there other explanations? I think so. Foremost in my mind is the place of expectationsin the life of Western pastors. Expectations of success, growth, contentment (from self and church community) create pressure and when expectations are only partially met, it leads to the temptation to discouragement and looking to greener grass. Secondly, I think living in constant crisis without hope for change rarely allows for collapse–unless it is to die. It is common for the greatest emotional collapse to happen when one has the opportunity to pause and reflect. In crisis, we do not reflect. When the crisis abates, then we reflect and see that our assumptions and expectations do not fit with reality. It is that point that leads to either leaning on the Lord while changing our expectations to match his OR either trying harder or choosing another assumption that causes greater pain.

What do you think?

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Filed under Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, church and culture, Cultural Anthropology, pastoral renewal, pastors and pastoring

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June 11, 2008 · 5:08 am

Pastor revealed


Probably several of you guessed it. The wonderful preacher with mental health issues is…..

Charles Spurgeon. Want to read more of his thoughts, pick up any one of his good books or check out this one from Amazon that weaves together his thoughts on despair, anxiety, and other dark nights of the soul.

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Filed under Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, pastoral renewal, pastors and pastoring

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June 10, 2008 · 5:04 am

Would you hire this pastor?


Your church is looking for a new preaching pastor. You hear of a man in another state who is well-known for his preaching. You listen to several of his sermons and you concur that he is one of the finest preachers you have ever heard. He is also good at mentoring younger pastors.

As you learn more about his character you learn about some potential question marks:

1. He has several physical problems. He has both arthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis. He has a kidney problem and some trouble with circulation in his feet. He is only 45. Last year he had to take several Sundays off, unexpectedly, due to health problems. In fact, he was gone much of the winter to a warmer climate because of his health needs.
2. His wife has health problems that limit her time out of the house. She rarely gets to church.
3. He has severe anxiety and depression. Once while preaching at an evangelistic service in a large building, someone yelled fire and started a stampede. 7 people were killed. Since then he has anxiety attacks frequently. He takes medications for depression. He struggles with dark thoughts from time to time.
4. He is markedly overweight. He admits he finds comfort in food. He also smokes cigars daily. He is not physically fit.

So, would you hire him? Could you overlook his health problems because he is such a great preacher.

Tomorrow I’ll reveal this pastor’s name.

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Filed under Christianity, Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, pastors and pastoring

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May 8, 2008 · 5:31 am

Risk factors for pastoral infidelity


Today, I listened to a CD of Dave Carder at last year’s AACC convention. He is the author of Torn Asunder, a book about affairs. I’ve not seen his newest book, just out in April, is entitled Close Calls. Both available on Amazon.

He presented a talk entitled, “Emerging Trends in Pastoral Infidelity.” He summarized data gleaned from 5 studies between 1987-1998. He continues to collect information that will be out this year.

Here’s some surprises in his data and risk factors:

1. suspected rate of sexual impropriety: about 40% (though this is perceived because of underreporting. Actual reporting number is 21%, though 15% admitted to lying on the surveys)
2. pastors affair partners are now more likely to be outside the church
3. 90% of pastors report being blindsided by the affair–they didn’t see it coming
4. The vast majority of improprieties are never discovered
5. Risk factors increase with:

  • History of sexual molestation, family history of infidelity, adolescent promiscuity, learning disabilities/ADHD, female friends with private conversations, conjoint ministry with opposite sex, lingering outside of ministry to share personal matters
  • Lower age in conversion to Christianity increases risks
  • Higher education increases risks as does increased bible education
  • both ministry exhausted and ministry connected pastors 

Any of these surprise you?

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Filed under Christianity: Leaders and Leadership, church and culture, Evangelicals, pastors and pastoring, Sex

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September 14, 2007 · 5:19 am

Restoration to the office of minister after a fall?


Can I share with you a great nugget Diane Langberg shared with me last week from Ezekiel? It was so good that I thought I’d like to share it here as a little snapshot of our AACC talk yesterday in Nashville.

Background: Diane has been thinking and writing about abuse of power and the impact of Christian leaders feeding on the sheep. Together and individually we have talked with churches about whether pastors who abuse or have significant moral and public falls should be restored to the office they formerly held. If you read the existing literature, authors fall into two camps: yes and never.

Now, consider this text: Ezekiel 44. Verse 10 speaks of the sins of the Levites (church leaders), “who wandered from me after their idols…” These leaders, “must bear the consequences of their sin.”  However, verse 11f says, “They may serve in my sanctuary, having charge of the gates of the temple and serving in it; they may slaughter the burnt offerings and sacrifices for the people and serve them. But because they served them in the presence of their idols and made the house of Israel fall into sin, therefore I have sworn with uplifted hand that they must bear the consequences of their sin…They are not to come near to serve me as priests nor come near any of my holy things or my most holy offerings; they must bear the shame of their destestable practices.”

If we apply this to falling after idols in our world, it sounds like the answer is yes there can be restoration to some forms of ministry but not to the most important or highest offices where the person represents the voice of the Lord. Senior pastors who fall from their position may (if repentant) be restored to lower level, nearly lay ministries but must not be returned to the highest offices in the church.

What do you think of this interpretation for today?  

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Filed under Biblical Reflection, pastoral renewal, pastors and pastoring, Repentance