Category Archives: Meditations

How spam fulfills the curse of Genesis 3


The curse delivered in Genesis 3 is that childbearing will be painful, husbands will dominate their wives, and that the land will produce briars, impeding our ability to work productively. Spam is my briarpatch. Despite filters, I still get daily spam in by inbox. Just today someone sent me a wonderful piece of literature (several lines from To Kill a Mockingbird) in order to hide the spam of getting some cheap viagra. Also, a Liberian prince wants to give me 15 million of their secret cache of money if only I give them my bank numbers. This blog now gets spam. Thankfully, WordPress has a filter that catches most of it and only occasionally blocks a real person. A few weeks ago, I got 20 in one day. Apparently, someone thinks my penis is undersized. But, this morning I noticed that one spam offering to increase my “girth” got posted so everyone has to be exposed to such crud. Thankfully, I have the capacity to delete.

While the Lord says, vengence is mine, I’d love to have the capacity to hit the reply button and send a small electronic nuclear device that blows up that louse’s server.

Someone got some good gloves? looks like I have to contend with some briars here from now on.  

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Gandalf on living in a fallen world


Here’s an amazing piece of dialogue between Gandalf and Frodo (from the movie, LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring) about Gollum’s presence with them in the Mines of Moria. To me, it illustrates several things: our love/hate relationship with sin and self; our inability to rid ourselves of sinful desire; God’s pity and reclaiming us (notice how in Gen. 3 God stakes his claim with us when he sets us on one side and Satan on the other. There are only two sides, God and everyone else); and finally, our place in this world and encouragement that there is another Force besides evil at work in us and the world.

(Frodo has just noticed that something is following them through the mines of Moria. Gandalf tells him it is Gollum, the former owner of the ring)

Gandalf: He hates and loves the Ring just as he hates and loves himself. He will never be rid of his need for it.
Frodo: Its a pity Bilbo didn’t kill him when he had the chance!
Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.
Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.

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Protecting Desire 5: Using the means of grace given you


The Scriptures provide rich means to protect us from our cravings and ourselves.  God in his lavish love for us has given many means of escape.  Grace-oriented people who cherish the awesome power of God to transform lives sometimes forget the daily gifts God gives to protect us from our old selves.  We’d rather have maintenance free victorious living than accept that God offers daily (hourly? minute by minute?) manna, enough to get through to your next meal.  Yet that is exactly how God loves his children.  He provides just enough for us to depend upon him for our every need.  Oases are rare because they are dangerous to sin sick people.  They offer the deception that we are capable of surviving on our own, without God’s intervention.  Notice again that when the children of Israel are about to enter the Land, Moses beseeches them to be wary of growing fat in the abundance of the Land and forgetting who gave it to them.

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today. Deut. 8:10-18
So what means does God offer us to protect our desires from becoming toxic, to increase our desires for that which is good? It is important to remember that these means of protection from evil desires are not simply behavioral tasks that work apart from a changed heart. We cannot merely legislate or “manage” lusts. Only when God is at work and we respond to Him by submissively killing lust and putting them to death can we find the means to change inordinate desires. Management, at its best, only produces a “dry drunk”—a person who as stopped one unattractive response to their desire, but continues to use more acceptable means to get the same desires met. Continue reading

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Protecting Desire 4: Desires gone awry


Evil Desires and the Process of Becoming Dead
Assuming that I need not convince you of the existence of evil desires, I want to explore how God provides the way of escape from our temptations and tests (1 Cor. 10:13). In order to do so, I think it best for us to look first at how we are enticed by our desires and what happens to us in the process of being overtaken by sinful cravings to the point of enslavement. As I read the bible through the lens of desires, I am amazed at the sheer volume of the warnings to watch out for being overtaken by our own sinful cravings. Further, the writers are explicit—even vulgar—when describing how people become enslaved to sinful longings. In the passages that we will look at, you will see individuals, other external forces (leaders, others, adversity), and God active in this process of being given over to inordinate desires. We do it to ourselves, we listen to the deceptive words of others, and God gives us what we demanded. Thus we are enslaved and despicable. 
What does this mean for building a biblically based view of the addicting nature of desire?  How do we become enslaved to desires for things other than God? The Scriptures give attention to the descent into addiction from two perspectives. We see descriptions from a human perspective: of the physical, cognitive, and emotional processes involved as well as the impact of addiction in our pursuit of satisfaction.  Of course, the Scriptures also give us God’s perspective on human behavior. There are no excuses, no reasons, and no loopholes that explain away behavior. The human-centered description of addiction can only tell us what happens after the horse is already out of the barn. Our hearts have already given birth to sinful desire in our mother’s womb. If we only look to our own experiences, we might try to shove the horse (desire) back in the barn.  But while locking the front door, we find the desire escaping out the back door. So, let’s take a closer look at Scripture’s descriptions of this “giving over” to sinful desires. Continue reading

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Protecting Desire 3: Additional positive images from the Bible


