This week in class I’ll be exploring anger, from explosive to silent, from holy to sinful. Simple definition of anger: We want something, don’t get it, and feel wronged for not getting it and justified for feeling and acting the way we do. In this sense, anger is neutral–neither good nor bad. Except one small problem, the people who get angry aren’t neutral. Seems most popular writings on anger either focus on the sinfulness of it or on the healthy expression of it. The scientific study tends to focus on the best steps to managing it (STAR: stop, think, act, review).
In a 2004 article in Psychotherapy(41:2, 161f) Andrew Rothman asks if anger is something to be managed. Good question. In the world of psychology, almost no one asks this question. Loads of studies test various Cognitive-Behavioral treatment methods to help clients stop reacting and start thinking in their anger. Some of these programs show positive results in the lab but less generalizability to novel situations that we all face in real life.
Rothman doesn’t attack CBT but he does try to point out how individualistic they are. He wants to see more focus on community or ecological response to anger (getting to look beyond oneself). While I didn’t find lots of great answers in his article, I did see a couple of things worth reproducing here, though I’m not sure how these illustrate his point:
1. Questions to ask clients (edited by me a bit)
How do you know you are angry?
What do you feel when angry? (try to get at the deeper, primary emotions)
What do you see as the as the causes or triggers of your anger? (this can be telling about what kinds of power (or lack) they ascribe to themselves)
What do you believe you should do when angry? (often all or nothing thinking)
What do you think others do or should do when THEY are angry?
What do you think others should do in response to your anger?
Where did you learn all of this about anger and responses to anger?
How do you imagine others experience your anger?
2. 3 interesting counseling vignettes about anger
Client: My blood starts to boil when she does that.
Therapist: The flame must be pretty high—how come?
Client: She just keeps adding fuel to the fire.
Therapist: How come the pot stays on the burner? Can it ever be taken off?
Client: You mean I shouldn’t let it bother me so much?
Therapist: I don’t know if “you shouldn’t,” but would you like to?
Client: I don’t know if I can. It just gets to be too much sometimes.
Therapist: What’s the “it” that gets to be too much?
Client A: She knows just what buttons to push!
Client B: I know that! My wife’s an expert on how to push mine.
Therapist: Anybody here ever wonder about those buttons? How did they get there? And who’s responsible for deactivating them?
Client: My first thought was, “I’m gonna [hurt him] right now!”
Therapist: Okay. What was your second thought?
Client: At the time I didn’t have one.
Therapist: What if you gave yourself the time and space … what second thought might come?
Client: (Long pause) I’d think about my kids.
Therapist: Yeah?
Client: And I’d probably say to myself, “…it’s not worth it to get into this…. I don’t want to get locked up again.”
Therapist: What else? Second thoughts usually pave the way for third thoughts…
Client: Hmm…. Maybe the guy was just having a bad day or something. I don’t know. Like maybe it didn’t have anything to do with me.
Therapist: Maybe it was him and not you…. You’d really be taking care of yourself that way, huh? That’s nice. Taking care of yourself and your kids. That’s what’s most important to you, isn’t it?
Client: That’s right.
Musings on Faith and Psychology 
Thank you for this helpful dialogue. Anger is a major player in most of the difficulties my clients struggle with. Understanding that it’s really all about hurt, frustration, fear, and disrespect and helping them to acurately identify these true culprits is a huge step. Teaching them what to do with these emotions in a healthy, Christ-honoring way is truly powerful work.