Fixing the toilet is like going for marriage counseling…

I imagine some might think I’m referring to the smelly aspects of toilet repair but I’m not (though it would add much to the analogy). This last weekend I decided to fix the downstairs toilet. First it was overfilling. A new float was all it needed. Then, it was running every few minutes indicating that the ancient flush valve wasn’t keeping the water from escaping the tank to the toilet. So, back to Lowes to buy a flush valve (my toilet is old so it doesn’t have that flapper thingy). To replace the whole flush valve you have to remove the tank. To remove the tank, you have remove the two bolts holding it on. No big deal…unless they haven’t been removed for 25 years (oh, and there is no space around this toilet for a man to try to get in and work). Started working Friday night. Nada. One bolt off, the other stuck hard. In trying to get it off, I did considerable damage to the rubber washer around the bolt so that the tank would leak profusely if I tried to put it back together. Lots of black smudges on the hands from disintegrating flush valve that wouldn’t come off. No big deal, we have an upstairs bathroom and a pail full of water will flush the toilet if necessary. Oops, Saturday evening we were hosting our bible study’s Christmas party for 17. It had to be fixed during the day on Saturday or…

I seriously thought about buying a whole new toilet on a trip to Home Depot but I didn’t want to open up any more problems and who knows if I could find one that would fit in our little space. I met a friend in the parking lot and he gave me an idea for using a marine grade caulk to keep the toilet from leaking while not changing the whole flush valve. Struggled all day with the toilet but made some progress only to have the toilet leaking profusely with its new guts and bolts.

By now you are wondering what this story has to do with counseling. Well, here it is. You go to counseling for one little problem. Spend any amount of time there and your counselor will dig up lots of problems you never even knew you had. But you’ve committed yourself so you keep going and keep uncovering more gunk. At some point you’ll want to just give up and call the big guns (lawyer or plumber!) and just let them do their job to get it over with. A friend during a casual conversation will give you to gem to think about and that will get you going in the right direction. Your counselor will want to take credit for that gem. Lots of headaches later, you’ll finally come to terms and find a way to make it work.

My story ended with a revelation on SUNDAY that I had put the tank bolts/washers on improperly (following the inaccurate picture directions). After improvising and getting confirmation from my father, I solved the problem.

Oh, Dinner party had to use the master bath. Also, mother-in-law impressed because I didn’t resort to cursing out the toilet or breaking anything in anger. Miracle of miracles. And to top it off, I found that I could have replaced only a portion of the flush valve for half the cost and about 2 minutes of time. That is also similar to marriage counseling. If we would just apologize and deal with our own stuff, we could save a lot of money, time, and hurt feelings…