Andrew Schmutzer, an OT professor at Moody, is editing a collaborative approach to the topic of sexual abuse. Chapter writers include psychologists, theologians, and pastoral care providers. The book is due out this coming July/August and is to be published by Wipf & Stock.
Title: The Long Journey Home: Understanding and Ministering to the Sexually Abused
Check out the Long Journey Home TOC for chapter titles and contributors (including your’s truly). My chapter is intitled, “The Nature of Evil in Child Sexual Abuse: Theological Consideration of Oppression and its Consequences”
Dr. Monroe – counselors are most often working with those suffering from the effects of being abused, but in looking over many resources on this subject, I see little in the way of how we should counsel the abuser who is demonstrating true godly grief (2 Cor 7:9-12) and is struggling with deep shame and regret. Do you know of anyone who has written on this topic? Would you be willing to address it?
Joseph, I think you are right, there are less resources on counseling abusers. And the resources that are there are most often focused on dealing with helping abusers get to the true Godly grief.
I think there is a reason for this. All sin is based on deception of self and other…some sin require greater levels of deception than others. For example, it doesn’t take too much to decide to speed but it takes quite a bit more to decide to rob a bank or kill someone.
I may write about this in another post. It is a worthy discussion. I do want to say three things.
1. The repentant abuser must see their life work to live in accountability, transparency, and within the consequences of their actions. Most that I have counseled are often found agitating for return to freedom, return to power, etc.
2. Shame is something that has been written on. Smedes’ Shame and Grace is probably the best known classic on the topic. That is a good starting point.
3. Godly grief does not result in shame. Grief that results in shame and regret is usually focused on self…not on God or other. Godly grief does not paralyze, it does not consider one’s own reputation but activates to seek the wellbeing of those hurt by one’s actions. Be wary of mistaking sadness for godly grief. They are not the same.
To Phil –
yes, Yes, YES!!
You write: [the abuser who is demonstrating true godly grief (2 Cor 7:9-12) and is struggling with deep shame and regret]
I ask: There is such a thing?
It seems to me that there are two types of abusers. There is the one for whom the abuse is an aberration. Then there is the other whose warp and woof is abuser. The second one excels at crocodile tears. Their shame and regret and grief are like that of the alcoholic who has no real intention to change.
Admittedly cynical…
And admittedly triggered,
Angered,
because I’ve seen the victim pressured to “forgive” the “repentant” abuser.
1 Cor 6:9-11, yes, there is such a thing. And Christ died for their sins as well as for yours.
Phil, thanks for contributing to this work and calling our attention to it. (Interestingly, I just posted on this topic.) I will definitely be on the lookout for the book this summer!
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