Desire in its Best Forms
God is a Jealous, desiring God. How does one describe the unseen, all-knowing, omnipotent, ever-present God? Words and human experience can never do Him justice. And yet, God uses words to teach us about himself. He is just, benevolent, holy, and sovereign. These descriptions evoke images of power, of needing nothing. And God does not need anything for in him everything obtains its life. But notice, he does not only describe himself with terms of power and strength, but also with word that suggest desire and longing. God is not merely patient with us. No, He longs for us and would gather us to him as a hen would gather her chicks (Matt. 23:37f; the entire book of the Prophets). He pursues his wife. He hems her in even when she runs after other lovers (Hosea 2). He “burns” with jealousy for Zion so much so that he returns her to an honor she does not deserve (Zech. 8:2-4), even paying the price himself for remarriage. If God desires us, longing for the glory he deserves from his creatures, then desire is not just something that we should resist.
God cares about and fulfills our desires. You cannot accuse God of being an ascetic or uncaring of your desires. We see numerous references to God’s attention to our desires. The Psalmist reminds God that he hears the desires of suffering people (10:17). He not only hears but he also acts. In Psalm 20 and 21, David sings of God’s hand in bringing about the desires of his heart. In Psalm 37 David clarifies the relationship between human desires and God’s response. When we delight in God, he delights to give us our desires (see also Matt. 5:6). He is a father who dotes on his children. He gives good things that satisfy (Ps. 103:5). Jesus picks up on this theme and reminds us that if we, who are evil, give good gifts to each other, then will not God, the creator of the universe, give good gifts to those who ask (Matt. 7:11)? Are you not yet convinced that God delights to fulfill your desires? Then listen to David as he bursts forth in song, “You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing…He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them” (Psalm 145:16,19).
I can hear your objection. “But wait”, you say, “There are many desires that God never fulfilled for me. Continue reading

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Protecting Desire 2: First biblical image of desire


The mere presence of desire suggests a wanting of something that is not fully available all the time. We want things we do not have. We desire better clothes, bodies, material things, more comfort, connection, or even simplicity. Not long ago, several women in my home fellowship group were bemoaning the isolation caused by hectic schedules and fantasizing about living in a smaller community or at least on the same street where they could share the burden with each other. They should share meal preparation, child-care, and reclaim something lost from life from a generation ago. Similarly, many of us have at one time or another wished to return to the Garden of Eden. Paradise—where simplicity reigns and struggles and thirst do not exist! But this is not the image that Genesis paints of Adam’s existence. Instead, we learn that Adam has work to do and no help in doing it. God himself acknowledges that it is not good for Adam to be alone. Imagine Adam’s growing loneliness as he named the animals, realizing that none could be his mate. Even before any sin entered the world, Adam struggled with the ache of loneliness, the unmet desire for companionship, and burden of being the only steward of all Creation. (okay, I’ve taken some interpretive liberties but when you read his response to Eve, he must have been missing something!) Continue reading

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Protecting desire in the age of gluttony


I’ve written some reflections on dealing with unfulfilled desire. It is my belief that we must protect desire (neither try endlessly to slake it or deny it). I will attempt to make posts over the next few days. The first will be a bit about my own personal reflections on living with desire in the age of gluttony. After that, I will try to outline some biblical images related to the topic and ultimately some things we can do to protect ourselves from either despairing or demanding hearts. Here’s some of my introductory experiences… (warning, a little long, I’ll try to keep the next ones much shorter)

I have a confession to make: desire, not cotton, is the fabric of my life. I crave foods, comfortable living, excitement, time with my wife without interruptions, sex, prestige, freedom from illicit temptations (or is it freedom to indulge without penalty?), free time, obedient children, and employment that doesn’t seem like work. Satisfaction is the name of my game. And with 4 decades of experience in achieving at least partial satisfaction, I still find it ever elusive, never lasting more than a moment in time. Even when I get what I want, it’s never enough. Continue reading

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The absurdity of sin: Calling garbage a delight


[Samaria] engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians–warriors clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen.  She gave herself as a prostitute to all the elite of the Assyrians and defiled herself with all the idols of everyone she lusted after.  She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her. Therefore I handed her over to her lovers, the Assyrians, for whom she lusted.  They stripped her naked, took away her sons and daughters and killed her with the sword. She became a byword among women, and punishment was inflicted on her.
Her sister [Jerusalem] saw this, yet in her lust and prostitution she was more depraved than her sister.  She too lusted after the Assyrians–governors and commanders, warriors in full dress, mounted horsemen, all handsome young men.  I saw that she too defiled herself; both of them went the same way. But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeans portrayed in red, with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. After she had been defiled by them, she turned away from them in disgust.  When she carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her nakedness, I turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister. Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled. Ezekiel 23:5-21

Everyone knows how insane it would be for a person to look fondly upon rape or sexual assault. And yet, this is exactly what we do when we savor lustful thoughts and secret sins. Unfortunately, we have amnesia just like Samaria and Jerusalem. Continue reading

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Chambers on Christian Cancer (Gossip and Judgmentalism)


Ran across Oswald Chambers on the problem of judging others (My Utmost, June 17) after writing my thoughts on christian cancer. Seems better written and in a similar vein:

The average Christian is the most piercingly critical individual known…The effect of Criticism is the dividing up of strengths of the one being criticized…Criticism serves to make you harsh, vindictive, and cruel, and leaves you with the soothing and flattering idea that you are somehow superior to others…The first thing God does is to give us a thorough spiritual cleaning. After that, there is no possibility of pride remaining in us.

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Ponder this: Learning lessons from sorrow


Feeling gray today. Maybe it was the late night of counseling. Maybe its the upcoming retreat and being away from my family. Probably also that I hoped to kayak this weekend during the retreat but just don’t think I can fit it in. But even more, feeling the weight of friends dying and/or destroying their lives in one way or another. Anyway, this poem came to mind:

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chattered all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When sorrow walked with me.

Robert Browning Hamilton, as quoted in Philip Ryken’s commentary on Jeremiah and Lamentations, p. 755

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